HEART'S CRY

I am constantly curious.  I love to learn.  I want to experience life to the fullest.  I want to be involved.  I want to live.  I want to love my husband and kids like crazy.  I want to love my job like crazy.  I want to change the world I live in.  I want to KNOW God. No.  I can't do it all nor can I have it all...all at the same time. My puppy, "Crawl," reminded me in his play this morning.  I can only pursue one thing at a time. He drug a tube from the old nebulizer out of a hidden corner in a closet.  The tube is about 1in diameter and has two ends.  It makes a really cool noise and must be fun to chew.   However, he was trying to carry around both ends...at the same time.  He would grab one while circling around to try and get the other.  At this point, he lost of the ends and the cycle continued until he was completely worn out. My son connected the tubing so he didn't have that ...

My heart is broken. The church has let down our world. Societies have let down our world. We have let down our world. I have let down our world. Children are killing for fun.  Sex is entertainment.  Churches are being destroyed As parents, we are too busy wrapped in our own lives to adore and value their children.  Oh, we spend time with them.  Running them from here to there and directing their lives.  Have our children become a project or a nuissance or a to do list? Children today come after; recreation, entertainment, drugs, friends, prestige, jobs and hobbies. As a church, we are so busy DOING our thing that we wear families out in a race to be the most righteous. My kids have been neglected at times in my zeal to be helpful. Don't get me wrong.  If we are going to raise children who are not as narcissistic as we are, then we have to model and engage them in serving ! Whether we are immersed in our own things in our lives, activit...

My son's motto as he went through six months of training in the Air Force.   Since then, I have played around with the words.  Once in a while flippantly throwing them in the air and seeing where they land.   Yesterday, I EMBRACED THE SUCK.  Really. What exactly does embrace mean?  Glad you asked! Hold closely.  Accept and support willingly and enthusiastically.  To take up something gladly. Pick up eagerly, enthusiastically and gladly everything that is mine to carry.   Lock on to God.  Lift my load.  Walk.   Embrace the Suck.

As it usually does, my garden continues to remind, teach and reinforce God's Word in my life. Lately, I've been reminded to Abide in Him.  Reminded may be a little understatement.   Hit over the head is more like it. To abide.  Means to stay.  To accept without objection.  To endure.  To remain stable and fixed.  To endure.  The Bible creates a picture.  That he is the vine and we are the branches.  It is our job to stay within Him. I completely suck at this. I'm on the run in every area of my life.   While I "get it" in my head the reality of staying with Christ can happen while I'm out running around.   It is just so easy to get lost in doing my own thing. Staying takes more muscle and character then changing gears. And oh how I love to change gears!   Finishing isn't a new challenge or a romantic tryst.  It is lonely, frightening and maddening.  It i...

Baggies, jars and other holding containers were filled with treasure when my boys were little.   My top drawer and jewelry box were filled with precious stones...gray, black and white.  Objects gathered with love by the treasures of my heart! Bird feathers, rocks, flowers and bones...these were a few of my favorite things! Leaves, sticks, bugs and (o.k. not worms and snakes) are a few of my favorite things as well! I have a very eclectic collection of treasure!  A broken necklace that Michael had bought me.  Caleb's homemade survival bracelet.  Rocks from Josh's training time where he assured me that "you were with me always." Today, I'm adding one.  A package came in the mail from my oldest with a note,  a shirt for Dad and.... a rock for Mom.  I held it and cried like a baby.  It was on the drop zone of his first jump in Jump School. Count your blessings when your babies are young and dirty handed toddlers and pr...

Tonight has the feel of fall in the air.  Which is a little scary considering it is only August!   But tonight feels like fall. Tonight I'ma football Mom and have downloaded the "Mental Toughness Training Manuel For Football" and the "Concordia Bulldog Football Media Guide," to read.   I don't understand most of it and can't remember all of their names and states. I can tell you I respect the passion. Concordia Bulldog Football in Seward, Nebraska has an amazing head coach in Vance Winters.  A thoughtful and intentional man of character from my perspective.  Then add Coach Osten of the D-line and I praise God for the mentors in my son's life!  Several football players come from our home town so I'm very proud.   My middle son is learning to focus his energy and passion!  To regulate his intensity. The team's theme for the year is-FINISH! This is my theme for every area of my life! I'ma Mama! My youngest son ...

Sounds morbid and dark.  It is.  My heart just might break.  But I might just hold on to this dream of mine!  I'm begging God to allow me to have it! I grew up in the middle of nowhere South Dakota where the rolling prairie was my playground.   I was wild and free and life was all about what you made it.  The giant open skies and hours of riding without a soul in sight was an incubator for dreams. I dreamt large!  A ranch for kids to ride, work and learn and a place for families to heal.  I had the place all picked out.   My kids would grow up homesteading like my family had done for generations. When we moved to Nebraska, my boys were angry!  We left a big house, big yard and of course the barn and working with Dad behind.  Culturally, we felt as if we had moved to another country. Then "old" flashy (tall black mare) somehow came up pregnant on the ranch.  My Mom had secured a paint stud to put in with her because ...

The internet company came to my house yesterday and hooked us up!  To internet connection that is.  Simple.  One minute we were without internet and the next, we are all set.  The outside world flooding through one single fiber optic line.   My husband is happy.  My boys are happy.  I am happy for the convenience of school and work.  I also have a feeling of a somber warning. We watch other people's lives on TV and fall in love with our shows that draw us in with increasing curiosity and decreased thought. We read others' research and work on the internet and then surf our favorite sites. Don't get me wrong.  Internet is an amazing tool that has allowed me to reconnect with friends and meet new friends.  To develop coaches and mentors and to be connected to big movements.  I am inspired and feel connected by those people who share this community and others. However, the internet makes it easy to slide...

About two hundred transition students (mostly the age of my two oldest boys) were herded into a room for orientation to a new school.  As the (very) young speakers shared how to get involved on campus and what clubs they should join, I heated up.      AS IF I didn't feel old enough already!  Seriously.  Hot flashes at college registration?!  So I strategically placed myself under the nearest vent and watched the interaction of the kids.  Trying to look as if I was somehow involved in the staff milling about in the back of the room.  Good Grief! Two of my boys are out of the house and moving forward in their lives with my third to follow in two years.  And here I am, tipping my toe back into the water of continuing education.  Then again, this is not new to my family.   Everything is a learning opportunity to me!  A new grass or animal or why the moon follows us.  Politics, faith and family drives...

Pain is simply a part if life in this earth.  Struggle is what shapes the beautiful butterfly from the cocoon.  Challenges strengthen and mold and shape us. My "little" guy had 4 wisdom teeth pulled tonight and was in excruciating pain.  I hate seeing my kids hurt. School begins soon and anxiety can creep along with it.  Little and big kids taste the changes in the season. Lets take a minute together and embrace the pain and the struggle.  Lets embrace the suck, as my son says, and joyfully hold on for the wild ride of life!

Royal Family Kids camp was amazing!  The nine little girls that we had at camp experienced the church at its finest!  Multiple denominations, communities and cultures coming together without expectations!  The only agenda being to provide as many opportunities for them to experience life as possible. What we did... Make cardboard fort and have a marshmellow, choke cherry and water fight! Sing Dress up Have a beautiful tea party Dance Have a birthday party with our Biker friends Ride horses Paddleboat Kayak Fish Swim Dress up Construct projects and do art Eat together Pray together Walk together Curl hair! Nature walks Climbing wall Picnics Trust Courses What we really did... Give children the opportunity to make their own decisions and lead the way! To create moments and memories. To normalize and give a vision of what their life could look like! To make great friends!