HEART'S CRY

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadodw of death a light has dawned."  Isaiah 9:2 We lost a beautiful little nine year old girl in our community this week and we are all grieving whether we knew her or not.  I was blessed to have known her.  As I stood with the family waiting for the helicopter to come and life flight her...I knew the Peace that only God can give when things feel so dark. Yesterday, my husband drove to be with his Dad while his Mom is in emergency surgery.  She has some very complicated health issues that just seem to be compounding.  Now we just wait and pray.   She is one of the strongest and most amazing women in my life.  She is such a rock.  My heart breaks for her and for my father-in-law, my husband, sister and brother and for my boys who adore their Grandma. Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress!  A l...

 I love Christmas lights!  I love when all of the lights are off and the tree is lit or we drive around town late at night to look at the lights.   Such a happiness in Christmas lights.  It is as if the joy of children and the magic of Christmas is all wrapped into those little lights.  Even without presents those lights bring joy! Today, I'm thinking of those I know and love and those that I've never met who are going through distress and gloom and dark times.   The dark seems to be closing in and threatening to shut them off.  And yet... There is a perfect light that brings peace. Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. Isaiah 9:1 Many people need a nevertheless today.  The nevertheless that only the perfect light of Jesus can bring.  The nevertheless that is the real deal.   Jesus is the true nevertheless and perfect lights for Christmas. The neverthel...

Have you noticed how shallow and made up our world can be?  Cover girl, faux finishes, cliff notes, plastic and tweets abound. Vulnerability, courage, character and hard work is too time consuming.  Relationships tend to happen during commercials and bathroom breaks and waiting lines. Easy come and easy go.  Safe and sanitized. Spending a life to get two minutes of fame or a plastic award or shiny medal.  Shoving children in the spotlight hoping for a shot at fame and fortune.   Or at least a chance on the annual Christmas letter. Lessons, clubs and photo ops take up all of our time. (I'm not against all of these things in themselves.) What drives us to protecting from failure?  When did struggle and risk become entwined with failure? It reminds me of when I was a young girl and did horse 4-H.  Parents would buy very expensive and highly trained horses and then hire highly paid trainers for the kids plus the coaches to keep ...

Have you noticed that these two words just go together so naturally?  Why?  Why is it that Mothers have the annoying knack down to an art? I didn't think that I would have it...until I had teenagers.   Now I know that I am the most gifted in annoying kids. So the things that are mine to take responsitibiliy for in the annoying process...I'll take.  I got it.  Try as I might to shut my mouth... This is what I get. -Talking when I'm nervous. -Trying to "facilitate" discussions. -Mothering. -Asking too many questions. -Sharing too much information.  -Being nosey. However, some of the annoying things I do....are just because of who I am and I'm O.K. with it.  Because when I die my boys will never question whether or not I love them.  They will know that I cared deeply and that my life was about them.  They will know the truth and know they are prayed for.   Sometimes I'm annoying because I know them so well an...

Today is the day to be thankful for sisters.  God in His infinite wisdom and knowledge put together a family for each of us. With only the creativity at His disposal-He designed my beautiful family.  How else can I say today that I'm the thankful and proud oldest sister of seven strong and passionate women. My husband and brothers (in-laws) might say it more like this...opinionated, stubborn, strong willed, bull headed, tenacious and driven women.  I call it...Blessed!   Really.  I'm not lying.  I truly am blessed to know each of them and to have them in my lives.  They mean the world to me and I admire them all. Five sisters had to put up with me as the bossy and mothering big sister.  Two sisters lucked out that it was later that I began annoying them! I am thinking about each of them now as I write this and holding them in my minds eye.  This would be a book and not a blog if I wrote what I feel.  Needless to s...

I'm a very blessed Mom!  I Praise God every day for the privilege of having these  three young men in my life.  Each of them carry a piece of my heart with them wherever they go.  I hope they know how truly loved and treasured they are.  I'm as amazed and in "ah" as I was when they brought them to me when they were born.  I'm thankful for the honor of raising my boys. When they were born I prayed and prayed for God to protect them from all of our stupidity and immaturity.  That God would teach us and teach them.  That He would direct their paths and make them straight.  My heart would be laid bare with pain and desire for them and their future. We have made and will  make so many mistakes.   Although we tried, I know that our boys ended up having to deal with some of our own hang ups.  Some things I hope they have learned by our example include: The ability to apologize and change. God's mercy and grace an...

Today, I am thankful for an employment opportunity where I am surrounded with strong women who challenge, correct, stretch and encourage me.  I Praise God to have the privilege of working with people that I respect and I trust.   More importantly, I'm so thankful for a team who respects me enough to call me on my stupidity while continuing to stand shoulder to shoulder with me.    To have people in my life who do not let things sli de or stay on the plateau of status quo.   Today I'm thankful for every job , boss, co-worker that I have ever had.  For their investment.  For the good and the bad.  The tough and the easy.  The hurt and the accomplishment.  They have modeled and taught and challenged me to grow in ways I did not think possible. Today I am also completely humbled and thankful for the families who have taught me abou t life and the huge capacity of a family to overcome!   I've lea...

