This is the month. October is a special month for me and my heart and mind is remembering meeting my birth dad and family for the very first time. I think I should write a book called...My Two Dads. That could bring some interesting discussion. Anyway... It is all part of being me and using all that God has given me to reach out to others. I'll give a little background.
She was sixteen and very lonely yet independent girl. She had to be. Her Dad was alcoholic and gone and her Mom was an alcoholic and gone. Her sister and her. That was it. She kinda liked this guy-roughneck as he says. All my Mom said growing up was that he was quiet, didn't like to dance and nice to everyone. SHE NEVER SAID A BAD THING ABOUT HIM!
He left for the draft and she moved. That was that. Until 9 months later. When...ta da...I was born. At that point he was in Vietnam. They both tried. She tried to send word. He tried to find out. He worried.
She fell in love with a cowboy and became a ranch girl thus so did I. On October 30th I was adopted and began getting sisters. I LOVE my sisters!!!! I grew up wild and free and working hard now that I look back.
Forward to about 41/2 years ago. My sons had asked more questions of my Mom regarding their Grandpa. She said, "They need to know him and he should get to know them." She called again to an extended family member and then talked to my Grandma and Dad's Mom. Then she called me and gave me the Grandma's phone number and put the ball squarely in my hands.
I instantly plunged into a tsunami of emotion that came out of nowhere! I called the Grandma and asked for pictures. I just wanted to know what he looked like. And some health information. And if I had siblings. That was it.
Then the picture of him in uniform and him with his family came in the mail and I was paralyzed...almost literally for a few days. In this here but not here mode. He was my Dad. I saw my boys. I carried the picture around hoping that maybe people would say...I don't think you have any resemblence but that didn't happen.
I scanned and emailed Mom the pictures and yep that was him. I asked her very direct questions about...are you sure? Were there others?
The Grandma had given me Dad's number and I shared with her my address. Soon in the mail came a letter from one of my sisters. I had two MORE which I was most excited about. In it she told me about this Dad and about their family and how he had told them about me. She gave me her phone number. So on October 26th I called her and it was beyond bizzare. We just clicked. She gave me my other sisters number and email and soon I had two more sisters and a niece!
So I called him. He had just driven with his wife (who is amazing) to Arizona from North Dakota. I cannot put into words what happened inside of me when I heard his voice and his amazing laugh for the first time. On speaker phone talking with him and this wonderful lady.
I absolutely fell in love with them. We began sharing pictures and information. I scanned loads of pictures of David, my boys and big events of my life. Riding my horse. My wedding.
They left everything including job to drive back up and meet me and my family. I'll never forget.
David said, "I think they are here." I ran in the kitchen and hid. I began to hyperventilate and wanted to run out the back door and hide. I asked what they looked like and for them to get the door.
David came in with that all knowing look and said, "you have to open the door." That was profound in so many ways. Since no one would rescue me and my boys having my back...I opened the door to this amazing man (in the green shirt and his wife) to my house, to my family and to my heart. The dogs loved him. David liked him. The boys liked them.
After visiting a while my middle son came in with his best friend and they met them. We drove the boys to their dance and went out to eat and it just felt like they had always been there.
No one can understand the depth of connection that can happen almost instantaneously...unless you've been there. Sometimes it goes well for people and sometimes not so much. But at least you know.
For me....It was love at first sight! Or feel. An intuitive sense of family and peace and belonging.
Last year I showed them where I went to school and grew up and went to church and I took them to to meet my Mom and Dad I grew up with. It was so surreal to me and I honestly just felt in a fog as my birth Dad shook my adoptive Dad's hand and thanked him. As they met each other and Liked each other.
An absolute earthquake in my heart and resettling of my world. And it is an amazing world.
Healing and a great sense of wholeness.
I met the man that had always been in my heart and mind.
I owe so much to my Mom and to these men in my life I call Dad.
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