HEART'S CRY

Congruence.  I'm having a love hate relationship with this word. I went to bed with congruence and woke up conflicted. What does it mean?  How does it impact my life and the outcomes of my work?  As my amazing elementary teacher said, "look it up."  So I did. Congruence, as defined by Merriam-Webster is, " the quality or state of agreeing, coinciding, or being congruent. Matching or in agreement with something." Consistent, conformable, compatible and coherent. Roots: Middle English, from Latin congruere to come together, fit in, agree. It is a math term, so of course foreign to me! Integrity comes to mind.  So I looked that up as well. "The state of being whole and undivided. Unimpaired condition.  Soundness.  Complete.  All according to Merriam-Webster.  Oxford states it is from the Latin word meaning whole.   Integrity is a skill. One source states, " integrity is revealed when your actions and ch...

Dejunking priorities seems to be a constant process. Maybe this is the point of my de-junking marathon...to realize it is a process and not a one and done deal.  What I'm Learning: 1.  To keep it natural, routine and simple. It is within me to complicate.  I'm a pro!  Giving myself permission to simply de-junk within my daily routine and daily environments is a relief.  I don't need to add it to the schedule or the to do list. 2.  I need to de-junk continuously.  I'm working hard to deal with paper once.  To create systems and procedures.  Even if the system is a pile! 3.  De-junking is a matter of the heart first. Making it a priority is a priority. Natural.  Process.  Continuous.  Routine.   My mantra for de-junking the next six days.

Decide...  I am. I cannot be one way or another anymore. I cannot be pushed away and pulled close. I cannot be torn and together.   I cannot face and look away. I cannot be here and there. I cannot be the person you want me to be, because you don't even know who that person is. I cannot make you happy nor make you mad. I cannot put one foot in front of the other while chained to the floor. I cannot meet the expectations of your insecurity. I cannot succeed and fail; try and fall; drive and be along for the ride. I cannot be in charge without the charge or be responsible without the responsibility.   I cannot submit and lead; follow and do. I cannot.  I cannot.  I cannot.  I cannot. Decide...  I am. I will be one way. I'll walk one way. I'll follow or I'll lead. I'll submit or I'll have authority. I'll have the responsibility with the leadership or I'll do my pa...

I grew up in an amazing country churches led my some pretty amazing men and women, who came to the end of the earth.   The kind-hearted old Pastor whose gentle hand greeted us every Sunday morning.  I don't even remember but his name but I remember his voice when he sang, "Just as I am," each Sunday.  One of those times, I gave my heart to the Lord.  I remember coming in the back step to the baptismal on the day I was baptized and the line of neighbors who hugged me after.   Pastor Frank came to our little country church at a very difficult and important time in my pre-teen life.  He came with his really weird drawl, foreign culture and three peculiar and amazing kids.  Of all of his family, his Mother, reached my soul.  From Georgia to South Dakota they traipsed.  I loved the light and love of their home. "Folks" from their home church helped build a parsonage on to the trailer house beside the church as a mission outreach. ...

My puppy loves me.  And he has a thing with my feet. If I'm reading at my chair, he brings his toys and treasures and lays on my feet. When I work at the table, he sleeps on my feet under it. If I'm the first one to bed, he is at my feet until his boy (my son) takes him to bed. Something about his lovingly laying at my feet is endearing.  A simple act of love and adoration. Seeing myself at the "feet of Jesus," in this simple act of puppy love and submission.   I bring my treasures, burdens, hopes, dreams and pains to Jesus and lay them on His feet.  He reaches down and pats my head, reminding me to leave it there and he loves me. Check out Luke 10:38-42.  Mary sat at His feet, without distraction and with adoration.  Lord, help me to be still and sit quietly at your feet today.  Allow me to see how much you love me, just for me being me and bringing me to you.   I want to Simply Want To BE WITH YOU. ...

Since its Sunday, I thought a De-Junk free day was in order.   As I waited for the kids in the "kids room" at church, I began sorting the crayons from the craft items.  Soon little ones joined me and we began making art!  Glue, sticks, jewels...oh  my.  Some of the boys were playing and I looked around.   Guilt crept in.  "What about the lesson?  And the structure?  And the this and that?"  You know all of the expectations we think others have of us. I looked around again.  I smiled.  What better lesson could God give any of us?  To be together.  To enjoy the children.  To delight in simply being together.   To be safe and loved means learning to children.  And guess what?  By the end of the day, they had learned a very difficult verse in a matter of moments. A wise older Pastor said to me once, "Heather, you have to let go of your expectations of others."...

Provacative and the only way I can describe it. I grew up in a symbiotic relationship to the land.  I'm part of the land the land is part of me. One would think I grew up in a hippie commune.  When it comes down to it ranchers, cowboys and hippies have some crazy commonalities.  Of course, my Dad was extremely unconventional and progressive for his time. (They did not seem to have much in common, when I brought my hippie husband home to meet my Marlboro man Dad.) When I moved off the land to follow the call I knew God has placed on my heart...I felt unplugged.  It wasn't just the homesickness and missing people.  I missed my land.  The whisper of the grasses and the feeling before a weather change.  The comfort of the prairie.   Who could understand my need to be outside to be comforted or a breeze to spark my imagination? I was odd.  I was comforted by the ebbs and flow of the land and I needed to stay in touch wi...

In teaching Circle of Security-Parent Class, I am learning more about myself then I would like.  Rather, I'm facing myself more directly then I like.  I'm standing naked in front of a mirror and want to forget what I see. I have met the enemy, and it is... me.  James 1:23-25 states, "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.   But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.…" I find it easy to rest in the hearing, without moving to the being.   I hear, take a quick peak with one eye covered and then "go do something."   Being and Being with is a very anxious proposal to me.  Being with some...

The scariest room in the house....my laundry room.   I know things live there that I don't want to know about.  Clothes and socks go MIA.  I had to brave it yesterday.  So while there, I worked on dejunking. Do I really need two open bags of laundry soap pods?  Or half full bottles of fabric softener sitting on the shelf? The other half of a missing pair of socks or shoes...ARE NOT COMING BACK.  They went to the trash.  Since that felt so good, I tucked a new trash bag under my arm and went to fold and pair the socks.  Hole?  Stain?  "I've folded this shirt for my son five times and I don't think he wore it once..." shirts and clothes went into the trash. By the way, how many hoodies does one boy need or coats and gloves does a husband need?   Then I found the grocery bag filled with baggies and aluminum foil, so I took it to the food shelves.  This started a completely new de-junking spree as ...

Today's de-clutter was all about attitude and letting go. My mind is cluttered.  My relationships are cluttered.  Priorities crowded and piled high on my mind. Letting go of what others expect of me and my own expectations is hard to do. Ditching: Saying, "I can't do it." Saying, "I have too much to do." Allowing others to set my daily agenda through calendars, phone calls and emails.

Mindfulness is all the rage and has taken center stage as the provider of peace in our present out of whack world.   Does mindfulness for mindfulness sake, simply makes us "out of our mind," I wonder?  Emptying our mind only makes us empty and without the true provider of lasting peace.   Peace that exists when everything is falling apart.  Peace that passes any understanding.  Peace that is outside of any mindful activity we can pursue or any mindfulness we accept. Mindlessness is lazy, apathetic and dangerous!  It is not thinking at all.  Merely, going with whatever happens. Mindfulness in the eastern flavors and religions in my understanding empties the mind because it does not believe in a God who can be known.  Buddhism, from what I've read, is total presence to the moment.  I'm trying to understand this and wonder if it is a laying aside of the mind?  To separate us from our thoughts? Again...out...