This story is important to me. My deep loneliness and loss and the tremendous blessing of a few very important people who helped me find the capacity to build relationships.
It was a very cold spring in my tiny house in North Dakota. All of my friends and my husband were finishing college degrees and graduating in April. My heart hurt that I would not be one of them. It was dark and I was so sick and exhausted. Happy and scared to death to be a parent. Our first baby boy was due in April.
I was extremely lonely. Friends were still worried about the everyday drama of college and my family was very far away. We were poor college kids and didn't have phone service and felt isolated and alone. In fact, keeping heat on was a miracle.
Everything around me seemed superficial except for this life within me. And our prenatal classes which felt like a community. The instructor was also my WIC "lady," and had the heart of a coach and a teacher. I don't remember her name, but she was a lifeline for me. She had this beautiful way of making me feel as if my worries and fears were normal and o.k. She normalized my experience in way I've tried to mimic.
And, my nursing home residents and staff who walked with me through this time. Their love and concern for both me and this soon coming baby was so critical. They hosted my baby shower and I treasure those items.
My capacity in being a Mom was built up because of my relationships with a teacher and nursing home residents and staff.
Five weeks later, we moved to our first ministry. We were excited and full of ourselves. Beautiful people in a rugged country. However, we arrived to learn the pastor had not had the approval and blessing of the church to bring in this youth pastor's family. What would they do with us?
Then, I had Vicki. A beautiful christian mom who brought me in to her home. She had little ones and mentored me in so many ways. We made Christmas Candy Cane cookies! My young son played with hers and we were pregnant together. While the church struggled and life was difficult, I had this resource in my life who unconditionally loved and accepted me. She believed in me and loved me through a time of great relational poverty.
Another move and a five week old and a twenty two month baby and a home within a church. And Colleen. Who taught me how to put chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes and plant the best tomatoes.
Anita came in to my life with my third son. My little sisters were near and spent a lot of time with my three boys. And it filled my relational cup just enough!
And, most importantly, the Grandmothers in my children's life helped me through phone calls, cards and being a listening ear.
I believe with all of my heart, the best gift we can give the children and their exhausted and lonely mamas is our time, connection and relationship.
What if more Moms had more capacity for relationship with their children, because of our investment in their lives?
We are not responsible for the relationship poverty in every persons life.
However, the Bible clearly states to love our neighbor as ourselves.
I wonder what our world would look like if we we saw the responsibility we have to those around us.
Comments
Post a Comment