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To My Boys


Your Mom's heart is crying for you tonight.

As I dream of your little chubby hands wrapped around my hair and the sounds of your laughter as you raced around the house.  The voices and your presence, I long for.

I miss you.  Sometimes I miss you so much that my heart aches.

This growing up is hard to do...for me.  
As I write this letter to you.  I dream.

I dream about the men you are becoming.  The woman that will hold your heart and the children that will call you Dad.  The men and women that you will inspire.

I dream about your undivided heart surrendered to the One and Only God.  Because I know my sweet boys that it is only He, who can fulfill the real cries of our heart.

My dreams are filled with joy and laughter.  Of you coming together at Christmas-with your families.  To tell stories about each other when you were young.  To struggle to know each other.  

That you will come to realize that your differences in strengths are your greatest assets as brothers.  Someday, you will know that it was God's design to raise you together.  So alike and yet so different.  

To make you strong enough to stand and soft enough to bend.

The dreams of your Mom's heart is that you will still feel my heartbeat.  

 The same heartbeat that lulled you to sleep while I carried you and the one that sang you to sleep, is the one that is still with you tonight.  

I will love you forever and always.

Today it dawned on me that in ten years, I will be 53, Dad 56 and you will be 26, 30 and 32.  Who knew that life would go this quickly.

The struggles that seemed so encompassing when we were in college and falling in love and raising babies and keeping it all together, seems today like little bumps on the road.  Small.  Insignificant.  

And yet, together...part of the road we have traveled that binds us to each other.

While I dream of your life filled with joy, I know that you will struggle.  

I pray that your struggles will be curbs that will turn you toward God and to your family.  

That the bumps along the way will be what aligns and shapes and strengthens.  

That your struggle will be an incubation time for your becoming.  And your becoming into being.  Your being into leading.  

Just for tonight, I dream that wherever you are...you feel my heartbeat with you.

 




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