Taking Care of Self or Looking out For Number 1?

This post finds me coming to my blogging community and tribe begging for some feedback and perspective. Warning:  Rambling is going to occur...

"Boundaries" teaches that we are responsible for ourselves and have responsibilities to others.  My highest responsibility is to my family after my responsibility to God.   Those boundary lines are constantly weaving and interacting...makes me dizzy!  That co-dependency bug...

I have tried to establish some red flags that show me when I'm crossing that line.  Anger, exhaustion, sickness, anxiety, clutter and chaos in my life are just a few. 

In our narcissistic culture it is difficult to find the narrow path between taking care/responsibility of self and looking out for number one.  

Hedonism lives for pleasure and self.   As we looked at before, it is living for pleasure.  Can "taking care" or "helping" others be a form of hedonism?

I wonder if instead of correcting our steps we react.  Is it a balance between our responsibilities and our call to serve others?  Balance can sometimes reflect indecision and keeping our feet on both sides of the fence.  

So Is it a balance at all?  

Should self-care be seen as an act of service?  An act of responsibility for ourselves and to my family? An act of service to those that God has called me to?

So my BIG question is...how do you find time to take care of yourself and of your family and responsibilities?  Is it selfish to take a giant step back and focus on self-care for a time? 

How do I do that and hold up my end of the deal with my family, my church and my job?  

I have to see self-care as a part of service and responsibility.  

I don't need a new mission or mission statement.  I am to take part in God's mission.  God's mission is for me to do what He says to do and not all of the other "have to's."  

To walk contentedly, peacefully and purposely.

I know...a flow chart!  A "looks like"/"doesn't look like" type of chart.  A grid of some sort where I evaluate the day to see if I've met my responsibilities?  Sounds intense.

Here is my beginning:

Have I been with God through praying and reading His Word?

In what ways today have I obeyed and trusted Him?

Is my home a clean, organized and restful place for my family?

Have I shown love and service to my husband and my boys?

Have I intentionally and systematically prayed for each of them?

Do our parents feel honored and remembered?

Am I writing and following a budget of my time and my finances?

Do I do what I say I'm going to do at home, church and work?

Do friends feel valued and important to me?

Have I followed up with the Dr. and his recommendations to me?

Did I walk?

What have I put into my body today?

Did I set aside time to write today? Work in my yard or garden or with the horses?

How can I integrate the above?