HEART'S CRY

I will soon be (GIANT GULP/SOB) 46 years old.  With another year, comes more reflection. What has my life been about all of these years?  What has driven me?  What am I passionate about?  What next?  How will I get there? My sisters and my family were my life and I thought about them in every decision I made.  Then my husband and soon after my boys became my every passion.  I love being a sister, wife and mother.  Being a wife and mom has been and will continue to be the most important calling of my life.  These roles have filled me with joy and until more recently riddled my heart with guilt and shame.  I think of the barrels of energy wasted on guilt and shame.  I could not and would not be the perfect wife and mother I wanted to give my family.   The shame became my driver, even as my family was my passion. I remember sobbing into my pillow my prayers seeking God for forgiveness and not to ta...