HEART'S CRY

I'm wondering a few things and would love to have a discussion with you!   Is fear prevalent because of selfishness and self-preservation?  Do I slip in to self-doubt when I feel my back is against the wall? Is defensiveness simply a control mechanism? If I was completely sure in my relationship with God and that HE has my back, would I ever allow those doubting statements of others impact me? Do I believe that our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against principalities and evil?  If so, why do I allow others opinion of me have any say in my life? Having my motives questioned and being misunderstood is one of the most painful things for me.  I want to convince others of my intentions and feel I have to defend myself. It is at this exact moment, when Satan jumps at his opportunity to twist me into knots. It is as if he lies in wait with a trap in place.  He has no power in my life, until I give it to him.  Which...

I know a few people who are exhausted in mind, body and heart and am praying God's perfect rest for them...and for you...and for us all!  A hearts rest!     God does not say, "Get yourself together," and then come to me.  He does not condemn us when we come to him exhausted, afraid, scared, vulnerable, needy or angry.      He does not fill our worlds with should's and ought'as and guilt and condemnation. He came to give us the perfect peace and the perfect rest.   We may not be able to go on a retreat or an expensive vacation.  We may not be able to take a physical respite from children, work, responsibilities and life.   I know, He will provide rest for our heart. He is perfect rest. Rest found in Him.  He will pull us in to HIS everlasting arms and put our head on His shoulder.   He will meet all of our needs according to His riches in glory.   He will lift the heavy toils and b...

If being broken and poured out isn't a path you are prepared to take, then loving children unconditionally is not for you. Coming back from seven amazing days of 24/7 time with children and staff has left me exhausted and revitalized.  Hopeful and thoughtful. The fire pit heard  my heart's cry in the night.  I lived at the end of everything about myself.  Physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally at the end.  As I poured my heart out to God for the kids and about the frustrations, He touched me.   I confessed missteps, pride and any defensiveness...He forgave me. I told Him, "What were you thinking?  Did I not hear your calling to Direct this camp?"  I went on to point out all of my deficiencies.   He touched me. I felt Him as peace settled.   He reminded me of the verse I have clung to for our Royal Family Kids Camp, "I have gone on before and I will bring up the rear."  He has my back....

Uncle Bubby passed away today.   You don't know him.  Honestly, I don't know him very well anymore.  He was Uncle Bubby. Uncle Bubby was my Mom's youngest brother.  This is the second sibling she has lost too early.   I was born to a young Mom and when we lived with my Grandma, my Uncle Bubby was there too.  He was loud and taught me "hut, hut, hike" which were my first ever words.  And he bought me my first football helmet and uniform.  Broncos, of course.  My Uncle was a gigantic Broncos fan and yet never could afford to go to a game.  He was covered with tatoos until he was able to have the gang tats covered quite some time after becoming a believer.  I have heard the stories.  (Over and over again.) He was there when I was born.  He took my Mom to the hospital.  Standing guard at the nursery window.  Or the story when I was riding with him and he had to stop quickly and I hi...

When I was young, I  thought the "being swallowed by a big whale" was the punishment for Jonah's disobedience.     Haha... what a time out! When I learned, however the fish was act of love and sent by God to rescue Jonah, I was disturbed. How many things, people, problems and events do I consider my punishment, when in all reality...they are an act of love sent by God? A tough truth to swallow. When my kids are struggling, I want it fixed.  Now.  I want someone, somewhere and somehow to help them and fix it.  I want to fix it.  My heart wants to make the pain go away.  Take away the problems and the chaos and the uncertainty.    Truthfully, they have a choice to obey or not obey.  Just like I do.  Just like you do.   God is trying to provide for them.  Provide a way back to His presence.  Just as He does for me.  Daily.  Today, I shut the door, the ...

Oh God My heart longs for a touch A touch of your gentle hand As life is just sometimes way too much Draw your hand lightly across my brow Lift my feet from the daily miry clay My hands, help them never leave the plow Keep my heart courageous in the melee My weary soul remains relentless Your keeping hand preserves me from harm Drinking deeply your word caresses Abiding and enduring within your open arms For you, are a staying God A remaining and enduring Father My constant accurate measuring rod Everything from you I only need gather

Storms are a part of every aspect of our lives.   Storms can be terrifying, bewildering, exhausting and confusing.    We lose our bearings. Sometimes, God calms the storms and sometimes He goes through them with us.   Every now and then, I wonder if He sends or allows the storms because He loves us and wants us near His presence.  Being and doing what we are called to do. At the point of the storm we can jump into something "ready" for us to escape or we can return to God. The story of Jonah's running away from God's presence and the storm that brought him back gives me comfort and peace. We each have a choice to run and hide or jump in to God's presence and to His will for our lives.   To throw ourselves off our safety nets and into God's perfect storm!!!!!!!! God told Jonah to go and share a word with the people of Ninevah, because they were a mess.  BUT Jonah ran away from God's presence....

“The Bible was not given for our information but for our transformation.”― D.L. Moody  Information is just that.  Facts.  Bits of data.  Sequences and input.  I see information as something I bring in through my senses and something I learn.   Transformation is, according to Merriam-Webster is a " complete or major change. An act, process, or instance of transforming or being transformed.   The operation of changing (as by rotation or mapping) one configuration or expression into another in accordance with a mathematical rule; especially :   a change of variables or coordinates in which a function of new variables or coordinates is substituted for each original variable or coordinate .  The formula that effects a transformation. " It's simple.   I need transformed daily.   I need a transformed heart and not a informed heart.  Every one of us goes through times of self-doubt, ...

One of our expectations for our RFKC this summer and the expectation we have had for our boys and ourselves.   Be Courageous!   BE COURAGEOUS! Not a typical rule in our culture.  We need men and women of courage.  To lead families, churches and communities.  To stand up for what is wrong.  To put themselves aside.  To take a stand.  To step up and put it all on the line; for our family and for our church. My husband and I are looking at some tough choices.  It will take great courage!  And...I have to admit, I'm scared to death.  It makes no sense.  We don't know the time, but we know we will. We believe God has asked us to step up.    To BE Courageous! These verses are our orders and our comfort.   They can be yours as well.   Do you need to be courageous? Courageous for you own life.  Courageous for your family.   Courageous fo...

Pushing myself through some summer reads!  The first is to finish is, "The Circle of Security Intervention, Enhancing Attachment in Early Parent-Child Relationships."  This book and the Circle of Security Parenting program were written and developed by Bert Powell, Glen Cooper, Kent Hoffman, and Bob Marvin. Being pragmatic, the practical model based on reflection and "being real," with each other is so important.   This concept of self-sufficiency not being a sign of emotional strength is profound to me.   Intuitively, I get it.  How to put words to it is another matter entirely. The authors state, "Genuine autonomy is achieved from within a secure attachment.  Self-sufficiency is not a sign of emotional strength or psychological health, or even a genuine option.   The core of human consciousness is the potential for rapport of the self with another mind. 'The infant experiences being experienced" (Beebe). ...