Dumping Toxic Weight via "The Charge"

Reading Brendon Burchard's book, "The Charge," has been a painful endeavor.  While I highly recommend the book, it is  challenging to reflect on these ten human drives.

I have to admit...I skipped "quite a bit."   The Audiobook gave me a second chance.   Brendon Burchard "hooked me" with the brain research integrated throughout the chapters. 

The Drive for Control is an amazing chapter.  Focusing on our outlook and our character.  Directing our focus and effort.  Being aware of how important it is to maintain a "sane and positive perspective about the world, its important to better guard the information you consume."  

He continues,  "all that information you are consuming consciously and unconsciously is creating undue stress and unease in your life, and to a degree you probably don't understand.  For every bit of data that comes into your life, you brain attaches meaning and emotion to it.  This means that information is actually quite "heavy," and the more information coming into your life, the more weight is loading you down." P. 41

Then he says, "the same applies to the energy and esteem vampires in your life.  You know-those who are constantly berating you with judgment and criticism, making you feel terrible about yourself.  Decreasing your exposure to toxic people is just as important as decreasing your exposure to negative media." P. 41

So who exactly are toxic people?  What makes "them" toxic?

The Bible gives many verses on the power of the tongue and attitude.  One of my favorite is Ezekiel 2:6. 

 And you, son of man, be not afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns are with you and you sit on scorpions. Be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house. 

A web search finds the following:

Top 15 Traits of a Toxic Person by Coach A.J. Mahariright


More often than not- negative
Thinks in a black and white inflexible all-good, all-bad kind of way
Needs to be and is very interested in being
Often present a “my way or the highway” no win situation in inter-personal dynamics
Need more than they usually ever have to give if they have much of anything to give
Chaotic emotional life – Lack of boundaries
Disrespect for your boundaries
Wanting to become instant friends/lovers/partner
Idealizing you – which can be very flattering, but watch out, there’s a down side
Passive-aggressive
Manipulative to Exploitative
Judgmental
Insatiable – no matter how much you give it is never enough, never lasts very long and/or can be outright denied and dismissed
Constantly needing attention, reassurance, validation
Very self-involved, self-absorbed - focused on own emotions, mood, needs, insecurities, and looking to you to help regulate how they feel.

Oh do I KNOW people like this.   

My mind began churning through the people in my life who exhibit these toxic traits.  Family, friends, co-workers, church family...  ME.

 I am brought up short:  Am I toxic? What on this list might describe me?

Constantly needing attention, reassurance and validation?  Yep.  I do this.  

Black and white?  Very.

Idealizing others?  Guilty.

I am judgmental and critical of those closest to me.

A further search includes:

Gossip

You get into arguments all the time

You pick fights over things you don't care about...

http://www.accidentalcomic.com/columns/toxicpeople.pdf

Shocked at how toxic I truly I am, I ask myself, "What are you going to do about it?"  

1.  Back to the Word. 1 Thess. 5

Rejoice Always.

Pray Continually.

Give Thanks in All Things.

2.  Back to my Accountability Group to be honest and vulnerable and seek guidance and prayer.

3.  Reflect.  Reflect. Reflect.