HEART'S CRY

I've been craving homemade breads lately.  Biscuits and cornbread...  Not good.  Not good at all.  It is all falling in line.   The signs are there.  I'm in trouble. Sleepiness, low energy and craving comfort food.  I'm "winterizing" as my friend said today.  My body and mind are going dormant.  Now if I could climb into a cave and pull a heavy coat over me and sleep for a few months...it would all be good. Forget "Low T."  I have "Low S."  Lack of sunshine syndrome.  It is amazing to me how attuned to nature's cycles I am.  Summer finds me hopping out of bed way before 5 and this time of year, I'm dragging myself out right now by 6!  It is settled.  I am ready to be a snow bird!

I've been glued to the radio, computer and t.v. yesterday and today, hoping for the best on the East Coast.   Maybe growing up isolated and at the mercy of severe weather has given me a different perspective, but my heart is broken. I want those affected by Sandy to know that people in the Midwest are praying for you.   While st epping out our front door and reaching out to you is not possible, I can send prayer and donations.   Convoy of Hope is at your door and I can support them. Stay safe.  And know that a neighbor in Nebraska is thinking about you this morning.

Heart burn hurts.   I experienced this phenomenon the first time when I was pregnant with my oldest son.  The ladies in the nursing home where I worked, had more reasons then I could count.   He will have a lot of hair...which he did.  It will be a boy...which he is.  He will have colic...and HE DID!  Now that I think about it, they pretty much called it. Now, I greet it like an old...acquaintance.    With a little baking soda! Another heart burn that I experienced first with my oldest and anticipate being familiar with until this life is over, is harder to swallow. It is a heart burn that comes from a burdened heart.  That sixth sense that God gave Moms and Dads that things are just not quite where they need to be in the hearts and lives of one of our children. When I sense this feeling in the pit of my heart, I fir st have to deal with my own anxiety and fear.   It is so easy to mix...

Who I spend time with, listen to and learn from will impact my behavior and my dreams. Being surround ed with fools or foll owing others into a ditch of ignorance , error, sin and deception is a dangerous position to put one self in.   I might think that I'm too clever or intuitive to be led astray until I w ake up destroyed and lost.       "A companion of fools will suffer harm." Proverbs 13:20 "Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit." Matthew 15:14

While on business, I called my husband to ask what the pressure should be on my tires.  He said, "Did you know it outlines that in the owner's manual in the glove box?"  I said, "O.k.  So what should the pressure be?"  He gave me the number while explaining the importance of knowing how to access and use the manual. It is easier if he tells me.  My husband is the Cliff Notes! If an operating manual is important for everything else then, don't we need one for us ?     The engineer, designer and creator sent directions to mak e our lives work better.  To help us maintain, manage and steward our bodies and our lives. "So it will go well with us." "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy." He tells us. “ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant...

Driving around rural Nebraska yesterday gave me plenty of time to listen to the radio. A statement jumped out of the radio and landed squarely in the middle of my thoughts "optimism requires a commitment" and pessimism is an easy way out.   Driving a round rural Nebraska also gave me plenty of time to wrestle with it.   Optimism :  Hopefullness and confidence about the future. Pessimism :  Tendency to see the worst and believe the worst. Optimis m for a believer needs to be based on their faith and faith founded on the truth.  If we truly see as God sees then how can we not have hope for the future ? I believe that optimisim also involves an ownership of one's life.  Taking responsibility .  Moving hopefully into the future.   Pessimism can be a cop out in my opinion.  If we choose to believe this way then we have a way o ut.  A way out of working hard for the future.  Commitment and dedication t...

The passion to express our true voice or finding our voice to express our passion is a much different place to be then...feeling stuck.   The truth is, we are never stuck.  Truly stuck.  Feeling stuck is not necessarily the truth.  In fact, many times if we change our perceptions and our perspectives then we can see the way God sees through the lens of His truth. Feeling stuck can involve feelings of fear, panic, anger, hopelessness and/or helplessness.  Usually, we respond by gunning the engine, spinning the tires or throwing up our hands in complete des pair . When we first moved here, the transition was beyond difficult.  One day, I drove to the lake to drive along the beach not knowing the deceitful depth of the sand.  Driving, crying and praying along until suddenly, my tires sank and I was stuck.   First, I just sat there in shock.  Really?  I am stuck?   DUH!  I had been stuck before a...

The environment in which I grew up nurtured a fascination of behavior...in animals and in people.  The book for understanding animals seemed hardwired in my brain while learning to read people has always been by trial and error.  I learned about people through my experience with animals. What I know now is that my strength is in "connecting."  Finding those links and connections across time, people and individual systems.  If a strategy worked with the horses then I would try it with my sisters.  Eventually expanding the strategies with my own children and the children that I work with.   All of this said, while taking the long way around the behavior of "the discussion."   Discussion can feel like a tug of war.    As a young girl trying to lead a horse many many times bigger then me, I learned quickly that direct tug of war was not ever going to work. If, however, I could get them off balance, the horse would tak...

So technology trips me up and tweaks my style.   Can technology also be tapped?   Is it a tool to tap into a larger community of friends longing for a place to express the real cry of our hearts? Can it serve as a point of entry for people from various backgrounds, interests and experiences to enter a place where the cry or our hearts can be voiced ?   Stories heard?  Dreams expressed?  Accountability offered ?   So while technology races at the speed of l ight and I trudg e along as a little chub by turtle, I'm grabbing on and hanging on for the ride.

