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Finding Rest in Imperfection


To me there is something beautiful, restful and fulfilling in the imperfection of nature.  It's real.   Functional.  Beautiful. Spiritual.

As I meander around my shed that is center of my garden, the row of dirt along the back fence might look haphazard to some.  Ugly to others.  To me is gorgeous.    My secret? I know the scraps, leaves and grass clippings of last year are buried beneath providing home and food to lots of little critters.  The left over and rotting stalks and leaves along the top creates a home full of happy little guest.

Last year I decided to try to "make it look decent" and was digging around to level it off when I unearthed a buried toad still in hibernation.  Lady bugs scattered and worms looked dizzy.  Sometimes trying to fix things just messes up the good that is already happening.

In the fall, I resist the urge to pull, cut or throw away the used up vegetation of my butterfly bush, Russian sage or grasses to allow them the chance to do what they are supposed to do. This brings me to yesterday.

I spent time with a young mother in the process of finding her own way.  I wish I could see through her eyes and her through mine.  What I know is this; if she will continue to put roots deep into the ground and keep her eyes on her future that this time of dormancy and ugliness will become compost for future growth.  She will eventually push out the weeds competing for her attention.

I wish I could fix things for her.  Pull her from the situation she is in and transplant her into a spot where she can see her own worth without being surrounded by weeds and dead growth.  

As my husband listened to my Heart's Cry, he said..."she has to find her own way."   Make her own garden.   "It is up to her," he reminded me gently.

What I was really seeing wrapped up in that blanket on the church table was me.  My picture was distorted.  

This baby girl smiling and ready to roll (literally) who was looking to her mother to change their family trajectory.  Doesn't she know, others might say, that this Mom doesn't have a chance to get past the gravity of her history to project her little family into a new place?

I know she can.   If she can place her trust and life into God's hands who can strengthen and give her wisdom.  If she can begin to trust others' perception of her and not believe those tapes in her head.

My mom did.

Now I know why she loves her garden so much.  

It's a place of beauty...taking the past and creating the future.  

Exactly what God is so amazing at doing in individual lives and gardens.






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