Becoming is a word about process. Becoming this or that. Becoming controlling or anxious or fearful or uptight is a process. It didn't happen overnight so the process of not being these things will be a process as well so this is my new word.
The Art of Unbecoming. Becoming different the same way that I became this way.
Control. A figment of our imagination that keeps us from letting go. This is not the abusive control that I am talking about where someone uses power and control to trap someone. Nevertheless it is control. It is taking responsibility for everyone else but us. It is fixing, rescuing, caretaking, planning, working, worrying, obsessing and taking on too much.
For many of us it comes from a time in our lives when we were out of control or in a place where someone was taking our control away from us through abuse or neglect. Life was chaotic and a fearful place to be so to deal with it we became experts at coming to the rescue and fixing and controlling. We felt unloved and thus unlovable. We might have been uncared for or inconsistently cared for so we relied on ourselves. So...we took matters in our hands.
Maybe that is why the second part of the Lord's prayer after acknowledging God as our Father and as Holy is to ask that His Kingdom come and His Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. His kingdom. His rule. His presence. He is in charge. It is His world. His family. His church. My boys are His. My talent (what there is of it) and my time, energy, money...all His. He is God and I am not.
God- please let Your kingdom come and Your Will be done in my life today and in the lives of those I love and care about and in my world. Help me as I "unbecome" a control freak.
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