Today's (o.k. yesterdays) is to teach something. I am studying positive reinforcement from a variety of disciplines and perspectives.
Did you 80-95% of the thoughts you think are naturally negative? Is this the way you want to live? If the average number of daily thoughts range between 40,000 and up and we know it is up to us to renew our mind and change our brain; do you agree this is the place to begin?
I am not a positive affirmation kind of girl. It seemed fake to me and I could never do it authentically.
However, I have learned to change the stories I"m telling myself (which is pretty much the same thing) such as "that is so unlike me."
I would prefer re-framing as a strategic approach. Choosing liberating versus limiting thoughts to dwell on.
Choosing to believe the positive intention of those around me. I honestly believe most people are very good and want to know me and be nice to me.
I choose to believe the truth of God's Word rather than my own nature's drive. How we think about people tends to be how we speak about them and to them. The Bible says, "Out of the heart, the mouth speaks." Unless we change our heart and our thinking...out speaking will not be authentic.
Research shows reinforcement changes behavior. Positive feedback and reinforcement changes attitude. Some information states it takes 300 positive reinforcements to make a habit a natural part of our lives. If this is true, if we positively reinforce once a day, it will take 300 days to make a change in one habit.
This is not enough for me. I need many habits to change to become natural procedural memory in order to meet my goals.
Michael Hyatt's work in Five Days to the Best Year Ever is a great system to embrace this strategy. When I joined his program, I made the commitment to embrace the process and take it one step at a time. His program leads a person through a series of procedures, reflection, observation and creating personal action planning.
Other works I am studying right now in regard to this subject are:
Getting to Yes with Myself by William Ury
Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
Crucial Accountability by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Greeny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
Prevent Teach Reinforce for Young Children
Prevent Teach Reinforce for Families
Circle of Security Intervention
Raising Secure Children
My goal is to synthesize this information and share with you soon! However, if you are in a relationship of any kind...begin giving POSITIVE DESCRIPTIVE FEEDBACK. Using positive and encouraging comments around the behaviors you want to see is your secret power tool! They need it. We all need it.
Our world is increasing negative, selfish and isolated. We need to rebuild connection and encouragement and reinforcement on the positive. Positive Descriptive Feedback forces us to grow in our ability to observe and focus on what is right.
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