Thankfulness is a discipline.  A way of thinking.  A way of living. A choice. I choose to live thankfulness or I choose to wallow in self-pity and pout. Becoming a thankful person is hard work.  It is not for the feint of heart.  It is a battle.  It is creating muscle memory in our brain and our soul!  Part of the character muscle. Thankful people are more positive and contagious.  Thankful people walk with a different spirit of humbleness and authenticity.  I have a few ideas to help us all become more thankful! 1.  Memorize scripture .     Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. Hebrews 12:28 Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ...

Today as I sit thinking about my life and all that I have to be thankful for...I am amazed.  Tis truly the season to be thankful.  A season of thankfulness.   Have you taken time lately to set aside a season of thankfulness and rest?  A time to do a happy dance as my friend says.  A time of reflection and meditation and gratitude? Resting from production and worry and work for just one day.  To set aside today as a season of thankfulness and rest.   For meandering thoughts of praise and hope.  For a day of following and not leading.  A day of being and not doing.  A day of celebrating hope.  A day of rest. Rest... Just for a moment For just long enough To know Rest... Cease striving Resist trying To Be still Rest... Deeply Within the soul and heart To Be Rest... To allow thankfulness like oxygen To count blessings To  Breathe

Friends, family and co-workers are asking me, "What is your thing with drawing trees and roots lately?"  If I'm doodling-which I do all the time-it involves a tree. These trees are an i ntimate picture of my prayer to God.   A beautiful oak tree stood outside the window of one of the places we lived in when we had our babies.  Everyday I would stand at the window in the early morning or sit under it watching the boys play in the afternoon and pray that God would make me that oak.   That my roots would go down deep and that I would be a consistent and contented Mom. Because I felt like a little shaking transplant holding on for dear life.  My bark was torn and scarred, my leaves were dry and curled and the branches were in odd formations.  I was bent and broken and wou nded.   I had little boys standing at the trunk and I just prayed and prayed that I would be strong enough. I began to pray Psalms 1 that I would be like...

Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to build a tradition for your family!  Tradition is the transmitting of values, customs, beliefs, memories and history.   It's the pipe line from the past to the future carrying the rich strands of heritage.  Intentionally building this pipe line into the hearts and minds of children is a great calling. I read a book once that talked about Jewish culture giving dates and figs to children after a learning opportunity in the villages or homes....to help them remember the important things.  What a wise custom, I thought. Beliefs and values are so abstract for kids and even for adults that having traditions as a vehicle for teaching these beliefs is critical. When my Mom made us have mustard sardines every Thanksgiving Eve and share the story of her sister and her eating them because they didn't have anything else and sardines were something they had never tasted...it impacted us.  It was disgusting.  But...

My Mom. My Mom is an amazing woman.  I have never met anyone like her in the "few decades" I've been alive.    She would tell you that she is far from perfect, and while that may be true, she is perfect for us. My Mom is a Mom of all the seasons ...of the year and of my life. Thanksgiving is one of her favorite holidays so wanted to honor her this time of year and tell God Thank you for my Mom.  I'll attempt to tell the story in pictures. To my Mom...life is a celebration.  A great time for balloons, flowers, kites and kids. She was a geni us before her time and seemed to intuitively know that traditions and creating mo ments and memories make a family great!   Quilts are one of her favorite things.  She treasures the old quilts and quilt pieces passed down from family and friends.  Her dream is to have a sewing room and create history.  As I understand it, quilts remind her of her life.  A way to piec...

My Mom told me that she heard someone say that parenting is a continual letting go of the rope and yet not letting go. I use to long-line horses.  It was a method of training where they would go out to the end of a rope and wait for my command to walk or trot or run.  If the horses were not being nice or obeying when my boys would saddle or ride...we would put them on the long line and tell them to run. I thought it was just a fun way to ground train.  God designed it for me. Once in a fit of pity and anger I learned this. Like an exhausted two year old who is just having a meltdown and is unsure if they want picked up and held or put down and left alone.  Definitely do not want to do what they are supposed to be doing. I looked like that.  It was as if at that time, God opened a curtain in my mind and let me see the picture of me long lining a horse.    I was saying to the horse, "If you want to do your own thing then go...run it out....

Have you noticed that those in your life that you love the most or respect the most tend to also be the ones who try to talk you out of your dream? Dreams are threatening to others.  Having a burning passion for life and work is just so weird.    Pushing for change is just completely atrocious!!!!!   The audacity of it all confounds the status quo. Can you imagine the brass ?  Who are you to question?  To think about that?  And to TALK about it? Is this your place?  Have you stepped out of bounds?   Are you daring to step outside the role that others have defined and drew and colored in for you? You are not coloring within the lines!!!!!  How dare you make that tree purple instead of green?   Don't you know you silly girl that trees are always green and staying within the lines makes people happy?  People feel anxious when you color outside the lines.  It is just not no...

So the elections are over.   People are either celebrating or licking their wounds.  Meanwhile, in the real world... life goes on. Big issues surround us.  Daily, people face obstacles in their life that seem unbearable.  The weather and disasters are out of my control.  It is all way to big for me to solve.  I can be thankful and take responsibility for what is right in front of me. So this morning I leave my red rocking chair where I write, to look out my front door.  I love this door with its beautiful large glass window facing the south.  Sunrises, sunsets and sunshine floods my living room through this window.  Stepping out of my front door, I am standing on a cement porch facing south.  My attempt at decorating includes an olden wooden gate and two chicken feeders that held annuals all summer. I live on a lane that curves north a few houses from mine.  Houses are placed along the line in a way that reminds ...