HEART'S CRY

Have you ever wondered if we can catch a spiritual "bug" or flu?  Has it crossed your mind as it has mine if my spiritual heart is sick?  Some days does it feel that the lethargy in your heart is like a giant boulder pressing you to the ground?  Can our heart catch cold??   Can I make my heart sick? Proverbs 13 tells us that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."  An expectation (hope) deferred (to draw, drag or seize) makes the heart (inner man, will, heart, understanding) sick (to become weak, diseased, grieved, sorry, to make oneself sick).  I've learned that when I have those beginning symptoms of being ill and feeling worn out that if I'll slow down, drink water and take care of myself I can stop it.  However, if I "buck up" and push through- it will flatten me.  After a few times in the hospital- I listen better to my body.   However, when I'm feeling the twinge of a sick heart where it is dragging and becoming weak, I miss it....

At times it is as if I've been hit by a tidal wave of feelings of inadequacy and fear and it can knock me off my feet.  My heart becomes swamped with those voices of condemnation that I cannot provide enough; am not working hard enough; can't do enough and am not enough.   In these conditions I face the only two choices of a drowning person.  Flog, flail and reach for anything to make me feel better and rid me of these anxious thoughts.  Or float.  Recognize and stay in the situation until I'm rescued by the only one who can save me.    I can try to do it myself but will drown.  The only freedom from self condemnation is in the knowledge that I have been set free from the law and sin and death!!!!!!!!   I am in full surrender Lord floating on this tidal wave of feelings of self condemnation and inadequacy knowing that you alone know how to pull me out of this mess!!!!!  You alone can put my feet back on solid ground ...

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.  Ecc. 11:1 Give it all you have!!  Put it all in the game.  Don't leave anything on the field.  Put it all on the line.  Life is full contact!  Just some of the one liners we use in life.    Cast your bread is such a cool word picture.  I can just picture a woman standing on the edge of the Nile River or in a boat tossing the grain seed in the flooded waters so they will sink into the soil as the water recedes.   Cast here means to send away; to sent, extend, direct, cut loose, let go, set free, to shoot.... She is not standing in the boat clutching the seed to her breast with panic that she might lose all she has.  She is not calculating the percent lost to the percent that actually took root.  I can see her standing with her head up and the wind in her hair as she lets go of everything she has.  Throwing it in the water to come what...

Spent the day with my husband sanding 60 years of stain, polyurethane, gum and who knows what else off the beautiful oak floors.  Using different grit of sandpaper we sanded down cracks, uneven boards, and filled in holes. Cracks disappeared under the grinding of the paper.  Next step is finishing the sanding, treating and staining the floors. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17 .  God has put us together to sand down the bumps, dry spots, imperfections and inconsistencies in our lives so that our true character shows through.  It is only after this sanding that we can accept the oil of grace, mercy, forgiveness and restoration into our very being. We have to remember that hurting and struggle does not damage us.  There is a difference between hurt and harm.  Sanding doesn't harm the wood.  Just as discussion and confrontation sometimes hurts- it doesn't harm us.  If we don't let it!!!   Accept the restor...

In an attempt to prioritize and put boundaries on my time and activities, I made this really cool graph working inside out in order to remind me to work my way back to the center of the circle when I'm "overextending."  I know that when I have definition- like the lines to color in- that I feel in order.  Make sense??? Just make sure that the lines do not become traps or excuses to compartmentalize life.  God is not something to be regulated to activities and time but SOMEONE that I walk with all day long. My family isn't budgeting, cleaning, and cooking.  It is WHO I am. The experiences, security, strength and my way of life!!! They are with me ALL the time.  The calling of my life is my family.  God called me to be my husband's wife and my boys' mother.  Being my boys' mom IS my calling.  It has been THE CRY of my HEART for over 19 years when I pray daily, hourly and minute by minute for God to help me overcome my weaknesses.  To live ...

Listen.  "Make an effort to hear something.  Take notice of and act on what someone is saying. Respond ." Dictionary So simple isn't it and yet so hard.  The whole world is crying to be listened to.  The young child with stories galore; the older person aching to tell their story; the co worker; customer; spouse; children; parents; people in the grocery store and our neighbor.   Listen without expectation and without "fixing" or striving or self-interest. Listen with our hearts, minds, souls, senses and body.  Listen with intuition and our "gut" and listen with our whole being! Listening is exhausting when you listen with all of your heart.  Walking into a classroom one day I was determined to listen with everything I had.  I heard all of those little heart's cry to be paid attention to, to be heard, to be touched, to be valued and to be accepted.  Patting one, listening to one's story, giving hugs, encouraging, telling them how big ...

My heart is tearful and I don't know why!  The ability to ignore pain is a strength in my book and a value from where I was raised.  However, it can be a curse & I'm learning to pay attention whether it is a physical pain or a heart ache.     If we ignore pain for too long we build callouses and weaken our responsiveness.  Our hearts cannot function the way they were intended.  Harden your heart and you weaken your soul.  Our spiritual hearts were created to be in a constant taking off the bad and putting on the new.  Just like our skin when callouses disrupt the skin process so ignoring pain disrupts the process of putting off and putting on the new. Pain is meant to cause our Heart to Cry out to God.  Not to ignore or put on pedestal.  Not to whine or use as an excuse.  Not to push aside.  Not to pin on someone else or looking to someone else to take it away or fill the loneliness.  Only God can hear our true Hear...