HEART'S CRY

I want to leave a legacy. Legacy: Something that is received from someone who died. S omething transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past <the  legacy  of the ancient philosophers  A heritage or birthright. The truth is, I will leave a legacy behind.  A legacy for my children and their children's children.  Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and financially.   "A good person leaves an inheritance for their children's children, but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous." Prov. 13:22 He knows he is part of something bigger than himself and thinks of those who are coming after.  He lives his live purposefully, with intention and honorable.  I see this person as some who has lived out their faith and is now passing on a legacy to their children's children. This is such a driving factor for m right now, I wrote my eulogy.  Now, I have to live up to it!  I have some work to ...

Two books have served as guides this summer as I seek to live my own life.  To confront and rebuild and to rebuild resiliency.  I found myself exhausted mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.   Intense times of work or stress left me completely depleted. I started with thinking about my legacy and created a life plan as I read "Living Forward." I realized I was operating from a position of great weakness.  How would I ever meet these goals I sought, when my entire being seemed strung out? I realized it was time to work, "The Compassion Fatigue workbook," gave me some specific strategies to identify some challenges and ways to build resiliency. Trust me...it truly is a WORKING through workbook. "Feeling overwhelmed didn't happen overnight," Francoise Mathieu stated.  He encouraged, "we have to walk the walk and not just talk the talk." "Your resiliency strengths come from self-motivated, self-managed efforts to deve...

In my journey to becoming more healthy and losing weight, I have come face to face with some major obstacles. Coddled and protected pet excuses are the biggest.  I have reinforced, nurtured and trained these little excuses well.   The minute I am uncomfortable and need a way out...here they come, ready to do my bidding. My favorite pets include: "I don't have time." "I've worked hard, I deserve a reward." "No body else cares, might as well take care of myself." (By killing myself with chocolate bars?) "Eating healthy is expensive and I can't spend that time of money." "Blood sugar is low." "I really don't eat that much." These are the pets who I created to cover up my fears and insecurities.  Excuses. The truth is, I don't know how much I ate and how much addiction to sugar and my messed up metabolism plays in to it. The truth is, I am terrified to live my own unyielding life. The truth...

I've lost 30 pounds in the past 2 months.  This has never happened.  Everyone is asking me HOW I am losing weight, so I'm going to write about it and invite you on this very scary journey with me.  The easy part is over.  Now, the very hard work begins.  I have 85 more pounds to lose.  I am on two diabetes medications, high blood pressure, high cholesterol etc. etc.   I am pruning and starting with  the very basics.  Weeding, pruning, deadheading and tearing down. To be honest with you, I'm so scared I will fail.  Then I will have to climb back on this platform to tell you....  just joking.  "I really can't do this."  I'm afraid I will wake up and the pounds will be back. I have had an eating problem since a time of great stress and abuse as a girl.  Shame, guilt and condemnation became permanent clothing items that I pulled over my head every day like a weighted vest.  Honestly, the w...