Skip to main content

Walking Back From my Dream To Get There


As you can tell, I'm in that stage of life.

You know the one.  Transition...AGAIN.  With transition comes reflection and contemplation and dreaming.  O.k. nevermind....this is just life and it is a transition from birth to death!

Since we are only human and can only see and know in part we struggle and need a constant reality check.  This is mine regarding the dreams of my heart.
  -->
Working Through a dream

Dreams are not simple objects to tie down into concrete, well defined boxes.
Dreams are not static.

A dream is rather a kaleidoscope of dynamic growing, moving and changing pieces.
Branches reaching continually to the sky and roots intertwining through the ground.
Bumping up against life and reality or a hard spot in the ground...they flex around it and continue reaching for the sky.

Right now I’m in the disequilibrium that only growth can bring.

Planting diverse crops.
Growing
Bending
Prioritizing
Pruning.
Reflecting.

A wild attempt to push through the today’s to dos while moving forward into tomorrow's dream.

And so I Begin with the end in mind…

I walk back from my dream in order to get there.

Death is the ultimate ending.
The final goal. 
An eternal rest, hope and reward.

I will know I have arrived when I meet Jesus face to face.

And yet...
How would I live today with the picture of seeing Jesus firmly planted within my mind’s eye? 
How little the mundane and routine pieces of my life’s puzzle seem in light of His glory.

And yet- here I am…in today
My family and my calling and my work

I am placed on earth until my death to Be.
To be in relationship with God and others.
To be moving closer to that which I want.
To seek.
To provide for my family as I am called to do. 
To leave behind a legacy.  Compost for my children to plant and grow in.

Work is for my family.
So I can see them doing what God has called them to do.
So I can see them and visit them and laugh and build memories with them

But work is also doing
Paying the dues of today
Questions for Today as I journey back from my dream.
How do I do what I dream of doing when the bills roll through like a giant snowball sucking up every resource and ounce of energy?

Who do I trust in to get to the dream?

If it is God’s calling and dream He planted within me then how do I surrender and let go to Him?

What is for now?  What will I wish my future me in 10 years told my now me?

My kids will be 32,30 and 26 in 10 years.  My husband will be 58 and I will be 53.  I will have daughter in laws and Grand children.  My parents will be old and my sisters that much further away. 

What will I have then from what I do/who I am today?

The sowing into my health, relationships and learning.

Only then can I harvest a dream.


I need to plant health spiritually, physically, relationally and financially and mentally.
I need to invest in open and loving relationships
I need to pursue and chase wisdom.

However, I cannot do it all.  Finish my license and begin my Graduate program.  Reach my neighbors and the world.  Love and be present to my family and my church...

 and be chasing a dream.

My Dream is Today.

To be present.  To walk.  To learn.  To grow.  To plant.

To think of Jesus walking unhurriedly from place to place.  Healing a woman, listening, feeding the crowds and disciplining the followers.   All from a whole heart.

Lord help me live my Dream today!



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Starting a Journey

September 3, 2010 Originally posted How to Begin a Journey 1. Pick a destination or simply start. 2. Plan a detailed itinerary or just take the first step. 3. Pack everything or travel lightly. I am choosing to just begin. To leave behind the baggage, pick up a day pack, and go. Several nights before we moved to Ogallala, I was praying about the transition when I heard that still, small voice of God. In that moment, I knew He heard my Heart's Cry. He hears every whispered plea, every unspoken longing. If I truly sit with that truth, it humbles me. What courage, boldness, passion, and decisiveness I have when I remember: He never leaves or forsakes me. He provides for my every need according to His riches in glory. My hope is to encourage you He hears your Heart's Cry too.
2 comments
Read more

1940 Canned Apple Butter: Family Root Cellar

I loved exploration as a child.  From opening the door and going down the stairs to get something from my Grandma's root cellar or exploring old homesteads while checking cows.  I credit my Mom with teaching us to appreciate those things that represented the people who had gone before us. When I moved with my husband and boys to a house on the family ranch-I began exploring immediately.  This was the house my Aunt and Uncle lived in during my childhood.  My Grandparents had lived there and many other families dating back to 1900 when it was built.   With two little boys in tow, I made my way to the root cellar and found a treasure cove.  Old text books belonging to the original family who had been a teacher, the original medicine cupboard, tools, trash and memorabilia.   I felt like an archeologist sifting through layers of debris representing generations and culture.  And I was.  I hauled truckloads of trash to the dump (some...
4 comments
Read more

Diabetes-Opened to Disease OR Open to Connecting to my Strengths

I've tried living in denial for two years after the big D diagnoses was handed over.  Honestly, I just don't want to talk about it.  Outwardly seemly calm and disconnected from it.  Inwardly terrified. As a plant that is stressed is open to disease, injury and death so to our bodies are.  I opened myself up to this.  Stress, lack of sleep, bad nutrition, overweight and lack of exercise.  For some reason I believed that if I ran fast enough and worked hard enough, I would outrun my family genes.  The tiny room in the back of my brain locked with a key has kept the fear of this disease at bay even though I could hear its screaming when life quieted down. My Aunt died piece by piece to this disease.  First a heart attack and quadruple by-pass.  Then a toe.  Next a foot.  Legs came next along with more heart attacks.  Kidneys shutting down.  She died very young. When I was little, my Aunt Ally gave herself s...
4 comments
Read more