Committed to Staying Connected

Waking me up in the middle of the night was a deep longing - a deep moving of my heart...for my oldest son.  For my boys' relationships with each other.  For my parents.  For my sisters and family. 

I don't know how our parents survived me- this independent 19 year old's lack of connection.  Moving far away with no phone.  Married.  Having a baby.  

Recently I asked, "Was it difficult to keep connected to me?"  Both Mother-in-law and Mom almost couldn't talk because they are laughing so hard.

It was my Mother-in-Law who called me and had "the talk" about my lack of compassion and connection.  "Heather.  You have to call us once a week.  You have to call when you receive something from us.  You have to...  And the clincher... "This is how we feel when we don't hear from you."

So I made a commitment at that point to pick up the phone more, write an email once a week to all my sisters and Aunts and a commitment to strengthening attachments. 

Don't get me wrong, I adore my family and think about them every day.  I hold them close to my heart.  But I have not been good at keeping connected.

So what is connection?   

1. a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it)  2. the state of being connected

What is attachment?

Dynamic and long term relationships! 

"attachment means an affectional bond or tie between an individual and an attachment figure (usually a caregiver). Such bonds may be reciprocal between two adults, but between a child and a caregiver these bonds are based on the child's need for safety, security and protection, paramount in infancy and childhood."

We all need a secure base!  

A place to always belong.  

A strong, dynamic, enduring, unshakable bond and attachment creates a secure base and sense of confidence for families to be able to jump from and a place for us to swim back to.  

 

A place to remember where we have come from and who we are.

 Relationships that are responsive, adaptable and authentic keeps our eyes off ourselves and makes us all around nicer people.

Family connections and attachment keeps our head in reality and away from talking points, shallow relating and thinking.

Families are the backbone of our culture.