What is it about coffee that draws people together and nurtures the morning spirit? Coffee draws us in with three cords of fragrance, heat and addiction!  More importantly it is a nurturing routine.  A place to meet and bump into folks.  Something in common to bring a community of people together.  A way to say, "I'm home." My husband and I jostle and tease every morning as to whose turn it is to step out of our warm bed piled with blankets onto the cold floor to make that first pot.  The thermostat is on the way where it takes a second to start the process to make the heat and begin to warm the morning.  As I open the lid and scoop the grounds, pour the water and push the button...my dog takes his cue and is waiting to go outside.  The public radio station is our alarm and we catch the news from the night. Frequently, I have something cooking for breakfast and David gets out the door first.  Next, my teenager come rushing out his b...

Fires are racing in this wind tonight in our rural areas.  Once again the volunteer firefighters, ranchers and farmers are at war with nature.  I am praying for God's mercy and grace as homes have burned.   It is a reminder to liv e prepared.  Physically and spiritually.  The Bible says to gather while we can and to be like the ants who prepare for the winter.  I am thinking of stories where God told His people how to be ready for when He delivers them.   The Israelites were packed, dressed and ready for God's call.  Moses built an ar k without knowing what in the world he was doing except that God told him to. God is in control and He is and always will be...God.   While He does ask us to live with full assurance and trust of His sovereignty and plan for our life; I believe He expects us to be faithful while we wait! P ut on that armor and pack your grab bag and l ive prepared.

Learning is messy!  Furthermore, it is messy in all ages. As human beings, we were born to learn.  Touching, exploring, falling, bumping, making messes and pushing limits in order to understand. The best framework in which to discover this concept is through real life stories and connections.  Stories of real messy people in real life teach the best lessons. My Boys Learning! A Grandmother intuitively noted this the other day after her grandson came home from preschool…ready to rock.  He had been playing in pudding, water, sand and dirt at school and was not ready to stop when he got home!  The floodgates were open, and he was ready to learn!  And…as we know, that is never easy. Learning is messy! A youth group has been an experiment of sorts.  A wide spectrum of kids who come from different social/economic, age group, family and church backgrounds and experiences; get together to learn. It is messy. ...

Finding focus from a blimp's view seems to be an oxymoron.  Focus seems to conjure up a squinting one eyed view.  A pair of binoculars or a telescope come to mind.   Does a blimp come to your mind when you are thinking about increasing focus? Don't give up on me just yet! My husband always says, "Even a dime held too close to the eye will block out the sun."   In order to  focus on what is important instead of perseveration or getting stuck.  Focus is not stuck. In my mind's eye, I ride the "Good Year Blimp" up up and away.  I've always dreamed of rid ing in a hot air balloon but this seems a little more "safe." From this viewpoint I can broaden my perspective and get away from the weedy everyday life to distinguish the big picture.   I can picture how today links to yesterday and connects to my future.   Taking the Blimp view will helps us to focus on the right things.  

Quite a few years ago... in a land far far away... A baby was brought home.   His name was Oreo, a little black and white Rat Terrier/Chiwawa.  Our oldest son (unbeknownst) to us had been bonding with him daily at the local pet store.  So when he cashed in from a summer job during the fair as a 6th grader...he begged me to come and meet him.  My husband had already said, "no more dogs."  However, when we walked into the pet store and Oreo was hanging over some man's shoulder begging my son with his eyes...I surrendered.  We went home with him. My husband?  He was out of town to a Colorado Rockies game.  Coming home around 1am, I said, "Guess what?"  He said, "You got that dog."  He fell in love quite quickly.  He is sweet and faithful.  A steady loyal type of dog.  As the boys have grown and left; he goes through the adjustment with their Dad and I. Proud New Owner Middle son with Oreo and Buster....

My heart hurts.  Comparable to the clouds marching across the sky toward a chilly windy evening so my my heart is occupied tonight with a chilly touch of heartache.  Loneliness and homesickness have invaded my being.   My middle son played college football today and I was not there.  It hurts.  I do Praise God that I could catch some bits on a video streaming...but it made it worse.  I saw him but really wanted to touch him.  To reach through the screen.  To know what he was thinking and feeling. A funeral was at our church today where a friend was given military honors.  While the bugle played and the flag was folded...I cried.  Proud that our friend was honored in this way.  Filled with emotion for those who have served and are honored every day.   Finally, I was overcome with longing for my son as he serves his country.  I miss him more then words can describe. Heartache is one of those seas...

Self-Regulation and Focus I've never been accused of being rigid, hard to start or unwilling to think outside the box.  However, typical descriptions include, "always pushing the envelope" and "not sure what to do about her" and "needs to focus."  My brain makes the rest of me run out of energy! My strengths from the Strength Finder system are:  connection, activator, believe, restorative and learner.  I see the big picture and want to learn everything I can about as much as I can.  Ideas, like environmental noise, run around in my head.  I'm passionate, forward thinking and want to change things and be involved. Ideas, learning and passion without boundaries and execution are just hot air.  Simplifying and focusing on one idea at a time to it's completion while embracing my strengths in order to achieve my goals.  Instead of beating myself up with guilt when I can't do it all, to learn to it one step at a time.   ...

It is difficult to accept that I am now an "older" and "wiser" Mom.   O.k. ...  just older. In Early Intervention I have the opportunity to spend time with the most amazing families, kids and professionals.  I am blessed beyond measure to be in the field that I am in. When a new family receives the news that their child has some hurdles to overcome...I want to wrap my arms around them and simply tell them this: If I knew then what I know now...I would simply enjoy every second. I wouldn't fret and stew so much over dumb things like toys and clothes on the floor. I would spend more time playing and less time fixing. I would spend much less time telling them what to do and much more time simply be part of what they are doing. If I knew then what I know now... I wouldn't push so hard. I would listen more and tell less. I would ask more questions about the moon and the animals and their stories. I would sit on the floor and turn ...