Reflection on service today is all about fear or faith.
I believe one of Satan's biggest lies he planted in the world is the spirit of fear and intimidation.
And since he is the father of lies, he is pretty darn good at it.
HOWEVER, God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and self-control!
AND, satan has no power over us. He can tease, tempt, lie and try to steal, kill and destroy, but God says we are in His hands.
I have always been a fearful person and remember true terrifying moments and those I made up in my head.
Once, it was my midnight shift to go to the river and change water for our irrigation on the corn and alfalfa. It was a few miles from my house and very very dark. I drove down the road along the edge of the irrigation ditch toward where I needed to change it. Experience taught me to be cautious as the road could be flooded and I would be stuck. (I had been stuck and filled in ruts before.) Slowly, I meandered down the road to the field.
Then, the fear hit. It always felt like a vicegrip around my middle and caused me not to breathe at all.
Reminding myself to breath, I stepped out of the car and headed to the ditch. Have you ever been in a cornfield in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere? The constant movement of the night creates quite the scary orchestra! "What is there to be afraid of," I ask myself.
I should have never answered. Let's see... drunk guys lost while fishing on the river, rattle snakes, coyotes, getting stuck, doing it wrong, car not starting, rattle snakes...
Next step in the fear parade was, blowing things out of proportion. Howling of coyotes seemed to be coming from the cornfield and rustling grasses were rattling snakes. Shadows were people sneaking up on me. The moving corn, bugs and night critters scuffling through the rows seemed so ominous. And I was all on my own.
Only stubbornness kept me moving forward toward that stupid ditch. I would not leave until it was done. I can say, when it was done, I ran insanely to my car.
Once in, I rolled up the windows and locked the door. "This is stupid," I say to myself and force myself to roll down the windows and resist the urge to turn on the engine and race home.
Crickets, bugs, night critters, the rustling of a gentle breeze through the corn and the far away call of a coyote filled the night. The night sky filled with stars that seemed to reach low enough for me to touch. God IS big. Peace filled my mind and my car and I savored the moments with God as I drove up the hill. I wasn't alone and I felt His touch.
When I kept my mind on the what ifs and the monstors both outside and within me, I allowed fear to rule.
Once, I remembered who God is and who He is in my life the night was peaceful.
So now as I embark on new adventures in my life, the nasty vice grip of fear is choking me. Takes so much energy. It's stupid. God IS big. I'm not alone.
He will meet all of my needs according to His riches in glory.
To serve out of faith is to let go of the outcome and submit myself to His amazing hands. To serve out of fear is to be self-absorbed and self-protective.
Please God, let me serve you out of FAITH!
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