Reflection on Serving: Where does serving and helping veer away from obedient and land in compulsion?

A question asked of me, has stirred my mind.  

• Where does serving and helping veer away from obedient and land in compulsion?
•  Am I Compulsive or Obedient? 
• What does God say about this and how does He wants me to live?
• How do I know if helping has become a compulsion?

To begin with, what in the world does "compulsion" mean?  According to the dictionary, it means the following:

:a very strong desire to do something

: the act of using force or pressure to make someone do something

: the state of being forced to do something Merriam-Webster 

:the act of compelling; constraint; coercion.   

:the state or condition of being compelled.

:Psychology . a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.  Dictionary.com

John W. Ritenbaugh  states,

Life is a series of compulsions which lead us to choices. These compulsions come in two varieties: 

1) forced, as by a gun to our temple which says, "Do this or else," and 2) unforced, just as each dawn comes regardless, gently persuading us to rise and meet our duties. 

Each pushes us to choose, and the only real difference in them is their strength.

We are surrounded by various elements that, forced or unforced, exert pressure to compel us to submit to them out of loyalty. 

 Both good and evil are compulsions pressuring us to follow them. Our culture urges us to "go along." Family ties influence us to blend in. Our peers, friends in business, school, or neighborhood buddies, entice us to conform. 

These compulsions sweep us along, and all too frequently we go right into idolatry to satisfy our desires to be accepted and feel secure. 

But Peter and the other apostles said, "We ought to obey God rather than men."The First Commandment (1997)

Where does the Bible speak of compulsion, giving and obeying?

1 Peter 5:2

"Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.…"

Acts 5:9
"Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!"

2 Corinthians 9:7

"Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."
 

The word used in 1 Peter 5:2, the word used for compulsion means, "Not by force or constraint" according to the Greek Lexicon. 

"It is not meant to be something that constrains; nor should it be out of fear, guilt or shame, "but from a willing mind that takes pleasure in the work: not for filthy lucre, or any emoluments and profits attending the place where you reside, or any perquisite belonging to the office, but of a ready mind, regarding the flock more than the fleece, sincerely and cheerfully endeavouring to serve the church of God." Matthew Henry Commentary