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Learning in the Doing and the Failing: A Youth Group Experiment


As adults, we gripe about the lack of leadership and initiative by our country's youth and yet we never let them truly lead.

Letting go is tough to do.  Letting go and facing failure, tripping and falling on our faces and seeing the very ugliest part of us is a painful thing.  However, it is in this process that we face ourselves and see what we need to see.

My youth group is patiently participating in a research study!  I am typically the only official "youth leader" and yet my kids are growing in their leadership abilities and insight exponentially. 

I'd like to say it has been smooth and easy going.  That would be a lie.  Many many Wednesday nights I go home in tears and collapse on my bed.

But then there are nights like tonight. 

 Two groups led the night and planned the lesson, the activities and the homework.  I didn't do it.  I didn't micromanage or second guess and in fact, I didn't have a clue.  I didn't even check on them before hand.

I was at church early finishing chili when the group came to put up posters, cut up paper and did other preparations for the night.  They worked together.  My heart sang as I watched them ask each other questions, huddle in a little group as they discussed the next step and stepped up to the leadership role courageously.

As the youth group trickled in and followed the directions on the poster by putting their names on pieces of paper into a drawing.  They gathered in the kitchen eating a salad and bars brought by two of the youth to share.  Soon my two groups began the activities.  

It was stressful for them.  They were amazing.

Interaction and engagement happened.  So did lots of talking and goofing around and chaos.  

My favorite was when each student was asked to put down two strengths and a weakness put as a strength so the group would have to guess.  Do you know how many students had never thought of a strength or a weakness?  It was uncomfortable and thus had some acting out.

Two of my students are athiest and very clear in stating that they do not believe in God.  One whispered to me during group if it was o.k. if she was honest in her questioning.  

One of my older students had assured her that it was fine and that we should be honest and real and that she was accepted.  Very cool.

We debriefed afterward in the sanctuary where we shared frustrations and lessons learned.  At first it was easy to blame others and generalize the group.  Their frustrations poured out.  

Then they began to discuss with each other what had worked and what didn't.  What went well and what they saw that was growth.  How they saw themselves in the listeners.  

It is easy to see ourselves in a perfect light when everyone is compliantly marching in step to the beat of our drum.  

To engage many individuals in an authentic way for the purpose of growing and learning and exploring our own beliefs, character and life is a very vulnerable and humbling experience.  

It takes great courage.  

That is what I saw in my youth group tonight!




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