HEART'S CRY

Hanging on to a drowning man or woman is a dangerous call. A friend who does this sort of thing told me once that rescuing a person while they are drowning is one of the most dangerous calls.  They are trained in how to take care of themselves and they know the right way to help people out of these close calls.  What is that they do?  Do they find a way to anchor themselves first to ensure their safety?  Do they have a backup to rescuing the rescuing? Being the hero is a good feeling.  And it is addictive.  Like all addictions, it puts us in a dangerous position mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  We begin to see everyone as victims that we need to rescue.  If they are not victims to begin with then by the time we are done justifying their actions they will be by George. Everyone wants us and soon we are making those rescues without a backup and without our safety in mind.  We become invincible in our own minds.  Ou...

So...what a feeling this having grown up children is.   When they were little or when they were 14 I had such a different view of what that would look like.  Now here I am...it's a totally different ball game!  I sure see things differently.   So I asked my Mom...was I this independent?  To which she laughed hysterically.  At 18 I went to Bible College before cell phones, facebook and email.  One phone on the floor of my dorm for us to use.  She said she would call my floor and I was gone and she wouldn't hear from me forever.  Then I did call to tell her about this guy I met and that I was getting engaged and would be married in May.   Why was everyone so worried? I wondered.  Good grief.  What world did I live in? Now I know why she and the girls wrote so many letters to me (which I saved them all) trying to keep me grounded in the real world-that I had taken leave of! Then married and expecting and no phone. ...

If life is a journey then I had better make sure that the path that I am on will take me to where I want to end up!    1.  Take a Good Hard Look Around.   Where am I?  What path am I on?  Will this path lead to where I want to end up?   How do I get from here to there without a good look at here?  No pretending in life!  I can't wish it or hope it to happen.  I have to get on the ride road! 2.  Follow the Leader!  In all aspects of life there is someone who knows more than me!  But in life I want to follow God's leading.  In order to do that I have to submit to His way.  How's that going?  Am I on the path I want to be on and yet expect God to get me somewhere else?  "God give me a great marriage or a great relationship with my children."  And yet....I live only for myself.  Or I wish I could lose weight and yet eat like there is no tomorrow.  Sound familiar to anyone? 3....

The Journey: It's not just about getting from here to there. It's not just about staying the course or putting one foot in front of the other. It's not just about making it.  Surviving.   It's not just about the doing or the not doing. It's not just about beginnings or endings or in betweens.... It's all the above PLUS the Joy in the Journey. Joy is not happiness.  Not based on "what's happening at this moment." Joy is about rejoicing.  Rejoicing in ALL the journey and through the journey.   Not just a sense of calm or acceptance or apathy but rejoicing in everything along the way.  Not letting those happenings around us including our own feelings stand in the way of our joy.   Joy is our strength!

Embracing the seasons of my life. Seasons are natural beginnings and endings.   Sowing and reaping.   Mourning and celebrating.  Holding and letting go.   Learning and teaching.  Feelings, energy levels and focus seems to align with the seasons.   Think of spring mornings and fall evenings and winter nights. My Season. It's a season of being a wife to my husband and mother to my three young men leaving my nest.   My season of holding on to my husband and letting go in many ways to these young men.   Season of planting, sowing and bringing the harvest to the warehouse in my relationships, spiritual life, family and financial.  Put my hand to the plow and plod on! I can't have it all but I can have this moment...this season.  This time in my life. What is the season of our lives?    Have we embraced it?   What is it that God has for us...now? How can we focus on what is right...

Indians riding high in saddle - Omaha.com

Where is your passion? The desire of our hearts? Is it alive and well?  Or is it pushed so far down in your soul that it's flame is struggling to stay alive?   Sweet friends, it is not gone!   It is like a volcano bubbling in the center of your being building pressure.  Ready to explode.   That's what scares us!  If we are engaged and passionate will we lose ourselves?   Bring it to the surface.  Not violently or in a way that will destroy you.  Rather it is to be part of our life.  Our families.  Our relationships.  Our work.  Our football!!!! Living my life in spirit and in Truth.  Being who I am. Passion!!!!! Get Passionate!!

