HEART'S CRY

Still on my journey of reflection around the topic of service.  When is service freely given or compulsive?   What is the compelling force for me to serve? Thinking about rest.  Many church activities are done for the summer and work is slowing.  My garden is mostly planted and I don't want to start on my house!   What does God say about rest? Is rest simply being lazy?  Are there types of rest?  What is rest?  Finally, what in the world does rest have to do with service?  … "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."   Mathew 11:29-30 Trading our burden of guilt and shame for the His authority and peace is the gift of salvation!   Taking off the heavy yoke of strings, expectations and rules of others and taking Jesus's gift and His yoke. Matthew Henry in his commenta...

A  seemingly quiet young lady joined our youth group this fall from Norway.  Beautiful.  Her eyes told another tale and we looked forward to getting to know her. That was nine months ago and we have fallen for this girl!  She is one of a kind!  No drama or trying to figure her out.  I love her authenticity and honesty.  What you see is who she is.  Her eyes are full of laughter, exploration and mischievousness.  She is not interested in fluff or the material but in the experience and learning. She wanted to see a live skunk, racoons and snake in the wild and wanted to chase the buffalo.  The windmill game will never be the same without her.  She holds her own in Monopoly, chess and any game she plays.  I love that she runs, climbs and wrestles.  Back down or slow down does not exist anywhere in her! Finally, I love the friendship that blossomed between her and my son.  Listening to them laugh until I was...

I hate to admit this.  Sometimes I have a bad attitude in service.  Picking up laundry for the umpteenth time is one of those time. Vacuuming at church when I'm exhausted.  Mowing the yard when my family is not doing anything. Even worse, at times I secretly hope for recognition.  For my husband to notice the clean house or for someone to see how I have cleaned.   I pick up some trash on the street or the parking lot and throw it away.  Only to have the fleeting thought later of what a good job that was and patting myself on the back. Please forgive me for taking some liberty with scripture, but I wonder about the verse which says, "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also?" Do I treasure recognition, appreciation and compliments more then I treasure pleasing God?   Does my service reflect treasuring God or pleasing people? Am I serving to receive gratitude or out of gratitude? We can choose to ...

She sat on the bench, looking so very young.  A little girl. I watched her eyes, her hunched shoulders and her clasping hands. She reminded me of my dog when we scold him.  He cowers down to the floor and he's never been abused.  She has. I see Seligman's theory of learned helplessness play out in front of me. And yet, she will not be kept down!  She will continue trying to jump out of the trap.  She will fight. My heart climbed the gate and went to her.  I wanted to protect her and defend her. A little girl with a little girl. Her anger scares people. Her opposition and attitude makes them mad. Her crude coping skills do not line up to the standards of those in control. Learned helplessness From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Learned helplessness is a mental state in which an organism forced to endure aversive stimuli, or stimuli that are painful or otherwise unpleasant, becomes unable or unwilling to avoid subsequent encou...

  It's been a very long week. My heart hurts for so many. I'm thankful for true, authentic, messy and imperfect friends. I'm disgusted, disappointed, a tad disillusioned and lots determined. Biting, devouring and chewing each other up is not the way we are meant to be.  In fact, not how we are commanded to be.   You command us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Oh yeah, that one.  You know the one who is so different.  The one I like to compare myself to.  Good thing I'm not like them. You command us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Yet we delight when another falls.  We relish being right, in charge, in control and in the way. You command us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  And yet, we are biting, devouring and consuming each other.  Energy, resources and hope.  Sucking life out of another. "… 14 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NE...

