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Facing Lonliness and Change Full Frontal


Image result for image of throwing caution to the wind

Extreme change demands extreme strategies.  So we are facing it.  

Full frontal.  Head on!  





  It's time to live without abandon....on purpose.
 
Being the mother of three adult men is the highest joy of my life.  It is also the deepest and most suffocating loneliness.  I had no idea!  And maybe its just me.  They are completely independent self sufficient beings.  

They don't need ideas or my great wisdom (as if they ever did) and they certainly don't need me to "do" anything.  What's a "doer/fixer" mom supposed to do??

Pout?  Fester?  Chase them around the proverbial Circle of Security?  Be prideful of my awesome parenting skills?  Nope.  I know it wasn't me.  No healthy coping skills here.

I need to deal!  Accept.  Be With.

To have such searing emotion on both extremes of the spectrum is beyond my expression and understanding.

It is a ripping away and an expanding experience.  I know I can either wallow in self absorption and pity or face this new time of my life full frontal. 

 Expose my raw heart to this new life God has for me or hide behind old patterns of identity seems to be the choice I am facing.  Stand exposed to the new future and the millions of new choices facing me with terror and fear or look behind me with guilt, nostalgia and making my own reality up as I go?

When I was young, there was a time or two, that I through caution and my shirt to the wind and "let it all hang out" so to speak.

It is time for this mother of three, wife of 27 years, pastor's wife and professional coach to "let it go."  To be who I am.  Not who I was or who I am becoming.

To accept where I am with a rawness of fearless abandon and face it all.  Full frontal!



 
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