People are going through tough situations and tough times.  Seeds of doubt, fear and uncertainty seems to penetrate our spirits.  And yet some people seem to just have the knack of bouncing right back.  My parents have all been examples of this "can do" attitude and spirit for me.  It began with those pioneers and homesteaders and continues through today.  So what makes some people not just survive but thrive?  Do some people just have the knack?  Or do they just decide they will survive and thrive? Does practice play into our ability to thrive and bounce back?  My son who is training to be a SERE instructor said one of the most important skills needed to survive is the will to.  The confidence and the determination that no matter what, I will get through this. Surviving and thriving is not just for someone lost in a forest or for a brave young service man or woman to do...rather it is something that we are all responsible for.  If w...

I'm always asking God to change me and then shocked when He does it...and it hurt! As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17   This verse comes alive in my house where a sharp knife is valued.  My husband taught the boys how to repair and sharpen knife blades using all the various tools.  While watching a movie, he'll work on a knife until it is just right.   Heather's expert knife sharpening tutorial:   Take the knife that pried open the paint can or dug out a plant and give it to the experts.  File, grind and work it on various grades of sharpening stone until it is a workable tool again.  It's not the same blade it was before.  It is has been changed.     Precision, patience, thoughtfulness and a very sensitive touch are needed to be able to make the perfect edge.  My husband uses his thumb to test for nicks and grooves and to judge the next step.  It's a very unappreciated an...

At times I wonder why God designed us in such a way that we have to get to know each other by our words, time and actions.  Wouldn't it be easier if we could simply be known. No misunderstandings or judging or perceptions.  No defensiveness or self protection.  Just to be known.   Getting out what I think and feel is so difficult and is reliant on others perceptions.  Having a relationship of any kind is just plain work!  Personal and professional. And yet there is one who knows me.  Completely.  One who wants me in Spirit and in truth.  To be known completely.  To be without apology or cover.   To be known in such a way that frees my heart!   Only then can I face myself completely.   Then finally, I am free to release my relationships and accept them without apology and without expectations and without worry of the end result.

A serious drought took South Dakota hostage when I was young.  Our cows were shipped to grass in Wyoming until the rain came back.  On a trip to check cows with Dad, I learned the markers of the road. Mile markers fascinated me.  A great tool for someone as impatient as I. Maybe it was intentional instruction... pretty sure it was my countless questions.  Nevertheless, I learned to rely on those markers through the years and miles driving alone. They became a sense of security.  A visual of where I had come from and where I was going. For the last twenty years, I've established my own set of markers lining the edges of my family's journey.  Today became one of these markers... my middle son became a senior and my youngest a freshman.   When my senior came up the stairs early this morning and mentioned that he had 9 months to figure out what comes next in his life... I secretly agreed... I have 9  months as well. What's up with 9 mo...

My husband's hands.   I adore and admire my husband's hands!   For 22 years they have been holding mine as we do life together.  They are what I fell in love with first.  Him taking pictures, playing saxophone and guitar.  Holding my hand secretly when we thought no one was looking.  (We went to private college.)   His hands looked so huge when he held our boys for the first time.  Their little heads resting in them for the first time.   I love his hands holding a book or studying his Bible.  Playing games, cooking, wrestling with boys, playing guitar or fixing something around the house.   His hands have provided for us as he has been bi-vocational for all of our married life.  It has not been easy or glamorous for them.  Cooking, laying carpet, ranch hand, factory work and now surgery technician.   They clean the toilets, vacuum and maintain the church. These hands that were created to p...

Is this important?  Does it matter in the big picture?  In the eternal?  Is it real?  Is it authentic?  Have value? Stepping away from the press and rush of the urgent has given me time to reflect on the truly important. Meditation and prayer. Reading and contemplation. Mindfulness.  Awareness. Listening. Being still. "Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today... The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14 What is important?  What is the most value to me? In college the cemetery was the only quiet place of escape.   I have also found it to be the most profound place to gain perspective, grounding and focus about the truly important and valuable. The cemetery creates an environment where the important is defined and all of the other "stuff" becomes minute and insignificant. 1.  Take time to be still. To gain perspective. 2.  Decide before it...

Studying Moses while preparing for youth group this year amazed me again at the faith of Moses' family. Can you imagine being Moses's Mom hiding him for three months knowing that Pharaoh's guards would kill him if they found him.   I can picture Moses's Dad, Mom and siblings gathering around him in hushed prayer during the nights holding him for as long as they could.    Then his Mom made him a basket and floated him down the river.  I can imagine what it felt like standing on the edge of the river and watching him go. Letting him go and having the faith that God will bring him where he needs to be is authentic faith.  When he was born she knew that her time to influence and pour in to him all of her love and prayers was going to be short.   She could have whined and moped and huddled in a helpless , hopeless ball in a corner.  BUT she didn't.  She prayed, worked and gave him to God. So I stand up.  Shoulders back.  ...