Serve is at the opposite end of self. Serve or refrain. Serve or withhold. Serve or refuse. Serve or take. True service has to be done with complete disregard for what I get or what is in it for me. Service is more then an ACT.   It is a heart issue. "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. "You are My friends if you do what I command you.…" John 15:13-14

So...it would be so unlike me to make a decision on the run.  (O.k. maybe very like me.)  Yesterday was one of those days.  Feelings of guilt, pride and determination are all involved.  I had visited with a landscaper his opinion on the best tree for my yard as I grieve the loss of three large trees.  "Hawthorn," he said.  "I think I know of one."   We both left the conversation with expectations of a different perspective.  So yesterday, the equipment and the tree arrived.   Honestly, I was so excited and thrilled to have a quality tree planted professionally.  It is a beautiful tree and placed right where I dreamed a tree being. However, I feel guilty for this huge splurge and the effects it will have on our budget.  Then, I remembered "opportunity cost!" The garage sale I have been threatening and half planning?   Well, it is ON now!  My desire to declutter and dejunk has now been ac...

Going through books at a garage sale is a dangerous activity for a book lover!  Especially one who has a pile to read beside my chair.  Yes, I said "pile."  Two small wicker baskets full, books on top and (sigh) books all round! My husband picked one up; handing it to me knowingly.  "This might be one you should read," he said.  I grimaced.   "Becoming a woman of Simplicity," by Cynthis Heald. The verse on the front of the book nailed it.   "I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ." 2 Corinthians 11:3 The Greek word for simplicity is haplotes, which means 'singleness, sincerity, without pretense.'  It gets better according to the Blue Letter Bible.  "The virtue of one who is free from pretense and hypocrisy and not self seeking, openness of heart manifesting itself by generosity." Service should ...

My house, garage and shed overfloweth.   It is time to dejunk and declutter.  And it is very scary. Totes of David's toys from his childhood, books, videos... Lawn mowers, clothes... It is very scary. So I need some motivation!!!  Big time! 1.  More time and space 2.  Better perspective 3.  Emergency funding 4.  Pay a bill funding or BUY plants 5.  Less to clean, sort and find hmmmm.... motivation is beginning to grow!

Reconnecting the heart of a child to God and to their family. Turning to an adult who is the source of life and finding that adult mean, weak or gone is devastating to the heart of a child.    Being hurt, rejected or humiliated by a person who is supposed to love and protect has a life long consequence. Nature, nurture, trust, sinful nature, redemption and renewing the mind.  What can disrupt the cycle of abuse and redeem children and families. If we were abused or abuse; is that our identity forever?  Will this influence ripple generation to generation?  The wiring of the brain forever altering the children behind us?  Guilt, shame, repentance, bitterness verses redemption, forgiveness and healing.   How we live, believe, love, obey and whom we trust does make a difference on our families and generations. The sins of a father is a phrase I've heard thrown out when someone is mad or needs an excuse.  What doe...

Soil gets a bad rap.   Feet and hands and children are kept out of it.   Noses wrinkled and head held high as we avoid it. It is kept at arms length with shovel handles and spray bottles. Keep it at a distance. Uninvolved and unmoved.   Focus on the quick and away from the dirty and real. Sometimes, the most important things around us, we take for granted. Soil full of life.   Full of the memories of how it was treated and what was once sown and thought hidden. Soil is where yesterday, today and tomorrow merge and link arms. Where the debris of the years is broken into particles and covered with the debris of today. Birds, worms, organisms and humans mix the layers. Soil is where the broken, diseased, decayed and imperfect become treasure. Where is diversity is invited and created. "An exuberantly healthy soil is the cornerstone of a sustainable garden.  The virtues bestowed by a liv...

Homesick.  I get so homesick with missing my boys and wanting them home! Then I remember, home is a place in my heart and not a building.   My heart is home and my boys will always have a place here.   They were handed the key, before I met or held them.   Memories Prayers Dreams Visions Belief Love Treasures I hold for them here!   Decorated with tears and heart ache. Polished with worry and determination. Battered, bold and sturdy. I carry within me my treasure.  My crown.  My prayers and my gift to be put at the foot of Jesus. To lay my Heart's Cry and prayer and love for them at His feet! Oh God, please hold my treasure!