HEART'S CRY

Visiting with a couple today who knew my friend Nate Walls for a short time left me with much to think about.  After spending some time sharing memories, the young lady had tears in her eyes.  She talked about the difference he made in their lives with his life, his stories, his compassion and his teaching- being a mentor and friend. Nate influenced people's lives.  Influence according to the dictionary is the power to affect persons and events.  Basically to make a difference in those whose lives connect with mine.  Positive or Negative. Did you know that even introverts have influenced over 10,000 people in their lifetime? It is sobering to realize that we have the opportunity and privilege to make a positive difference in others' lives everyday!!!  Sometimes it's direct influence on a person and others it is because of the domino effect.  Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect of Edward Lorenz?  My translation is that small differen...

  My son wisely told me after preaching Sunday,  "Mom, you have to keep your head."    When I get anxious- I lose my place and wiggle around in more ways then one!  I wiggle physically and mentally!  I'm like a high strung horse who throws my head and loses my sense of balance and purpose.  Keeping my head steady, bowed and true is my prayer and my battle cry.   Louis L'Amour is one of my favorite authors.  He writes, "Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more". My very favorite author puts it another way, " But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10:39 God did not call us to be spiritually weak.  He calls us to KEEP OUR HEADS !  He says, and having done all, to stand."   Mom, Keep Your Head.  Stand!   

Remember that song?  "I want you to love me.  I need you to need me.  I want you to want me."   What is that song?   Was thinking about that today as I went through my day.   Isn't that what the whole world is saying?  Isn't that the cry of every heart?  Young or old.  Rich or poor.  Busy or Bored.  Top of the world or in the gutter.   We all just want to be loved, needed and wanted.  That is the universal Heart's Cry!  The longing that whispers as it beats and screams as it pounds.  The cry that binds us, drives us and makes us who we are. God answers this Heart's Cry.  He answers us.  He whispers and puts his hand on our shoulder.  He has you on His thoughts and in His mind. He knows where you are physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  He is ALL THAT YOU NEED! 1  O LORD, you have searched me        and you know me. ...

I'm missing my son and my heart is aching and sharing a poem of my HEART'S CRY today and always for my boys. Loving my son It's not easy watching as you spread your wings and fly away. To stand watching you go knowing you are there to stay. It's mostly loving and not getting to hold. Being so proud as you are so bold. Always knowing without a doubt, God will bring good things about. Knowing you are watched by God above. Held tight in his arms of love. Up in the night comforted by the moon. Praying to God to bring you home soon. Watching as you take flight and soar, This son, this man I'll always adore. I'll stand right here and be part of the fight, On my knees in the watches of the night. Knowing I now have a different role, As I pray for God to strengthen body, mind, and soul. Know God gave me boys straight, strong and true; Arrows from our quiver sent whereever he wants you. Always my little boy, my son until my very...

It's a BIG deal!  Mom brought Maurine's pressure cooker to me.  My first.  Back in the days the pressure cooker, canning supplies and quilts were passed on from generation to generation.  This cooker is a symbol to me.  As girls we tire of listening to the stories of this jar or that cooker or this grinder belonging to Aunt so and so or Grandma somebody.  And quite honestly, I would arrogantly blow it off.  Humpf!  Didn't she know that we would be leaving the place someday and would work and BUY green beans?  My Mom, Maureen, Grandma Laura, Grandma Edith and Aunt Ally were mentors, tutors and the legends of our family. Maureen at first worked for my family on the ranch.  She was a tough, sassy and independent lady that mentored my Mom and thrilled her with stories of the past.  She made her own soap which of course we had to go watch.  She helped when we butchered chickens, canned meet or gathered to harvest and freeze sweet ...

As I listened last night to the speaker share about "not being shut up" and living life loud, I questioned my life.  Where in my life have I stopped asking God?  Have I shut up as I listen to the crowd?   The crowd of music, news, tv, computer, people, fear, doubt, "reality" and busyness? The looks, the raised eyebrows and the whispers? Where I have been rebuked and stopped loving and reaching out or being who God has made me to be?   What is stopping me from reaching out to Jesus as He walks by in my life and ask for His help and love for me and for others? As a precocious woman, I don't know if those around me know how fearful I truly can be.  Wondering if I'm missing something?  What do people think?  Am I being understood?  Sometimes when I say something, it is like I am speaking a language of my own.  Have you felt that way? Doubts and insecurities keeping our eyes inward and not on the one who has all of the answers to all ...

So I'm a wife, mom, professional, friend...   I'm still just a girl!   Still a little girl at heart and mind.   The me that I am is still the me that I was and will be.   The boys can't see the precocious tom boy who loved adventure and danger.  My husband still wants the girl in me with the snake head belt and cowboy boots.  My parents see the little me.  What do others see in me? I still want to be the little girl climbing up on my parents' lap to snuggle and be held, the running wild me riding as fast as the wind, the me with the cowgirl attitude flirting with my husband, living on a wild goose chase and the more wise me.   Can I be them all?  Yes!  That's Me.  That's what I want and need.  To be loved and accepted as ME-  all of those pieces that make me who I am.  My heart's cry is to live honest and free. And you?  Do you remember who you are?  What do you need?  What do you want ...

