HEART'S CRY

So many young children out there who face fear, homelessness, abuse, neglect and abandonment right now. Right now as many of us are heading off to church.  We have lunch in the oven or are planning on going out.  We will get to come home to our safe homes and rest and refuel for the week. Right now I know children who are waking up wondering...what will I eat.  Who is here?  What kind of mood is so and so going to wake up in.  They lie in bed with their hyper vigilant ears and senses waiting for the first signs of the day.  The different sounds of footsteps and voices.  The feelings.  The moods. Right now children are waking up to another invisible day where they walk as ghost throughout our lives.  Wanting attention and avoiding it.  Seeking love and shoving away.  Wanting someone anyone to let them know that they are valuable. But...we are going to our buildings of worship and back to our safe homes.  We ea...

I can't count the times that my family I grew up in would be out shopping and people would:  1.  Count us.  2.  Comment on our poor Dad having six girls and no boys "to do the work."  Little did they know.   Growing up with six girls makes them strong, independent and a tad bull headed.  But...we always wanted a boy.  Each time we found out that Mom was expecting, we hoped and prayed for a boy.  Finally, I brought home a boy from college and married him.   On our one year anniversary we were interning and the family came to visit.  And introduce to us...our boy. This little five year old dark headed, wild eyed and energetic boy.  Of course we all fell in love with him.  He was family.  He is ours.   Even though he had lived in eighteen foster homes up until that point.  Even when he pushed everyone away out of habit and abuse.   Growing up was difficult for...

If I was not gardening before...I sure would be after this trip to the store.  As if you didn't already know...food prices jumped 3.7% in February, 2012 according to CBS news.   As I wondered through the aisle adding up my purchases I wonder how much of the money I will spend will go to those who actually grow it.  Not much...   I have made a decision.   I will be more intentional with planning, shopping and buying food, cleaning supplies, laundry soap and toiletries. It does help that I have a system of some basics that I always keep on hand. When David and I were young married with little boys we experienced some pretty tough times.  I'll never forget digging the deodorant out of the holes to get me through.  That has not happened again.   When Deodorant, toilet paper, soaps, trash bags and supplies go on sale...I buy and put in storage.  I don't wait to pull the last item from cupboard to...

Five Minute Friday:  Health Health: "Condition.  Free from injury or illness or disease. State of something.  Working order." Taken for granted Hoped for Assumed Choice Fragile Health is a choice Spiritual Emotional Mental Physical Financial Choice to face Choice to turn Choice to put one foot in front of the other Choice to invest energy, time and money into oneself. Health is not a whim or a luxury or a fad Health is stewardship Investing Harvesting God help me focus on health today!  

  No stopping time. Like wind Rain River No stopping time. Like standing in the center Of a whirlwind Grasping moments and memories Smells Sounds Touches While I Can't Stop Time I Can Hold on... To Hope To Eternity Memories and Love To Faith! I Can Touch  Hands  Hearts I Can Live While I Can't Stop Time I can Praise Be Grateful Reflect Pass on Share   While I Can't Stop Time I can treasure The time I have! I can enjoy the minutes No Stopping Time. But I Can Capture  and Create The Moments!!!!!

Who knew 21 years ago when I first became a mom that love could be like this?   David and I were full time college students with work on the side.  Our first anniversary found us interning in beautiful Idaho.  That fall we began school as Senior and Sophomore with work filling up the hours we were not studying.  When....ta da.... we found out we would be parents.  Oh My Gosh.... So 21 years ago?  I had just turned 21.   David was working hard to finish school, graduate and find a job. I had puked for 9 months.   When we found out that our baby would come by C-Section we scheduled it like the practical people we are...on David's graduation.  The families would only have  one trip to make. Our Doctor in this tiny rural hospital was a retired OBGYN from California.  The hospital staffed with friends from work and school.  They made booties, clothes and had volunteer Grandmothers to rock the babies in ...

