HEART'S CRY

The Audacity to Walk My Own Path Setting goals is exhilarating. Following through? Thats another story. Accepting my gifts my intuition, vision, strengths, and the desires placed on my heart feels like an act of audacity. Denying them? That feels easier. Sabotaging them? That feels like second nature. So the days slip by, filled with busyness but not progress. A dream sparks. An idea fuels my soul. A simple phone call could set everything in motion. I take a step forward, maybe even two. And then without warning something inside me trips me up. I picture her: A vivacious, enthusiastic young girl runs down the path, arms raised, eyes shining with passion. The wind and sun on her face fuel her. She climbs the hills with exhilaration, undeterred by the challenge. She is fearless. She is free. She holds joy with both hands and chases her dreams with abandon. Then she stumbles. She falls hard, face-first into the dirt. A crowd gathers. Their laughter is sharp, their eyes filled with taunts ...

A highway meanders and drifts over gently rolling hills and valleys. Even in the very isolated Western Nebraska I love to travel, there are opportunities to stop and take a break. If I had an emergency, eventually someone would come by and they would help me.   It feels like a safe and predictable way to travel through life. One thing I know about myself is I love to travel the back roads. It's the gravel and dirt roads that lead to the best destinations and fills my need for adventure, exploration and challenge. My heart craves the sense of uncertainty, challenge and uncharted territories. To try new ways. To look on a landform in the horizon and find a way to reach it. The past two years, my life has been a whirlwind of travel and people and learning and change. I catch a glimpse of the past as I hold tenaciously to the rope staked to my home and family keeping me grounded. I've learned how unacknowledged fear and insecurities can leave us strande...