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Don't Blame Your Challenges for Your Character


We all have challenges and weaknesses of some kind.  It is part of being human.  But our challenges cannot be blamed for our character or lack thereof. 

In fact, to be perfectly direct and to the point...we tend to handicap ourselves by the way we respond to them more then any diagnosis or verification ever can.  

A wise Doctor told me once when my son spent a week in a specialty clinic for asthma that "how we as parents responded to this struggle would be a determining factor on his ability in overcoming it."

I could give you the shopping list of verifications and diagnoses just in our own family but they do not represent us.  They are not our identity.  None of my three boys should be doing what they are doing according to their "challenges" or the obstacles they have had to overcome.  

In addition, we are given other "indicators" on our chances of success or failure such as income, education level, parenting, church experiences, abuse or neglect, substance abuse etc. etc.  The list is endless as to what we can blame in our lives.

We cannot blame our challenges and situations for our life but rather focus on the strength of our character.

For twenty two years I have worked in education, social service and human development and am convinced more today then ever before that our response to the challenges in our lives, families, communities and nation is a matter of individual character.  

More importantly, I am convinced that it is cruel and disrespectful to pigeonhole people and participate in promoting helplessness.

Some of the families that I have worked with are some of the smartest and strongest people I've ever met and yet they cannot get past their label and their challenge becomes a prison instead of a verification.  They are trapped in their perspective of their challenges.  It breaks my heart.  I know God wants us to be overcomers instead of wallowers.

And I know all about wallowing.  In pain and self pity and self preservation.  Separated from God's grace.

I'm blessed to have had the challenges in my life whether I like them or not.  I could blame my ADHD for lack of follow through or time management but that would be ridiculous.  That is all my fault.  I could blame my debt on poverty but we all know that is not the truth.  Or my health could be blamed on my genes and not my gluttony.   My habits could be hung on the abuse of my past.

 I can't blame my challenges.  I have to blame my character.  

Ouch.  That is painful.  Because it is all on me. It is up to me to change and build my character.  

It is just God and I that have to deal with this challenge.





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