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Can't just like the Idea of Family-Have to be One!


Many people like the idea of family.  The idea of a strong, supportive and close knit family seems to be a longing placed in us.  Some dream about one, some wish for one and some pretend to have one.  

However, many of us take for granted our families and instead get stuck on the idea or the picture of our family without doing the work to BE a family.  Our families can't stay confined to a picture or an idea or a thought that brings warm fuzzies or homesickness.   Something we appreciate on holidays or when our lives turn upside down.  

To BE a family is a way of thinking; a way of being.  Having a shared sense of ownership for this group of people in our lives.  Having people consistently and unconditionally love and be committed to you is a powerful force. 

As children we spend those years enveloped within this group.  Doted on.  Provided for.  A safe place has to exist for a good root system to be built.  A greenhouse where seedlings become established.  

Then we get transplanted.  In college, work, service.   Shock comes as we try to sink our roots into a new location to find the purpose and plan for our lives.  Sure we are still connected to that piece of land called home.  But it is different.  We've moved from dependence to independence.  Finally on to interdependence.  Our own person.  Our tap root settled.  

This is a critical time.  A time to leave and become your own person.  Yet also a time to move from the carefree and think of ourselves children to the doing what's right and picking up the responsibility adult.

Let go. Hold on.  Need. Don't need.  Independence. Dependence.  Free. Belonging.  Alone.  Lonely.  We can do it better.  We ask for advice.  

And so it goes. 

This is the time to decide how those family connections are going to be.  

The time to ask ourselves...  Am I going to BE a family or simply like the idea of a family.

Then we grow up.  We become adults.  Making our own way.  Family relationships change.  Become more flexible and adaptive.  Appreciating the past and moving independently into our future.  

Many times we begin families of our own and life continues to cycle.

But through it all...Is family.  

Changing.  Growing. Being.  Loving.  Accepting.  Committed. 

 Family.



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