Skip to main content

Reflection on Service: Broken and Spilled Out





Reflection on service.  

My husband and I have been in ministry twenty three years.  What do we have to show for it?  You may be sorely disappointed.  I know we are. 

We are unlikely Pastors.  If you ask friends from college, who would have been voted most likely to stay in ministry, it would not have been us.  And still, God called us.

My husband was a new believer who did not grow up in any church.  He came from a broken and troubled family and a broken and troubled past.  I had recently recommitted my life to Christ and had not begun to address and deal with my own past and was very needy and insecure.

And still, God called us together and to His service.

For years, we tried to convince ourselves and others we were worthy to serve.  We felt we had so much to prove.

We put up facades, tried to cover up the broken spots, worked ourselves to death and gave up a thousand times.

God had called us.  Right?
The idealistic expectations of our youth have now been broken. We have let go of expectations and outcomes. Not in a beautiful sweeping of our hands kind of way.  No, we let go in a ripped away kicking and screaming.

 God called us to serve.

We would love to believe our service has made a difference or has been a vehicle for others to know God's love and healing.

And yet, the reality is we are compost.  

Broken material for God to use.  God called us to stay.  
We stayed as fruit and leaves grew and then dropped.  We stayed when we were being pruned. 

We stayed after we were broken.  



Great freedom can be found in brokenness.  In being broken and poured out.  In letting go of all outcomes and expectations.

Serving in our brokenness.

Service from a broken and poured out servant is a sweet fragrance of worship to God.



http://www.caramiasart.com/untitled1.html

What can the broken offer in service?

Everything they have.
"A woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table."  Matthew 26:7


Broken and Spilled Out

One day a plain village woman
Driven by love for her Lord
Recklessly poured out a valuable essence
Disregarding the scorn
And once it was broken and spilled out
A fragrance filled all the room
Like a prisoner released from his shackles
Like a spirit set free from the tomb
Broken and spilled out
Just for love of you, Jesus
My most precious treasure
Lavished on thee
Broken and spilled out
And poured at your feet
In sweet abandon
Let me be spilled out
And used up for Thee
Lord you were God’s precious treasure
His loved and his own perfect Son
Sent here to show me the love of the Father
Just for love it was done
And though you were perfect and holy
You gave up yourself willingly
You spared no expense for my pardon
You were used up and wasted for me
Broken and spilled out
Just for love of me Jesus
God’s most precious treasure
Lavished on me
Broken and spilled out
And poured at my feet
In sweet abandon
Lord you were spilled out
And used up for me
Words by Gloria Gaither, Music by Bill George
Copyright 1984 Gaither Music Co./Yellow House Music. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
- See more at: http://www.stevegreenministries.org/product/broken-and-spilled-out-3/#sthash.3H6GSjxj.dpuf

Broken and Spilled Out

One day a plain village woman
Driven by love for her Lord
Recklessly poured out a valuable essence
Disregarding the scorn
And once it was broken and spilled out
A fragrance filled all the room
Like a prisoner released from his shackles
Like a spirit set free from the tomb
Broken and spilled out
Just for love of you, Jesus
My most precious treasure
Lavished on thee
Broken and spilled out
And poured at your feet
In sweet abandon
Let me be spilled out
And used up for Thee
Lord you were God’s precious treasure
His loved and his own perfect Son
Sent here to show me the love of the Father
Just for love it was done
And though you were perfect and holy
You gave up yourself willingly
You spared no expense for my pardon
You were used up and wasted for me
Broken and spilled out
Just for love of me Jesus
God’s most precious treasure
Lavished on me
Broken and spilled out
And poured at my feet
In sweet abandon
Lord you were spilled out
And used up for me
Words by Gloria Gaither, Music by Bill George
Copyright 1984 Gaither Music Co./Yellow House Music. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
- See more at: http://www.stevegreenministries.org/product/broken-and-spilled-out-3/#sthash.3H6GSjxj.dpuf

"Broken Dreams"

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my Friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched the back and cried,
"How could You be so slow"-
"My child," He said,
"What could I do? You never did let go."
Author: Unknown


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Starting a Journey

September 3, 2010 Originally posted How to Begin a Journey 1. Pick a destination or simply start. 2. Plan a detailed itinerary or just take the first step. 3. Pack everything or travel lightly. I am choosing to just begin. To leave behind the baggage, pick up a day pack, and go. Several nights before we moved to Ogallala, I was praying about the transition when I heard that still, small voice of God. In that moment, I knew He heard my Heart's Cry. He hears every whispered plea, every unspoken longing. If I truly sit with that truth, it humbles me. What courage, boldness, passion, and decisiveness I have when I remember: He never leaves or forsakes me. He provides for my every need according to His riches in glory. My hope is to encourage you He hears your Heart's Cry too.
2 comments
Read more

1940 Canned Apple Butter: Family Root Cellar

I loved exploration as a child.  From opening the door and going down the stairs to get something from my Grandma's root cellar or exploring old homesteads while checking cows.  I credit my Mom with teaching us to appreciate those things that represented the people who had gone before us. When I moved with my husband and boys to a house on the family ranch-I began exploring immediately.  This was the house my Aunt and Uncle lived in during my childhood.  My Grandparents had lived there and many other families dating back to 1900 when it was built.   With two little boys in tow, I made my way to the root cellar and found a treasure cove.  Old text books belonging to the original family who had been a teacher, the original medicine cupboard, tools, trash and memorabilia.   I felt like an archeologist sifting through layers of debris representing generations and culture.  And I was.  I hauled truckloads of trash to the dump (some...
4 comments
Read more

Diabetes-Opened to Disease OR Open to Connecting to my Strengths

I've tried living in denial for two years after the big D diagnoses was handed over.  Honestly, I just don't want to talk about it.  Outwardly seemly calm and disconnected from it.  Inwardly terrified. As a plant that is stressed is open to disease, injury and death so to our bodies are.  I opened myself up to this.  Stress, lack of sleep, bad nutrition, overweight and lack of exercise.  For some reason I believed that if I ran fast enough and worked hard enough, I would outrun my family genes.  The tiny room in the back of my brain locked with a key has kept the fear of this disease at bay even though I could hear its screaming when life quieted down. My Aunt died piece by piece to this disease.  First a heart attack and quadruple by-pass.  Then a toe.  Next a foot.  Legs came next along with more heart attacks.  Kidneys shutting down.  She died very young. When I was little, my Aunt Ally gave herself s...
4 comments
Read more