HEART'S CRY

   I have not written in this blog for years and I begin in with an intention to simply write.  Not worry about who is reading and what others think.  Simply to write.   I go to the Truck Stop on Saturday mornings and other times where I really need to focus and read.  It seems contrary for focused attention and yet it works for me. It is one of those great spots where the sign says, "Seat yourself," so I found my spot in a corner booth.  My favorite waitress brought coffee and a smile.  As I organized my books and notebook and waited for my eggs and toast, I savored the sounds. Closest to me is an older couple and a grandson talking about the projects they want to tackle today. A young gentleman talked to his partner on the speaker phone, telling her about the "locals and travelers" all eat here.  Then he listened to a sitcom for many to hear.   A family speaking Spanish laughed and shared breakfast at a large table nearby....

How can I describe the feelings wreaking havoc on my mind and heart right now? The passion and incredible respect and pride and grief. Now is my time to weep. To mourn. To celebrate. To learn and to grow. We just returned home from a mission trip with Royal Family Kids Camp. Over thirty on site staff, over twenty special visitors, teams of people before, during and after camp volunteering hundreds of hours, thousands and thousands of dollars... all to give children the opportunity to know they are loved and experience a thousand moments that matter! Here are just a few. To experience love and the amazing outdoors. To touch dead bees, leaves, flowers, bugs, snakes, dirt and explore the wilds of the plains and learn about creation To drive ATV's and ride horses To swim and have massive water fights To make string art, sensory bottles, spin art, paint, duct tape and draw to their heart's content To climb a rock wall To play GA GA BAll and shoot arc...

The Audacity to Walk My Own Path Setting goals is exhilarating. Following through? Thats another story. Accepting my gifts my intuition, vision, strengths, and the desires placed on my heart feels like an act of audacity. Denying them? That feels easier. Sabotaging them? That feels like second nature. So the days slip by, filled with busyness but not progress. A dream sparks. An idea fuels my soul. A simple phone call could set everything in motion. I take a step forward, maybe even two. And then without warning something inside me trips me up. I picture her: A vivacious, enthusiastic young girl runs down the path, arms raised, eyes shining with passion. The wind and sun on her face fuel her. She climbs the hills with exhilaration, undeterred by the challenge. She is fearless. She is free. She holds joy with both hands and chases her dreams with abandon. Then she stumbles. She falls hard, face-first into the dirt. A crowd gathers. Their laughter is sharp, their eyes filled with taunts ...

A highway meanders and drifts over gently rolling hills and valleys. Even in the very isolated Western Nebraska I love to travel, there are opportunities to stop and take a break. If I had an emergency, eventually someone would come by and they would help me.   It feels like a safe and predictable way to travel through life. One thing I know about myself is I love to travel the back roads. It's the gravel and dirt roads that lead to the best destinations and fills my need for adventure, exploration and challenge. My heart craves the sense of uncertainty, challenge and uncharted territories. To try new ways. To look on a landform in the horizon and find a way to reach it. The past two years, my life has been a whirlwind of travel and people and learning and change. I catch a glimpse of the past as I hold tenaciously to the rope staked to my home and family keeping me grounded. I've learned how unacknowledged fear and insecurities can leave us strande...

Today's (o.k. yesterdays) is to teach something.  I am studying positive reinforcement from a variety of disciplines and perspectives. Did you 80-95% of the thoughts you think are naturally negative?  Is this the way you want to live?  If the average number of daily thoughts range between 40,000 and up and we know it is up to us to renew our mind and change our brain; do you agree this is the place to begin? I am not a positive affirmation kind of girl. It seemed fake to me and I could never do it authentically.  However, I have learned to change the stories I"m telling myself (which is pretty much the same thing) such as "that is so unlike me."  I would prefer re-framing as a strategic approach.  Choosing liberating versus limiting thoughts to dwell on.  Choosing to believe the positive intention of those around me.  I honestly believe most people are very good and want to know me and be nice to me.   I choose to believe th...

Freedom is a core value for me. As I think about what it means to me, I wanted reflect on others' definitions and quotes. To take the time to understand our core values helps us have to resolution to follow our path.  Merriam Websters defines freedom this way : the quality or state of being free: such as a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b :  liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another :  independence c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous <freedom from care>d :  ease , facility <spoke the language with freedom>e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken <answered with freedom>f : improper familiarity g : boldness of conception or execution h : unrestricted use <gave him the freedom of their home> Freedom means opportunity, flexibility, living with abandon, adventure, ability, auton...

Today's challenge is to write a list.  Any list.  Where to begin?  Deep breath.  With support from a wonderful coach, I am trying to think about my challenges differently.  How can I use my strengths to support those areas I need to work on?  One of the areas of extreme challenge for me is around details.  My coach encouraged me to re-frame and amazingly I have found this powerful!  You see, I am a big picture person.  I long for the whole picture and seeing how items connect and link together. This list will be around creating a system and procedure for these details.   Scheduling Scheduling meetings with individuals and teams Scheduling driving time Scheduling time for planning, development and follow up Scheduling time for thinking Scheduling time for billing Scheduling timelines Scheduling phone calls Scheduling time for development of training Writing narratives and next steps Writing follow up emails Writin...