HEART'S CRY

My Mother is a storyteller.  It was annoying.  Here is where Great Grandma so and so homesteaded.   Do you see that hill, that used to be...  Family stories.   Ranch community stories. I didn't listen very well.  In fact I am ashamed to admit that I listen with one ear and ignore her with the other.  I'm sure I've heard that same story over and over again.  Little did I know the wisdom of her telling.   The braiding of stories into the fabric of my life.  The stories are embedded in the very essence of who I am.  A backdrop.  Foundational. This person mailed me a letter when I found out I was pregnant and congratulated me. This person took me hunting with the guys as a child.  That person taught me how to sew.  A neighbor taught me how to garden and preserve and cook.  Aunt Ally led me to the Lord and mentored me.  Uncle Deb is one of these people.  Delbert to everyone ...

Teaching "Circle of Security" for the first time tonight.  Very excited to share this very important curriculum that is more about the transformation of relationships than learning more information. And who doesn't need relationship? Dr. Perry states, "every child in America faces relationship poverty."  In fact, he teaches that our brains are hardwired for relationships.  We are meant to grow and learn within the context of relationship.   Secure relationships.  We crave it.   No matter how old we get...we need relationships! Little changes and small steps can make all the difference in the world.  In fact, eating together while sharing conversation goes a long way.  Tucking our children in.  Saying Good-bye to our spouse with a hug ever day.   Little steps.  Big Differences! Walking Full circle.  Again and again and again.

Unsettled and vulnerable.  Yep, that about sums it all up.  I've been riddled with doubt and insecurity lately.  Usually that surfaces as worry for money, worry for family and worry for my future.  My usual "go to" seems to be sabatoge.  You know the kind.  Eating too much.  Procrastinating toooo much.  I am a pro at tripping myself up. What is going on? A friend sent me an email from "Walk the Talk Company," that she is subscribed to.  This author describes growth within the picture of a tree.  And if you know me at, the tree is my symbol of what I hope to be. Growth is vulnerability.  It is stretching, restructuring, pinching, pruning and painful.  Her email helped me in several ways: 1.  I'm not alone.  God knows. 2.  It's a good thing. 3.  I need to suck it up...and GROW!

My adult life has centered around developing groups for various purposes.  Leadership teams or groups for the purpose of accomplishing a task.  Short term groups.  Groups.  Some have been healthy and some...not so much.  Those that are healthy are ones that begin knowing the purpose for being. Last year, I met with a few ladies whom I respect the most in my town.   I thought I was being selfish.  I've realized I was being responsible.  Taking responsibility for my own life, growth and future. I love this group.  Women who have integrity and who are hard working.  Women who are direct, honest and truthful.  Women who love passionately and want to serve God, family and community.  Women who study, dig and challenge.  Women of confidentiality and trust.  Finally, they are leaders and women who want to grow in authenticity! Together, we developed our group.  It has become a sisterhood.  W...

Dishes, laundry, work, reading...oh my!  Event, activity, to do's....GOOD GRIEF!  My to do list looks like an ocean.  The urgent and the shoulda, coulda and woulda's suck the energy right out of me.  So who is in control of my life anyway?  Who decides for me how and when to spend my time?  Who directs my paths?  God?  Me?  Others? My life works best when my priorities are in order.  My life moves forward when I decide what is important and what is my responsibility and then act on those things.  I tend to be "driven about" by others' expectations and my own innate ability to be side tracked!  So the question...To Be or Not To Be needs answered. THE FIVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO TODAY TO MOVE MY LIFE FORWARD: 1.  Read the Bible 2.  Sleep 8 hours a night 3.  Excercise 30 minutes and eat my veggies and fruits. 4.  Pray and Be Still 5.  Be WITH and BE Available to my family! These are my non-ne...

I feel today, a twinge of what it must feel, during those last stages of labor.   O.k. so I've never had labor or gone through that experience.  But I think I can just imagine.  The exhaustion and determination.  The unthinkable, un-doable and the doing.   We can't imagine what it will be like... then again, we don't want to.   Terror.  Relief.  Emotional.  Ecstatic.  This morning, I feel like this.  On the verge of labor.  Very burdened and pregnant.  Exhausted and having to pee all the time.   (O.k the last part has nothing to do with it.) Instead of a nine month pregnancy and labor-its a lifetime.    Conceiving.  Growing and developing.  Delivering.  Bearing all over again. I'm in the last month.  On the verge.  About to go over the cliff in so many areas of my life.   Wanting so much for the three boys in ...