HEART'S CRY

Mondays I have decided is a good day to focus on personal and career development.  I hope to make this a consistent focus. I love my job and count every Monday as a blessing!  I work in an engaging and challenging dynamic environment where interdependence is encouraged and my strengths promoted.  The people I work for and with care about me personally and professionally.  The families I have opportunity to meet inspire me and give me great courage and the possibility to learn something new every day! Personally though I have my own challenges that I'm determined to wrestle into submission. 1.  Energy Level   A constant struggle.  I'm exhausted and feel stretched mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually thin. I'm taking some specific steps to build my stamina but struggle. 2.  Focus I want to do it all and learn it all.  My brain is always turning with new ideas and things to do.  Which is why goal setting helps me narrow ...

Right now they are pink but last year they were brown.  The year before that-it was black.  I've loved them all.  I crave that time of the day when I open them and climb inside.   Pulling myself within them like I used to do as a child in a hiding place and wrapping the covers around me like a well worn blanket.  Hidden within this place is the freedom and the acceptance that I long for.  A place to be all that I want to be or all that I am.  Inside this place, I don't have to know the right way of doing it.  My lack of succinctness and rambling words are safe.  Changing topics and wild dreams are all accepted.  Here I can dream boldly and without reserve.  This is where I hope, long and desire for all that I have welling up inside me.  I don't have to know the social cues or the things to do or the words to say.  I won't be judged here.   Here my voice is without anxiety and nervous talking.   Here I can...

Perspective is an amazing thing.  Being able to stand back and take the big picture view of situations, relationships and our life.   To be where we are and yet keeping our bearings with an eye on the road before us. Driving north through the sandhills the other day on a very curvy and winding road...I was reminded at how critical it is while being in today to keep your eye on the road ahead.  I would scan ahead before I turned a corner to get a sense of what was next or what could be coming over that hill.   It would not be the first time that I met a wide load of baled hay on a very narrow corner... Life is a very curvy road fraught with blind spots and no passing lanes.  Ups and downs.  Twist and turns.  Change.  Rest stops.  Detours.  Construction. Knowing the direction we are going and keeping on eye on what is over the next hill will help us reach our destination.

48 Days Blog had an article on building stamina.   Are you utilizing 48 Days website and material?  If not-check it out!   This is just in the nic of time!  I have some big changes I'm going to be making in my life so I need the stamina to build momentum to escape my status quo! Current Success: 8th Day of Not Drinking POP and especially Diet-Pepsi Alarm going off at 5am.  I am getting up and at least moving to the living room and enjoying the quiet under my throw. Next Steps: 1.  Continue No Pop 2.  Continue Waking and Getting Up at 5 ADD        3.  Drink 2 Water Bottles a day. I'm taking it one step at a time!!!!  Wish me luck...here I go!

"It's About that Time.  Time to Make a Change!  We are the People Who Can Do It."  When my son was about a year and half old this was his favorite song...  I don't even remember who sings it but it is part of who I am now.  When I'm gearing up to set goals and make some changes... So here we go.  It truly is- about that time.  If it is going to happen then I have to put myself into God's hands and get with it.  This ongoing struggle in my life of make it happen or wait for God.  I used to think it was an either/or but I believe that waiting and working go hand in hand! I parallel my front yard trees as I begin to shed, slow down and recharge my roots each November.  I try to have goals for each area of my life before the 15th of November.  Then I break them into  monthly goals by the end of the year. Do I always meet my goals?...no.  But I'm further with them then without!  Last year I decided to track monthly my p...

October is always a blessing to us as our church family, who always loves and prays for us- sends us notes of encouragement and love. My heart is going out to all of those in our world who spiritually care for others.  Pastors, missionaries, teachers and small group leaders who in their own way shepherd their flock. Seems like such an old fashioned word..."Shepherd".    Outdated some say.  Extinct.   However, I find it extremely relevant for today's world.  Shepherd isn't just a noun.  A title.  It is also an action.  To shepherd.  I grew up around shepherds.  Only they were called something a little different...cowboy, cattleman, or rancher.  So for those of you unfamiliar with that way of life-I'd like to share my experience. Growing up it was our job to take care of the animals.  Provide shelter, food and water.  Maintain their health.  Manage their resources.  If it was blizzarding-we st...

Begin: Relationships are built, created, formed and made.  They are not a given. A caring connection with anyone requires work, effort, commitment and persistence. The determination to look past the surface to the hidden rooms of another person. Leaving all predetermined ideas and judgments at the door of a person's heart. Ditching expectations and hidden motives and walking in authenticity and openness. Cutting any strings that are attached and loving with an unconditional love. A Caring Connection with someone is what we long for.  With God.  With Others. A caring connection with anyone involves risking it all. Not playing it safe. Giving.  Touching.  Being real and authentic. True.  Honest.  Direct.  Open. I'm counting as a blessing my relationship with you...my blogging friends!!!  Thank you for letting me into your home and hopefully your heart!