Many people like the idea of family.  The idea of a strong, supportive and close knit family seems to be a longing placed in us.  Some dream about one, some wish for one and some pretend to have one.   However, many of us take for granted our families and instead get stuck on the idea or the picture of our family without doing the work to BE a family.  Our families can't stay confined to a picture or an idea or a thought that brings warm fuzzies or homesickness.   Something we appreciate on holidays or when our lives turn upside down.   To BE a family is a way of thinking; a way of being.  Having a shared sense of ownership for this group of people in our lives.  Having people consistently and unconditionally love and be committed to you is a powerful force.  As children we spend those years enveloped within this group.  Doted on.  Provided for.  A safe place has to exist for a good root system to ...

Waking me up in the middle of the night was a deep longing - a deep moving of my heart...for my oldest son.  For my boys' relationships with each other.  For my parents.  For my sisters and family.  I don't know how our parents survived me- this independent 19 year old's lack of connection.  Moving far away with no phone.  Married.  Having a baby.   Recently I asked, "Was it difficult to keep connected to me?"  Both Mother-in-law and Mom almost couldn't talk because they are laughing so hard. It was my Mother-in-Law who called me and had "the talk" about my lack of compassion and connection.  "Heather.  You have to call us once a week.  You have to call when you receive something from us.  You have to...  And the clincher... "This is how we feel when we don't hear from you." So I made a commitment at that point to pick up the phone more, write an email once a week to all my sisters and Aunts and...

First leg of the journey...done.  To say that facilitating a Financial Peace class was intimidating to David and I would be a huge understatement.  Our group was awesome and has inspired us in so many ways.  We are revisiting the first three classes beginning with savings next week inviting our teens and friends to join us. This first step is about beginning.  Choosing to live differently.  Learning and building a base of knowledge and skills.   Developing a group of friends and support! Next leg of the journey for this group?  We will begin again this fall rotating the facilitating and keeping our focus. For us, the next five years our main focus and priority is to follow our budget, keep an emergency savings and avoid adding to our debt instead of dumping it.    We have a son graduating from high school and heading to play football in college.  Another son will graduate high school in three years.  And...

"It's all about the journey," my husband says.  He also says, "Sometimes you just gotta pull down your pants and skate across the ice."  Another favorite of his is, "It is what it is."  Or my favorite...(biting lip) is "just let me rest a minute." I remember "Brother Myers" from college who was Jesuit Priest  teaching in an evangelical Bible College saying on the day we said goodbye to him..."David.  Keep your child like spirit and humor.  It is a gift."   And I smiled smugly..."That's why I married him."  He was so different from the high strung, uptight, get things done-now...self.  It was exciting.    Until...our world's collided during those first few years.  "Six is sleeping in," I told him.  "A day off?  Who needs that?"  With my "TO-DO's" handed to him the way I used to hand him love notes...let's just say we both dug in our heals.   Like two ...

To me there is something beautiful, restful and fulfilling in the imperfection of nature.  It's real.   Functional.  Beautiful. Spiritual. As I meander around my shed that is center of my garden, the row of dirt along the back fence might look haphazard to some.  Ugly to others.  To me is gorgeous.    My secret? I know the scraps, leaves and grass clippings of last year are buried beneath providing home and food to lots of little critters.  The left over and rotting stalks and leaves along the top creates a home full of happy little guest. Last year I decided to try to "make it look decent" and was digging around to level it off when I unearthed a buried toad still in hibernation.  Lady bugs scattered and worms looked dizzy.  Sometimes trying to fix things just messes up the good that is already happening. In the fall, I resist the urge to pull, cut or throw away the used up vegetation of my butterfly bush, Rus...