I woke up this morning tired.  Not a physical tiredness but a wrung out heart tired.  Make sense to anyone.  I read Psalms.  First chapter I read was 44 and one verse said, "We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground."  Pretty much said it!  I kept reading until I got to my favorite verse Psalms 46:10. Be still and Know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on the earth. I looked up the Hebrew word for still and found out the same word is used for "Still" and "Letting Go."  To (Be still, to let go, cease striving, relax, idle..) and know that I am God.   It is also interesting to note that God is speaking both to His enemies and His people.  His will WILL be done and He will be exalted in time.  To His people He is telling to be Still and He will be glorified-no matter what happens.  We have to let go of all we are depending on.  We let go of our fears and ou...

Dear God, Our hearts are broken today with the loss of our friend, Dad, Husband, Grandchildren, foster kids and co- workers.  An entire community mourns the loss of Nate Walls.  I met Nate as we worked together years ago when I was a family support worker.  We worked together as we went from company to another.   Companies came and went but Nate stood constant in our community as an advocate for families.  I'll never forget the night that I was late during a visit and he was calling the cops to find me.  He looked after us all.  Everyone knew his kids and grandkids.  If we was out to eat or run errands or working; it was very common to see grandkids riding along!  If you were around him for more than 5 minutes you had heard about his family. Nate's heart was huge.  Big enough for so many people.  Not perfect but that is what made him lovable.  He was good.  He loved with abandon and passion.  My heart is b...

Rest.  An elusive quest!  One I'm always on anymore!!  After reading the verses below... I have lots to think about! God promises us rest!  Remember faith is believing that God is who he says he is and will do what he says he will do.  Rest for my soul!  God thank you that you have a rest for us that is beyond comprehension! I pray for rest for each of you!  Rest! Let me know what you think of the verses below.   God has told his people, "Here is a place of rest; let the weary rest here. This is a place of quiet rest."  But they would not listen. Is.  28:12 Physically this chapter of Isaiah talks about the rest of war!  Spiritually, the "rest" meant is that to be found in obeying those very "precepts" of God which they jeered at . Jamieson, Fausset & Brown   This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest ...

I was struggling with how to bring up the topic of keeping the faith or shutting down and Rochelle made the comment above that put a great point to it! Faith is believing that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do.   Hebrews 11:1 says in the King James,  "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." English Standard Version states, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."  Just because something is invisible doesn't mean it isn't real.  Faith is not a force or a power or simply confidence!  It is unswerving belief in the truth of God's Word and in the person of Jesus Christ.  Paul Little states, "Faith is only as valid as the object in which it is placed." Our faith is in the unchanging Jesus who is the same yesterday, today and will be tomorrow.  He is the same in the midst of our victory as in our defeat! Put your head up and walk do...

Isn't this at the very heart of humanity?   We want to move beyond the casual acquaintance and on to something more substantial with God and with others.  Sometimes we build walls with the pain of being hurt thinking we are protecting our heart when in reality we are isolating ourselves even more.  The loneliness reverberates within us causing more and more damage. God made us relational.  In fact, I believe that God created us for that sole purpose.  He wanted to love us and for us to love Him and each other.  I can't imagine what it must have been like for Adam and Eve to have an early morning walk with God.   I wonder if they talked about their relationship, about the animals and about the garden they were growing.  Just chatting in the early morning. It is also important that we recognize that we are known at different levels.  We need to just increase our group of friends.  Do we have to have those intimate relationships with e...

Beautiful fall evening.  I've been cooking, blending and putting some food away.  While tinkering in the kitchen or in the yard I watched the squirrels very busily putting away food for the winter and I feel a great connection.   I remember harvest at home and putting up hundreds of jars of veggies and meat.  It was not a luxury but for our survival for the winter. When I read the following verse growing up - I knew exactly what it meant.  I remember one year that a neighbor didn't put up hay and during an awful winter, his cattle starved. I could see and touch the harvest.  It took me time to understand the abstract of harvest of savings.  I've always lived frugally but not saved for the winter. Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! 7 It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8 yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.  When we can earn- we need to and put it away for a season of wi...

Stress Defined: 1 pressure or tension exerted on a material object : the distribution of stress is uniform across the bar. • the degree of this measured in units of force per unit area. 2 a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances : he's obviously under a lot of stress | [in combination ] stress-related illnesses. • something that causes such a state : the stresses and strains of public life. Stress Contained: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Phil. 4:3 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Is. 40:31 Stress is not evil but it needs contained.   Stress can cause us to turn back to rely on God.  Stress can build our per...

September is my Dads' birthdays!  Yes, you heard that right- 2 Dads!  I am the most blessed girl in the world.  God knew that I needed them! My Mom married Dennis when I was four and moved to a ranch in Western South Dakota.  Very quickly I was followed by five beautiful sisters and a brother.  My Dad Dennis adopted me and they were very wise in being truthful with me right away.  In fact, we would go get a pop at the old Hereford Post Office on that day for years to come.  They told me about my birth Dad Chuck and as much as my Mom could remember about him and his family and the story of my coming to be.  I can't imagine this cowboy taking a very wild four year old along with his wild wife home to the flats to meet the family.   So we became ranch women and I loved everything about it.  It fit me!  I could help feed, ride and have lots and lots of freedom.   Can you imagine being the Dad of six girls?   I...