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Win OR Learn, I am moving forward!


 My son mailed a book to me, filled with his highlighter, writing and musings.  The book, "Sometimes you Win, Sometimes you Learn," by John Maxwell is provocative and challenging. 

Being on a learning journey with my son, is priceless.  

I have been on a learning journey with him, his brothers and his Dad for 26 years.  Learning to observe, reflect and learn from those interactions and experiences has been my greatest joy.  

The most painful and profound lessons come from within relationships.  These are the relationships I wanted to succeed the most in.  To win.  

It was when (I still work on it!) I let go of the winning, I began to learn and grow together with my family.  Trying to win always seemed to involve losing and loads of guilt and shame. 

Learning to take a moment to stand back and reflect on these interactions is when I began to learn.  

What changed?  The focus.  Before, there was an end result I wanted to have.  Reaching that goal was all I had in mind.  My own expectations and not letting go of control would rupture a relationship.

To regain the relationship and restore it, I had to learn something new.  My focus changed to the relationship and reflecting on those interactions.  

This learning has dramatically changed my relationship with God as I understand and experience His constant drawing me near.  In fact, know He wants all of me has been the catalyst to letting go.

There is one relationship I did not apply this to.

Mine.  Sounds odd to say this and no I am not referring to a split personality.  Nor am I promoting a narcissistic "me" relationship.

Rather, I need to own myself and to truly bring all of me to Him.  

The relationship I tend to have with myself is one of shame, punishment and destruction.  It is a complete win or lose area.  It is at these times of "losing" or perhaps being a loser, I do not feel free to come to God, "just as I am."

I want to bring to Him, the trophy.  The me I've won over and is perfect.  It's the me who loses, I want to keep in the corner.  Or in the prison of isolation.

God is all about the learning.  Learning to BE with Him.  Learning in the winning and the failure.

So, win or learn...I am choosing to reflect on this relationship I have with the person in the mirror and help them BE with the God I adore! 









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