Our Children ARE in a Famine

We are in a famine.  We've been in a long drought.  

"Every child is in relationship poverty," according to Dr. Bruce Perry.

I believe we in America are in a relationship drought.  It has been a very long drought.  A drought producing a dangerous famine.

As rain nurtures the soil.  Taking moisture to the roots of all things growing.  Softening and breaking up the hardened soil.  Resurrecting millions of colonies of organisms at work beneath our feet.  Even the natural composting process, needs moisture to be productive.  It's just how it is.

Without rain, nothing grows and eventually dies.   Without relationship, we won't grow.  We die.

Babies die from not being loved.  Not having the needed relationships, stunts children's ability to grow, love and learn.  It is simply how we are made.  

We are hardwired for relationship.  Science proves it.  The Bible is based on it.  We are created to be in relationship.

My husband and I spent the first long chunk of time together yesterday we have had in a very long time.

I didn't want to go.  I had things to do.   Instead of focusing on simply taking the chance to be with my husband, I focused on what he wanted me to do.

Historically when we have a long space of time, issues surface that need taken care of.  A discussion.  When the neglected had been cared for...we had a great time.

As we spent a liesurly hour over supper, we noticed the sad eyes of children, whose parents were on the phone.  

Spouses whose faces were in adoration of the phone screen and not their lover. 

"How sad," we say.  Uncomfortably.  We get wrapped in our own world so easily.  Separated.  Disconnected. Fragmented.  In a relationship famine.  What wasted time.

Families have become community organizers;  facilitating projects, lessons, classes, tv, phones, entertainment and activities.  Family can become a marketing activity.

BUSYness is an easy way to ensure relationships are maintained in a comfortable distance. 

Schools can become factories; turning out a product.  Focusing on the outcome. Teachers and students alike focus on surviving.

Churches can become social clubs.  We are set up to avoid relationships.  Focus on guilt, blame and work.  We divide the family into age groups and rush from this class to that.  The church is not met to mean "going to church."

Where to begin?

1.  Pay attention & observe.  Ask God to open the eyes of our heart and to search us.  To help us see through our walls of self-deception.

2. Self-reflect and take responsibility.   My husband does touch me or care for me the way he should....  Instead, I need to acknowledge and focus on all that I don't do within every relationship.

3.  Repent of selfishness and self-absorbed living.

4.  Focus on being with each and every person I interact with.  Without agenda, expected outcome and without control and avoidance.

When I was a child, our ranch suffered a long drought.  The hardship for people and animals and the land brought unbelievable damage.

And yet, I remember the first rain.  Small drops with a giant bucket to fill.  

Incredibly, the healing began right away.  A little greening.  Lifted spirits.  Joy.  Hope.  A new beginning.

Restoration took time, but the healing began right away.

A small drop.  A little time.  A conversation.  Eye contact.  Time.

Let the healing and restoration begin.  Now.