These voices in my head are entrenched. Those connections and neural pathways created in my mind as a little girl are still strong enough to step back in as my default message if I'm not intentionally aware of it.
Physical and spiritual forces attack when my guard is most down. When I'm tired, vulnerable and feeling insecure.
When my focus is askew.
Before I know it, I'm up in the middle of the night with these embarrassingly self-absorbed crazy voices in my head. Loud and disruptive.
"Who am I to share my story? ...to help? ... to lead?"
"You are a failure and don't have what it takes to do this job."
"You annoy people. You overwhelm people."
"You should be further along."
"You are too out there and say what you think."
"Who do you think you are?"
"You can't do it."
"You are weak and not strong enough mentally,emotionally and physically."
If I am not careful to immediately take these thoughts and make them captive to the truth, they converge in my mind and flow to my heart until I am sick. I'm back on my heels.
W.H. Murray states, "the answer is that growth may be given to the spiritual faculty as simply as growth and health are given to the body by awakening it from slumber, and providing nourishment and then by giving it exercise. In this work there is no static position: one goes on, or one drops back. Therefore, and above all-persist." (Murray, W.H. P. 10) W.H. Murray was a mountaineer, philosopher, prisoner of war and conservationist.
Romans states in 12:1-2, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Taking myself firmly by the shoulders, I get a grip on my life.
"I serve authentically and honestly and real."
"I have high energy from the passion of my calling."
"I am right where I need to be!"
"I deliberately renew my mind day by day."
"I'm a life long learner and intentionally seek wisdom."
"I have a unique perspective and expertise based on experience."
"I have all the energy I need to accomplish my goals, have adventure and impact others."
"Let your mind become a lens, thanks to the converging rays of attention; let your soul be all intent on whatever it is, that is established in your mind as a dominant, wholly absorbing ideas."
(Anfonin-Dalmace Sertillanges P. 32)
Comments
Post a Comment