Skip to main content

Awakening Desire


You know the one.  The one that is so intimate and strong that it aches in your belly?  

A passion.  A dream that has been with you since you were a young, kept tucked away like a buried treasure.  Hiding it from even those closest to you for fear that it might not be taken seriously.

When we are still...it kicks.  Wanting to be let out.

We marry and we put ourselves aside to begin our family.  Our children are born and any thoughts of self are shoved to the back shelf.  Those rough and exhausting nights tempt us to take a peek at it.  Fear slams the door.

What do we think will happen?
What are we so afraid of?
Where do we think this desire will take us?

So we pin it down.  Shut it up.  We don't feed it or give it air and soon it quits crying out.

Then we wonder why life has become boring.  
Where is that girl that would go toe to toe with any challenge put before her?  
Why can't we start the fire that once burned?

Passion is not an enemy or something to be afraid of.  The deep desire of our heart is usually one placed in us by the God who made us.  

Hiding it and denying it hurts us.  Letting it have full reign does as well.  

Sweet friend.  Young woman.  Old woman.  Whomever you are...don't hide those desires that God has placed within your very roots.

My secret desires?

I want to preach and build rural missions at home and abroad.

I want to own land again.  To have chickens, cows and to be close to my horses.  To walk in large garden or a grove of trees whenever I want.  To have a greenhouse.  A small place to write with white curtains and a loft.

I want to build a greenhouse for families.  Single moms with little girls and boys.  A place for young families to have time to heal and grow within shelter and with support until they are strong enough to be transplanted.

I want to get my Masters Degree.

I want to teach.

Whew...  that was freeing.

What is it friends and family that is the Cry of Your Heart?  That desire that you are scared to voice?
Let's walk together and be that support.  A tribe!




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Starting a Journey

September 3, 2010 Originally posted How to Begin a Journey 1. Pick a destination or simply start. 2. Plan a detailed itinerary or just take the first step. 3. Pack everything or travel lightly. I am choosing to just begin. To leave behind the baggage, pick up a day pack, and go. Several nights before we moved to Ogallala, I was praying about the transition when I heard that still, small voice of God. In that moment, I knew He heard my Heart's Cry. He hears every whispered plea, every unspoken longing. If I truly sit with that truth, it humbles me. What courage, boldness, passion, and decisiveness I have when I remember: He never leaves or forsakes me. He provides for my every need according to His riches in glory. My hope is to encourage you He hears your Heart's Cry too.

1940 Canned Apple Butter: Family Root Cellar

I loved exploration as a child.  From opening the door and going down the stairs to get something from my Grandma's root cellar or exploring old homesteads while checking cows.  I credit my Mom with teaching us to appreciate those things that represented the people who had gone before us. When I moved with my husband and boys to a house on the family ranch-I began exploring immediately.  This was the house my Aunt and Uncle lived in during my childhood.  My Grandparents had lived there and many other families dating back to 1900 when it was built.   With two little boys in tow, I made my way to the root cellar and found a treasure cove.  Old text books belonging to the original family who had been a teacher, the original medicine cupboard, tools, trash and memorabilia.   I felt like an archeologist sifting through layers of debris representing generations and culture.  And I was.  I hauled truckloads of trash to the dump (some...

Diabetes-Opened to Disease OR Open to Connecting to my Strengths

I've tried living in denial for two years after the big D diagnoses was handed over.  Honestly, I just don't want to talk about it.  Outwardly seemly calm and disconnected from it.  Inwardly terrified. As a plant that is stressed is open to disease, injury and death so to our bodies are.  I opened myself up to this.  Stress, lack of sleep, bad nutrition, overweight and lack of exercise.  For some reason I believed that if I ran fast enough and worked hard enough, I would outrun my family genes.  The tiny room in the back of my brain locked with a key has kept the fear of this disease at bay even though I could hear its screaming when life quieted down. My Aunt died piece by piece to this disease.  First a heart attack and quadruple by-pass.  Then a toe.  Next a foot.  Legs came next along with more heart attacks.  Kidneys shutting down.  She died very young. When I was little, my Aunt Ally gave herself s...