HEART'S CRY

Transparency For the Journey, is not for the feint of heart.  Today's journey began with honesty to my accountability group and then the devouring of six fresh baked rolls.  I wish I could pretend the day went better but... I am heading into the dark forest.  The only way out is to get real. Good Grief. Thoughts for today seem to be centered around intuition.  God has given me the gift of intuition and the relationship "by gut" style!  I don't remember the official word for this relationship type, but I sense things.   One would think this would make me cautious and thoughtful...   One would be so wrong to think this. However, I have determined to use my strengths to my advantage in this war against my personal enemies.   So intuition, look out!  I am going to be using you as a tool to let me know what is going on with me as well as with others.   In order for this to work though, I'm going to...

This New Journey blog stream is my attempt of being transparent in the painful area of my life; my weight and my health. More information is not going to help overcome this life long behavior.  In fact, that has been a great diversion for me.  Perhaps one book I read will give me "THE" answer to my emotional eating and weight issues. Trust me, I know what I need to do and what happens if I don't.  I've experienced it.  Nothing is more frustrating when well meaning people offer advice as to how to lose weight.   While I appreciate learning what works for them, it doesn't help me.  We cannot assume that just because someone is flailing , that that person is not trying. However, just because this is my journey to take and I have to explore, create options, make decisions and act; I still need support and accountability. Many people in the circles of our li fe are purs uing change and fac ing huge obstacles. I know for me, I...

" I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong- that is that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each others faith.     I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) in order that I might have a harvest among you, just as I have had among the other Gentiles." Romans 1:11-13 What desire Paul shows in this passage for his church body.  He writes so transparently so we get to feel his heart and love.  He wants to impart a spiritual gift, like the kind we see in 1 Co. 1:7 and 12:1-31 so that these spiritual children of his can be strong and established.  He wants to see them nurtured and strong. " — To the end you may be established. Having commended their flourishing he here expresses his desire of their establishment, that as they grew upward in the branches they might grow downward in the root. The best saints, ...

Nothing like a weekend away to clear one's head and refocus.  If this weekend includes a class and an impromptu personal coaching time and an action plan...things begin to happen. I was born insatiably curious.  An explorer and pioneer at heart I think.  Gypsy in my blood.  One wild frontier has always turned me away.  I've walked to the edge of this forest more times then I can't count.  At times I'm brave and walk down the darkened path.   Other times...Fear takes over and I find myself screaming, t ripping and stumbling back down the path to my safe meadow.  I pick up a new back pack of "supplies and tools" and try to go around the edge of the unknow n looking for a short cut. Looking for a quick fix.  The KEY.  The magic word that will "work."  A wand or a button.  Short cuts and easy outs.   Rationalizing, reasoning, making excuses, w hining etc. Now...i t is time.  Time to fac...

My birthday finds me taking a few minutes of reflection this morning before work.  Pulling out a well worn article written when I met my birth Dad for the first time five years ago...reminds me of how blessed I am.   O.k. a few tears this morning as I think about how loved I am. We forget as a culture that those events that happen before we even remember do impact our today.   And we also know perceptions are not always realistic and yet they become so real and so very painful. While the people in my life loved me, I intuitively felt my coming did not make life easy on a 16 year old single Mom.   My feelings developed through experiences of being a nuisance, annoyance, pest and baggage are hard to overcome no matter how many birthdays separate them! My goal with writing this post today is to encourage you...whomever you are, through my brokenness, that you will find your value and your worth in the eyes of our heavenly Father!...

Today was our monthly potluck.  For our church, this usually means tons of food!  One famil y is trying to model healthy eating so we had humus, relish tray and quinoa salad.  Another family brought fruit and pasta salad.  Me?  I brought store made lasagna.  Add spaghetti casserole brought by a single Dad brought and chicken legs, vegetable casserol e, crackers and cheese and on and on.   Rows of tables filled with food, children and adults eating and visiting.  I stood back for a moment and relished the sight.  The little girl pulling over a chair for another little girl.   A four year boy dishing up fruit for a little 3 year old girl.   Kids sitting across the table from our older members enjoying undivided attention.     Laughter, talk and the sweet sounds of a large family enjoying each other .  Kids , potluck and enjoying the relationship of a family.  Being part of ...

I can't sit still.  My mind doesn't like to be still.  As far back as I can remember I have had an internal foot on the accelerator of my life.    Part of it is personality and temperament .  Part of it is experiences from my past. This weekend, I took a Christian Leadership Coaching workshop with Tony Stolzfus as a birthday present. While the books, materials and class gave me the information to help me move forward in my goals...it was the experience as a coachee that transformed my heart.  To Draw From ...  I experienced God in a way that I have never done before.  Having someone truly listen and ask about the cries of my heart, set me free.   Set me free...to be still. I am enough.  God has created me.  I don't have to be more or do more.  My value and my worth is not dependent on earning them.  While I know in my mind the truth of God's Word- I've been driven with such a desire...