Ideas For Us Who Are Raw

Tragedy, loss and heartache has hit.

For some of us these things hit very close to home.  We might already be raw from our loss or grieving.  For a few, this grief unearths another layer of infected wounds that has to be dealt with. My friends with anxiety or depression or unresolved loss...are raw already.

Each of us process and walk through grief in our way and our own time.  I want to rip off the scab and jump right in the middle of it.  My husband has to hold his and turn it in his hands over and over until he can let it go.

Grief is a natural process that God has created for us I believe.  Denying it or hiding it or ignoring it will never help.  It is exhausting and draining and totally takes us off balance.

Off balance is a great place to be no matter how uncomfortable or dizzy it makes us.  This is where we reach out and find God's hand waiting for us.

Even in our grief, we are responsible for ourselves.

My simple and practical advice:

Know your own tendencies and get ahead of them!!!! 

 My tendency is to eat and to cling to my boys and worry incessantly.  None of which is helpful to anyone.  When tragedy hits, I become more hyper-vigilant and annoying to my family and friends.

Know your own needs and know what works for you in times like these...AND DO THEM!

 I need sleep, quiet, nature, His Word and reflection.  

So instead of pushing these needs aside, I'm going to intentionally do them today.  I'm going to tell my family I love them.  Spend time with my church family.  Take a nap.  Read Psalms and walk with Oreo.

When you feel like crying, go cry. 

I'm a private griever so when I feel like crying and it is appropriate, I go for a drive or to the church or my bed and I cry.  Sometimes it is hard to cry.  Usually when I begin to pray and tell God about it, I cry.  Sometimes with a cry that would freak people out or that surprises me with intensity.  Sometimes I feel like crying and I can't.  That's o.k. too.  I write about it.  

Do Something.

Don't just stay away or stay crying.  When I was going through an intense time of grieving and healing I could have stayed in that forever so I set the timer.  Seriously, the oven timer.  I gave myself time to cry and feel really sorry for myself.  When the timer went off- I went and did something.  Something small- take something to the garage or clean a window!

Don't Do Something. 

I'm learning that just because I feel like I have to do something or help sort things out.  It is not always what I should do.  I want to coordinate, facilitate or fix...usually none of which is my business.

I'm learning that God wants me available and not running around like a chicken with it's head gone.

Don't Hold Your Breath. 

Intentionally breathe.  I call it four by four.  Breathe in to the count of four, hold it to the count of four, let it out to the count of four and do this four times.


 Trust.

God is who He says He is and Will Do What He Says He Will Do!  He has the answers and He will never leave us nor forsake us.