HEART'S CRY

  My son mailed a book to me, filled with his highlighter, writing and musings.  The book, "Sometimes you Win, Sometimes you Learn," by John Maxwell is provocative and challenging.  Being on a learning journey with my son, is priceless.   I have been on a learning journey with him, his brothers and his Dad for 26 years.  Learning to observe, reflect and learn from those interactions and experiences has been my greatest joy.   The most painful and profound lessons come from within relationships.  These are the relationships I wanted to succeed the most in.  To win.   It was when (I still work on it!) I let go of the winning, I began to learn and grow together with my family.  Trying to win always seemed to involve losing and loads of guilt and shame.  Learning to take a moment to stand back and reflect on these interactions is when I began to learn.   What changed?  The focus....

Honestly, I've written a dozen personal mission statements and have been part of the process of creating them for groups and businesses. They have been mostly words.  Words on a template. I'm trying to rework my own right now. For continuing education, for independent contracting and for my resume.  Writing a mission seems a mission impossible at the moment. In fact, someone asked me the other day, "What do you do now?"  It is sometimes difficult to understand a mission outside of a job. As a culture, we want boxes, silos and job descriptions.  I've never been put easily put in a box.   So, why am I trying to put myself in one now? True to nature, I am successfully complicating it.  I have worked through Dan Miller's template to a mission statement in addition to googling, reading and finally asking my wise husband. Him:  "What are you all about?" Me:     Pfff "What am I not about?" (Yes, with attitude as I gi...

" “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.   Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.   If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?     So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’   For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.     But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.   Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:28-34

So many hurting hearts in our midst.  A downcast face, tear filled eyes, slumped shame laden shoulders and isolated cries.  Heavy burdens. Wounded and brokenness can breed bitterness and disable us with a victim mentality.  Wounded and brokenness can bring the release of surrender and freedom.  Isolation within or the connection of a perfect heavenly Father.  Powerlessness or personal choice. I choose Him.  This wounded heart cries for the hidden refuge and the safe hands of my God.   I want to fix.  He says release. I want to punish.  He says to forgive. I want to pound my fist against injustice and oppression.  He says vengeance is His. I could write out a long list of why I have the right to be angry.  I could spend hours relating the wrongs done.  I could disassociate or run away.  Disconnect or distract.  Or I can make a choice.  Lie or be truthful.  A choice to connect to th...

 One of my boys texted a question to me late last night.  (He forgets I'm old and go to bed early, but a joy to wake up to!)  "What did you learn today?" he asked. My mind automatically tip toes through time to three little boys who were always on the go and ready to learn.  Sometimes their learning was quiet, and sometimes not so much.   "What's this?" "Why?" "Why does the moon follow us?" "Why can't we have TV?  I don't want to be a troglodyte."  (I had to look that word up.)  Some of our learning as a family was extremely difficult, for all of us.   I loved walking by the lake or the nature trail exploring.  (Actually, me trying to keep up with them.)  Learning together and coming home with baggies of treasure of leaves, grasses and rocks.  Some of my favorite things. Now?  I am still following three boys, trying to keep up and learning along the way. So, what did I learn today? I learned today: ...

Perfectionism is a curse.   A curse to individuals and families.  We tend to strive to protect our sense of perfection to safely tuck our perfect family within.  To focus on what we want to see or hope to see, instead of what is. Families are not perfect.  The fact is, we pass along generational curses and tendencies as easy as "passing the potatoes" at dinner.    Especially if we are so protective and defensive, that we will not see our own fears and issues.  We adopt a sense a pride that we are not like "they were" in relation to our own parents without adopting the humility to see our own pain.   The reality we don't see, but our children experience is what we pass down the family tree.  We puff up with pride.  How do we know we are too proud to humbly learn?  Here are some questions to ask: Are we still blaming our parents?  Being aware is one thing, blame is us not taking responsibility....

My Meditation of Joy  Filled with the urgent Chasing the trivial Driven by the emergent Longing for the simple Searching for sanity Away from the broken Within a spiritual reality  Lies a desire unspoken Seeking a salve for healing A time to be set free His Word is revealing The fruit of joy birthed within me  Escape does not bring joy.  Chasing happiness, entertainment and recreation cannot restore. Working harder.  Doing more.  Being more.  Having more or having it all is a lie once bought.  Looking within ourselves deadens, and without indebts. Pursuing joy.   Not from within or without.  Pursing joy from Him.  His joy!  Being with Him.  Seeking Him.  Acknowledging Him.  Delighting in Him and in His creation.   Completely fulfilled and made whole in Him! Sprios Zodhiates' defines joy in this way, "Blessed, possessing the favor of God, that state...