Skip to main content

A Meeting of My Mind



My heart is finding its way into my mind.  I have pictured my heart or the emotional  me as a wild untamed being.  

A wild place I love to see and terrified to embrace.  Fearful to release and longing to let it go.

Tentatively approaching my emotional pool as I did my first visit to a zoo.  

Reverently approaching the limit of the Lion's cage, until I found his eye.  Powerful.  The longing of a beast aching to be set free and to take back its life.  The sadness and hopelessness flooded me with sadness.  

A meeting.  A coming together.

Stress, trauma, abuse, decisions, choices, sin and life can fragment.  

We create areas within ourselves with paths to walk between.  This room is my outside room.  This one is my "when I'm stressed" room.  Soon a labyrinth is formed and deception of "this is normal" glazes over.

It is not normal.  We are supposed to feel, to care, to need and to struggle.  While other areas of our lives can be compartmentalized to some degree...our inner being cannot.  We were created to be whole.  Not double minded.

The process of moving the contents of these areas into one is messy and stressful.  It is as if 200 college dorm residents haul everything out of their rooms, and dump it in the commons area.  A mess.

The answer as I see it is...staying present.  Staying.  Staying with my God and not running down the haul to stash away a feeling or a thought or a mess.  Staying present.  Staying in the land God has called us to.  

Staying and trusting in Him.  In His ability to handle it all.  In His assurance and grace and provision and love.

He is the mender of hearts and minds and He will meet us right where we are.  In the midst of a mess.  In the midst of turmoil.  He is always ready for the meeting.  Our God meeting within the stillness of our mind and heart.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Starting a Journey

September 3, 2010 Originally posted How to Begin a Journey 1. Pick a destination or simply start. 2. Plan a detailed itinerary or just take the first step. 3. Pack everything or travel lightly. I am choosing to just begin. To leave behind the baggage, pick up a day pack, and go. Several nights before we moved to Ogallala, I was praying about the transition when I heard that still, small voice of God. In that moment, I knew He heard my Heart's Cry. He hears every whispered plea, every unspoken longing. If I truly sit with that truth, it humbles me. What courage, boldness, passion, and decisiveness I have when I remember: He never leaves or forsakes me. He provides for my every need according to His riches in glory. My hope is to encourage you He hears your Heart's Cry too.

1940 Canned Apple Butter: Family Root Cellar

I loved exploration as a child.  From opening the door and going down the stairs to get something from my Grandma's root cellar or exploring old homesteads while checking cows.  I credit my Mom with teaching us to appreciate those things that represented the people who had gone before us. When I moved with my husband and boys to a house on the family ranch-I began exploring immediately.  This was the house my Aunt and Uncle lived in during my childhood.  My Grandparents had lived there and many other families dating back to 1900 when it was built.   With two little boys in tow, I made my way to the root cellar and found a treasure cove.  Old text books belonging to the original family who had been a teacher, the original medicine cupboard, tools, trash and memorabilia.   I felt like an archeologist sifting through layers of debris representing generations and culture.  And I was.  I hauled truckloads of trash to the dump (some...

Diabetes-Opened to Disease OR Open to Connecting to my Strengths

I've tried living in denial for two years after the big D diagnoses was handed over.  Honestly, I just don't want to talk about it.  Outwardly seemly calm and disconnected from it.  Inwardly terrified. As a plant that is stressed is open to disease, injury and death so to our bodies are.  I opened myself up to this.  Stress, lack of sleep, bad nutrition, overweight and lack of exercise.  For some reason I believed that if I ran fast enough and worked hard enough, I would outrun my family genes.  The tiny room in the back of my brain locked with a key has kept the fear of this disease at bay even though I could hear its screaming when life quieted down. My Aunt died piece by piece to this disease.  First a heart attack and quadruple by-pass.  Then a toe.  Next a foot.  Legs came next along with more heart attacks.  Kidneys shutting down.  She died very young. When I was little, my Aunt Ally gave herself s...