Have some neglected acreage out there?  Do I have a project for you!!!!  Our church has several acres that leads up a steep hill to the parking lot.  While the bottom area is beginning to flourish and grow beautiful native grasses; the area that is stressed by the environment, the elements...and people are full of weeds and erosion. We have worked hard to pull, rake and weed eat old dead weeds and now have sandy steep barren ground.  A place waiting for trouble or... for planting.  This problem has been tumbling in my mind while at work or home.  The native grass seed and  wildflower seeds sat by the door ready to go.   Then I remembered my Mom telling me about Lady Bird's seed balls.  Seeds rolled into a mixture of clayey soil with a bit of compost and water.   These balls dry and then are "tossed" onto the area to be reseeded.   Not quite sure what I'm asking them to do... ...

David and I were talking about our lives last night.   Right now we are feeling pretty tired.  Truthfully, we have been overwhelmed, re-evaluating our life's purpose and the next steps of our life.   I said, "Well maybe we are getting to that mid-life phase."  So we looked up some information and SHOCKER...We are considered mid-lifers.  When did this happen?   Are you serious?    Us? We were the nontraditional (nice way of saying it) Bible college students.  After a few months we jumped into marriage knowing that we were who God wanted for each other so "let's just do it." (We would NOT recommend our timeline.)   With a brand new baby boy and in spite of the terrifying  suffocating fear of failure -we moved to take a $75 a week ministry position with $260 student loan payments. Change was scary but we had the courage to make it.  We never felt like life was happening to us but rath...

Girls...this is just for us. At times we long for a knight in shining armor to come along and take us away.   To protect and cover us.  To provide for and to love us.  Meeting our need of adventure and romance.   Meeting our desire for being wanted. This desire isn't because of... or show in any way that we are weak and needy.  In fact, if the truth be told we are tougher than nails.  Strong.  Resilient.  Enduring.  Persevering.  We can do it on our own if we want to.   But I believe we were made to not want to.  You don't believe me? Then why is it so much easier on a Saturday to just get stuff done when our husbands are not there but the energy that it takes to ask them (a few times) for help is frustrating & exhausting? We do not want patronized or minimized.  Our desire.  Or mine anyway is to be treasured.  Appreciated.  Adored.  Treated as if I am the most im...

Suck it up! My lecture to me this morning to stop whining and hanging out in the dumps over graduation/college adjustments.   As Mama Gill (which I adore) has become my name and I tell wrestlers and football players to get it done and not make excuses.   Why am I the one whining on the bench?  I'm three warriors' Mama and one hot husband's wife!  Just because I might soon become an empty nester doesn't mean my nest is past use.  I just need to remodel!  Good grief.  Anyone else in this stage of life in my blogging community? So my poor youngest is going to get the best and worst of me in huge doses!!!! And my husband?  I'm looking forward to hiking and making our plans for a weekend hide out!  

I'm still reading "The Power of Less" book and attempting its implementation in my life.  Prioritizing goals and eliminating those less important and focusing on the most important is "important."   However, for me while buried in the middle of trying to get stuff done..the Three Most Important Task is my favorite.  Do you find overrun with task and things to do on your "things to do list?"   I have tasks that need done for each area of my life on a daily basis.  In trying to organize, I tend to complicate.  I've separated task by the A,B,C method but end up with lots of A's.  Chunking them by family, church, work etc. just adds depth.   A Mary Kay Director once taught us to create a three ring binder and on each day put the three most important things to do for your business.  Leo Babouta teaches the three most important task.   Simply make a list of all of the things that need done and each day pic...

I get emotional at the weirdest times.  Sitting at my table or working in my yard and I just begin to cry.  Ridiculous.  "Where did that come from?"  My middle son graduates in six weeks, my big son is far away from me and my little one...isn't little anymore and drives me around. "Why are you crying again?" my husband asks.  "Cause I am ...o.k." is my standard answer. Why am I crying? I'm crying because I love and treasure these three babies of mine.  Sometimes my joy, pride and love just spills out.  I'm blessed beyond measure. I'm crying because I don't know what to do with this tide of feelings.  Proud.  Happy. Head held high.  Knowing that my boys are hard workers, love learning, are thoughtful leaders and love their mama! I'm crying because I miss holding them.  Because at the strangest times I want to touch them and just make sure we are connected and they are good. I'm crying because I was a stu...