Did you know that waiting is a noun, verb and an adjective?  That's what the internet said anyway!  Why does it matter?   Who cares? Looking at a word from one perspective is like looking on one side only of an object and thinking we've seen it all. Usually the term waiting for me involves "having to wait for my family" or "waiting in line."  "Waiting for something good to happen."  All of these place the responsiblity for the outcome on someone else and something outside of myself. In fact, waiting is completely up to me. It is both the act of waiting according to Websters as well as the "being and remaining available for use" and a transition verb meaning, "to stay in place in expectation and to serve." Being in a state of readiness and expectant hope.  Being available for use.  Ready to serve.  In waiting.  Ready and waiting!! The saddest thing in the world to me is watching someone I love dearly view waiting as a form...

Five Minute Friday: Start.... Went to a wedding rehearsal tonight with my husband who is officiating. Have you ever thought what a miracle a marriage is? The only time that one plus one will ever equal one. Two individual people coming together Two sets of personalities, temperament, culture, experiences and expectations Two families and friends Marriage is not a small matter nor one that is easily maintained so should not be easily entered into. Requires huge amounts of unselfishness and unconditional love as well as: Commitment. Flexibility. Hope. Vision. Endurance. Persistence Two becoming One.  An awe inspiring event!

Tonight David surprised me by bringing home a small patio stove.   I was dancing with excitement and of course we just had to have a fire! True to form, Caleb dug out his bucket of emergency kindling and small firewood and David brought out his striker.  Soon a small handful of tender in hand, they soon had a small spark.  With a little care and breath they had a fire going and we were gathered around it.     Thinking about that old song, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going and soon all those around will warm up in it's glowing.  That's how it is with God's love..." Can you see it now?  I can.     God holding us in his hands as a spark from His love and presence takes root in our hearts.  His breath stirs the embers and keeps them burning.  God breathed.  His love.    Life is the small things and allowing God to breath life into us.  To share the warmth and light of His love ...

Big Picture Thursday: Haystacks: Something beautiful and fulfilling about haystacks in a summer field.   Before they are moved to be tucked into the safety of hay yards waiting the cold snows of winter.   I appreciate the work and the vision that hay represents. Families looking forward to the future and planning for that snowy day. Swathing or mowing to cut down the hay.  At the perfect time those single pieces of hay or alfalfa is raked into rows or into "piles".   For haystacks, the hay is layered just right to make these longlasting stacks.   A warm memory from my childhood was throwing myself onto the base of one of these warm stacks smelling like bread in the oven.  I would be completely enveloped by the sweet smelling hay. Or climbing and sliding down their sides if Dad wasn't looking! Watching my Mom with a bandanna in her hair and Dad with his cowboy hat racing across the field in their created machines out of old Stud...

Do you remember what it was like....you know when you were falling in love?  Smitten.  Google eyed.  Star struck.  Giddy? I think I have fallen in love again.   No, not with someone else. Something else. I've fallen head over heels for the Sandhills of Nebraska.   When I come home-I want to go back.  I get lost in  these hills.   No not literally...not usually.  Lost in the gigantic enormity of the sky and the grass. It is as if the bigness of my responsibilities and expectations in my life disappear in the grandeur of the hills.  My life pales in comparison and put in perspective. It's not what it looks like but rather what it feels like to stand in the quietness and the stillness of the wide open rolling hills.  One feels the bigness the same as feeling the sun or the wind on skin.  A feeling deep within my heart.   I've simply fallen in love!  Maybe because of the familiarity the ...

Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always To be blest: The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home, Rests and expatiates in a life to come. -Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man, Epistle I , 1733      My Beautiful Butterflies     HOPE Hope pushes through famine, desert, poverty Hope drives the soul, mind and body...forward Hope keeps going when everything else and everybody else quits or dies or collapses Hope springs, flies, jumps, walks and plods and plods Hope stands in the cage pushing against the door waiting for the chance to break free Hope knocks at the door, the window, the walls... Hope persists   Hope lifts Hope helps Hope renews Hope gives vision Hope revs the motor of our soul Hope is our ballast and our anchor  Hope kills helplessness Destroys apathy Hope weeds the garden of our lives Pulling out despair, discouragement and bad attitudes Hope is a balm that  A salve A healing oil Poured over our anx...