HEART'S CRY

I have a heart for the persecuted and for the martyr.   Movies like "Brave Heart" stir up a fire within me that makes me want to yell, "Freedom!"   To die for a cause and for a reason.   To live and die so that others will be able to say, "Wow, their life meant something."  People with fortitude and grit and dedication, even to death, inspire me.   Please know that I am not minimizing the martyr by any means. It is the boring, mundane and unsung life that frightens me.   What if my entire life consists of standing on the land that God called me to stand?  What if I'm only a wife and a mother?  What if I'm only a Pastor's wife or a teacher? What about the slow martyrs?  Those faithful and dedicated and unsung martyrs.  The faithful saints who sacrifice their health and life for the work they believe in?  Great and noble men and women who lay themselves on the altar.  This thoug...

This weekend we celebrated a "Celebration of Life" for my Mother-in-Law.  A coming together of family to honor her in the cemetery and lay her beside her Mother and her sister.   We know her soul and mind were freed from her body, the moment she passed away.  Having a time to recognize that is a very important step of healing and one we had waited seven months for.   Her wishes were to have her celebration in the summer to make sure the "boys" didn't miss a day of school on her behalf. She would have smiled and teared up if she could have seen her children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews sitting around a table laughing and sharing memories.   Then we had a party!  Pink tablecloths, her beautiful flower arrangements brought from home, fried chicken and cake and family and friends.  Sharing stories and listening to others tell theirs helped us all grasp the enormity of a legacy left by a littl...

  Surrender is a very dangerous activity.   Giving up control and agenda almost impossible.  Surrender during a time of vulnerability and stress is even more scary. And yet...when we do, surrender, the most amazing freedom and peace comes from being in His hands. To be still and Be with Him and know that He is God and we are not.  The holding on and letting go.  The surrender and the growing and the knowing.  Through it all, God can be trusted to be who He said He would be and do in our lives.  This is what life is all about.  Consider the following poem my husband read at his Mom's funeral yesterday: Birth is a beginning And death a destination But life is a journey A going-a growing From state to stage from childhood to maturity And youth to age. From innocence to awareness And ignorance to knowing; From fooolishness to discretion And then perhaps, to wisdom. From weakness to strength Or stren...

They get so sick of it; these independent young men of mine.  "Just touching base," I text them.  "I love you," is messaged.  "Thinking of you," and finally, "Call your MOM!" We are simply hardwired for connection and relationship.  I believe that God gave Moms and Grandmas an extra "connection" organ...just to keep us all together. This weekend, we go to celebrate the life of my Mother in Law and friend.  I miss her.  I miss her lectures and advice and her organizing.  Mostly, I miss her prayers and her voice and her sensitivity.  "Handle mail only once," she would say.   "Your parents need you to call them...just to touch base," she explained.   If I did not get the message, then she would be more direct!  I get it now. I miss talking about books and our reading and our writing. I learned so much by being connected with this amazing woman.  Menu planning, Christmas shopping and list making, La...

  Life is experienced in all of the thousands of little actions.    We learn trust and how to be in a relationship by all of the little interactions.   The ups and downs and ins and outs of everyday family life are where the important lessons are learned and transmitted.   Repetition burns them into our minds and hearts. Neil Anderson states in his book, Discipleship Counseling, “We live according to what we have chosen to believe about ourselves and the world around us, and we are not always aware that we are continuously gathering information that forms, alters and intensifies our beliefs.   Many people cruise through life with a carefree attitude, unaware of how they are being influenced by the world in which they live.”   (P. 79) The trick is, I believe, is to force my attention and become aware of those little interactions.   To realize my own defense mechanisms, procedural memory and responses and actions involved. To...

At a recent garage sale, I bought the book, "Ivanhoe" by Sir Walter Scott.  This very old book purchased for $.25 was stamped with an elementary school's mark from long ago. A frustrating and challenging book to read.  Many new words and ideas and names that were outside my usual.  I was determined to have victory over it!  At first, it was a battle.  I fought with each paragraph and made the decision to not let it win.   Line by line, I trudged through, until I began to feel connected to the characters.  I wanted to know what happened to the Black Knight and Rebecca or Rowana or Ivanhoe. Some favorite quotes: “For he that does good, having the unlimited power to do evil, deserves praise not only for the good which he performs, but for the evil which he forbears. " Sir Walter Scott   “Chivalry!---why, maiden, she is the nurse of pure and high affection---the stay of the oppressed, the redresser of grievances, the cu...

As you can tell, I'm in that stage of life. You know the one.  Transition...AGAIN.  With transition comes reflection and contemplation and dreaming.  O.k. nevermind....this is just life and it is a transition from birth to death! Since we are only human and can only see and know in part we struggle and need a constant reality check.  This is mine regarding the dreams of my heart.   --> Working Through a dream Dreams are not simple objects to tie down into concrete, well defined boxes. Dreams are not static. A dream is rather a kaleidoscope of dynamic growing, moving and changing pieces. Branches reaching continually to the sky and roots intertwining through the ground. Bumping up against life and reality or a hard spot in the ground...they flex around it and continue reaching for the sky. Right now I’m in the disequilibrium that only growth can bring. Planting diverse crops. Growing Bending Prioritizing Pruning. Reflecti...