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Necessary Endings and the Election


I grew up in a home of passionate political convictions.  Convictions directly opposing most of the people in our community.  A home of extreme convictions.  My Grandpa came from Sweden and was as left on the political spectrum as any I have ever known.

In fact, this election and the shock of those with my parents' conviction has triggered some of my own feelings of fear.  I remember vividly when President Reagan was elected.  Standing at the old swing-set at my one room school with the cold icy fear of what was to come.  

The emotional responses from my family was one of fear.  Being the oldest and grasping my role tightly, I absorbed the fear of my family.  Would the world end?  How awful were the people who voted for him, I wondered. 

This election triggered some of those old feelings as I watched sane people...go crazy.  People who love their children...terrify them unwittingly.  

I struggled to process this.  Overwhelmed with the past and the present colliding.  Until anger burst through the surface.  

"Don't do this to your children," I screamed.  "Please don't take away their childhood and put your fears on them."  "Don't make your hang ups, their hang ups."

Fears, anger, joy and shame are all emotions.  Emotions make us human.  We have to accept them, process them and sort them.  However, THEY ARE OURS TO HANDLE.  

Emotions are owned by the people having them.  Honestly, we have to be accountable to how we handle them.  Putting them on our children, until they are sick with the enormity of chaos is shameful. 

Accountability is sorely lacking in this nation of ours.  It is time we grow up.  What is the necessary ending needed in this election process?  

The ending of feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming everyone else for our problems. 

On all sides of the political spectrum.  

 It is time to put the election behind us and move forward in the future and to the future.  

My steps to processing.

1.  Accept it.  Simply accept feelings and positions as if I am inviting friends to the table to have a conversation.

2.  What am I feeling?   Feelings are not good or bad.  They just are.  And they are sign posts of needs.

3.  What are my choices?  Options?  Responsibilities?  What is mine to own and what is NOT mine to own?

4.  Make a decision.  Choose Win/Wins and not Win/Lose options.

5.  Reality check it.  Can I do it?  So for example, I was going to never see certain people in my family again.  Ever.  Realistic?  No.  Not at all.  

What I can control is my feelings, my choices and be accountable to my actions.  

Can you image what change would happen if each of us organized our own feelings so we could truly support our children and others in theirs?  

The security and hope would radiate from us.

Am I there yet?  No.  But I am on the road!!!!




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