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Trading In

It's time for an upgrade!  Way past time I'm afraid.  I've driven it until the wheels have fallen off.  Time to trade in for a new version.  This version has been stuck on overdrive for way too long.   I've tried it my way.  My car has ran on expectations, responsibilities, pleasing people, anxiety, fearfulness and trying to do it all.  I've tried down shifting and braking but nothing works.   It carries a load because I've tried like crazy to pick up people and things a long the way and am trying to pull many along with me.

I'm holding on for the big crash that is coming as I pull in to trade it in.

This version I am picking up is a slower model with good mileage and made for long distances.  It's an automatic transmission with auto pilot.  The most amazing aspect is that I do not have to know where I am going; make any plans or plot the course.  I get to listen to music and talk to the auto drive guy in charge.  I enjoy the people who are with me but don't have to carry or pull them and they can choose to come along side or not.   The load I carry is just the small bit that is my responsibility and it is actually quite light once I unpack all of the junk. 

I know that it will be difficult for me not to be in charge and will want to grab at the driver's wheel or pick up luggage along the way.  I know that I'll want to "help" plot the course.  I'm thankful that this version has a refresh button that will take it back to it's original settings when I take the time to refresh!

I might not be around very much as this version will take me time and practice in order to get used to it.  It requires a lot of one on one time.  I'll be able to update you here on the new version and keep you up to date if you would like to join me for the ride.

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord...But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17: 5-8

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