Big Picture Thursday:  My Team Thinking about my team that I've followed for 12 years in one form or another.   Basketball.  Baseball.  Club Football.  Middle School Football.  High School Football.  Wrestling. 4-H.  Traveling. Preschool.   School Events.  Birthdays.  Cheering.  Growing up together. Tonight they play their last regular season football game together.  It is a bittersweet moment.  Very few classes have the camaraderie and relationship that this one has.   What a blessing it has been.  I love each of them.   My prayer is that they maintain these relationships throughout their life. ...That they will build on this movement and these relationships as they pursue their life's goals.  You have left your mark...on the school.  On our hearts. Ogallala Seniors 2011

Bittersweet.  Pleasure tinged with sadness or pain.   Interesting word.  I don't think this is exactly the word to describe what I'm feeling but it is close. Cherishing moments.  Moments are the building block of memories.  Moments are those links between yesterday and today and tomorrow.  Moments are bridges between generations.  Moments are fuel for life.  Spark Plugs!  Capturing moments.  My Heart's Cry...capturing those precious nuggets time and putting in the safe within our heart! My oldest son texted me late last night the coolest picture of a new jacket he bought and I was able to tell him I love him and good night and fell asleep holding my phone.  Precious moments.  My middle son is a Senior and tonight is his last regular season game.  As he walked out this morning clad in his jersey, climbing in his old truck and with his little brother heading to school.... precious moments!  I stood by the door ...

I've been thinking about Nehemiah.  He is one of my heroes!  His heart broke because of the brokenness of his people.   They were broken, exposed and lost.  God put a burden on his heart to rebuild the walls. The coolest thing about this is that each family build their portion of the wall.  They stood, built and fought their way together.  As they built and repaired what was in front of them-they linked with the family next door.    Reminds me to get to work building, repairing, and intensive focus on what is in front of me to do.    To work with my family to do what we need to do.  To link with other families within the whole church to rebuild.   What would happen if just my blog friends and I link arms and get to work?  My family?  My church?  Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.” ...

I feel like I need to apologize before this blog as it is just my heart laid bare.  One of those... disclaimers...But I also want to encourage us to be real...with ourselves and with others.  Humble.  Authentic. Honest. The past few weeks have finally taken their toll on me and after sleepless nights of deeply disturbing dreams; emotional and mental exhaustion have wreaked havoc in my heart, my will, body and even my mind.  So many people are going through so much and I know that if I don't monitor myself...I won't be any good for anyone...anywhere.  Nothing scheduled so I spent time in God's Word backing away from having my face up squashed up against the glass of the world and back to where it belongs.   My bookmark was on Psalm 103 which is a favorite of mine but was amazed at the part that I had not really focused on..."he knows how we are formed," I love brain research and these two trains of thought collided head on (brain/head on...lol) th...

Rest.  Peace. Nothing feels better then a shower and climbing into bed after a long and productive day of work.   Casting off the work clothes and the cares of the day.  So satisfying.   Have you ever noticed how "unrestful" a full day of "resting" can be?  Resting on our own? "Let us make every effort to enter into that rest, so that no one will fall...." Hebrews 4:11  We cannot have rest without the labor...and the casting.  And.... it is an active process. The Greek word used for rest is an active word.  "Actively putting to rest.  Calming the winds." My paraphrase...cooling your jets! Casting on Him! Real rest comes after determined, consistent and diligent  casting it all on HIM! Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. We can't do anything on our own strength.  We try. We want to. We think we can.  We Can't. True Rest is being in Him all of the time.  Casting all o...

So I think he finally did it.  Finally burned enough bridges and pushed enough people away and proved to himself that he is "bad, broken, unfixable and hopeless."  No matter what is happening around the world....the children pay for it.  Babies in wombs that have no idea of the treasure growing within them.  Having to absorb drugs, alcohol, pills, stress and abuse.... having traumatic brain injury before they ever enter the world.  The affects of alcohol, drugs, cortisol on the brain of a baby is with them their entire lives.   The selfishness of a family brought to bear on the baby.  Not just the Mom and Dad.   The Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles.  The church.  The "me" has been put on a pedestal and worshipped.  Children are sacrificed on the altar of selfishness and entitlement and having it my way or having it all.....  What about the babies?  The kids?  The youth...

Beauty! The South Platte has quieted down for fall. After a very exhausting four or five days...we took a few minutes to go walk the nature park after work today.  If you need a little refreshing...this does the trick.  Although not thrilled with the picture...I love the fallen logs and myriad of colors.  David can find so many things I miss when we walk. This thrills me and reminds me of some debris shelters three little boys made. The boys loved to go here when they were little and make forts, explore, climb and run around so it is a little walk down memory lane for us as well!  Robins galore!  I'm wondering if they begin to gather for migration about this time.  Does anyone know? Fuzzy Caterpillar was happy until Oreo knocked him off.  My Aunt says that this is a sign of a mild winter.  Here's hoping! Thank You to these groups who make the Nature Park possible! I Love This!!!! As we were leaving, I was thrille...

This is the month.  October is a special month for me and my heart and mind is remembering meeting my birth dad and family for the very first time.  I think I should write a book called...My Two Dads.  That could bring some interesting discussion.  Anyway...  It is all part of being me and using all that God has given me to reach out to others.  I'll give a little background. She was sixteen and very lonely yet independent girl.  She had to be.  Her Dad was alcoholic and gone and her Mom was an alcoholic and gone.  Her sister and her.  That was it.   She kinda liked this guy-roughneck as he says.  All my Mom said growing up was that he was quiet, didn't like to dance and nice to everyone.  SHE NEVER SAID A BAD THING ABOUT HIM! He left for the draft and she moved.  That was that.  Until 9 months later.  When...ta da...I was born.  At that point he was in Vietnam.  They both tried.   She...

AS IS I am AS IS. I am all that I have been, am and will be. AS IS. I've had opportunities to share from my heart this week for families and children.  And...I'm humbled.   The empathy and perspective sowed in my life by heart ache, failure, inadequacy, exhaustion, poverty, rejection, brokenness held together by God....laid bare on the table.  As IS. People just don't know what to do with me.  I don't fit neatly in a mold! That mold has been broken and put back together over and over again.  AS IS.  All God wants us to be is...As Is.   In His capable hands.