HEART'S CRY

My son leaves again for 10 days of of field in the Air Force.  Although he is living away from me...when I know he is leaving for field...my heart hurts.   My twenty year old son is an amazing young man and I admire him so much for taking the risk to do what he is called to do.  He could have taken an easier field that he knew he would succeed at. This highly intelligent young man could have done anything.  He could have quit the last year and a half of intensive training.  I would have.   I appreciate his service to our country and his commitment to his family.  I appreciate that he is doing what he feels is right.  I'm proud of having boys who are brave, courageous, bold, adventurous with insatiable curiosity.   This same boy who snuck out his window on a bed sheet as a 4 year old with his little brother.  This 4 year old who climbed out toy room window to see if he could climb down the cedar tree.  This 12 year old w...

"To make little girls like you ask questions," was a frequent answer to my constant questions.   I have a deep desire to know and to learn.  To know people...really know them.  To learn new things.  To expand my thinking and to wonder about what could be... drives me.  Good thing I married someone with an inquisitive mind who reads as widely as his interest range.  That's what I love about Mondays!  The chance to meet new people, learn new things and see further. We can't arbitrarily add new skills to a back pack that we simply carry around and hope we remember to use them. Our thinking, passion and curiosity makes learning a natural step.   The skills are then integrated and pulled in to who we are.   Not just a doing or a checklist (although I have lots of them) but a way of thinking and intuition.   Of being.

  The older I get the more I enjoy the chaos and joy of Christmas decorating with children.  Squealing with delight and all of the joy and inhibition of childhood they bounce from one thing to another.   We have soup, finger food and conversation.  My teenage boys had hauled the decorations and trees up earlier so I was not expecting them and was thrilled when they came and bringing a friend. Little ones were busy fluffing tree branches and adding bulbs with the teens and the grown ups.  Our youngest helper in her polka dotted red dress stacked the bulbs on her favorite branch.  Little girls took turns climbing the ladder to decorate the middle while the boys were playing tag. As I stood back to admire the trees with my husband...we had to smile.  All of the bows were lined up on one side while the white bulbs were on the back.  I asked him, "Should I fix it?"  "No.  It's sweet," he said, "I like it."  I smiled.  We a...

It was calving season during a very difficult winter when I learned to play checkers. I think about it every time I play checkers...like last night-when my son beat me three times in a row!   I can't remember what year but we were still in the basement part of the house with the shell on top. Every once in a while, Mom sent us up to run off some energy! It was very cold and piles of wood were at the bottom of the stairs to keep the stove fed.  Even in the basement we could hear the wind.  The snow was blowing and piled in hard packed drifts against anything that stood in its way. My Grandma and Grandpa had come up to "get snowed in with us" (they lived a mile away) so they could help with calving.  It didn't take long and we were all snowed in together with the electricity finally going out.   Mom is a collector of anything old and had several kerosene lanterns for just this reason.  She filled them with the kerosene and trimmed the wicks....

I loved exploration as a child.  From opening the door and going down the stairs to get something from my Grandma's root cellar or exploring old homesteads while checking cows.  I credit my Mom with teaching us to appreciate those things that represented the people who had gone before us. When I moved with my husband and boys to a house on the family ranch-I began exploring immediately.  This was the house my Aunt and Uncle lived in during my childhood.  My Grandparents had lived there and many other families dating back to 1900 when it was built.   With two little boys in tow, I made my way to the root cellar and found a treasure cove.  Old text books belonging to the original family who had been a teacher, the original medicine cupboard, tools, trash and memorabilia.   I felt like an archeologist sifting through layers of debris representing generations and culture.  And I was.  I hauled truckloads of trash to the dump (some...

Friday after Thanksgiving the boys brought in our Christmas tree and setting it up for me.  Off and on throughout the day I fluffed and straightened branches trying to get them just right.  Stringing lights and then fluffing it more.  Finally I added the decorations and sat back to enjoy.   Then I noticed the crick in the top of the tree....  When I asked my youngest son to fix it... he gave me a knowing look and said, "Mom- trees aren't perfect.  Every tree has a crick in it." So now my tree has a perfectly beautiful crick and I smile when I see it.  It's just the way it should be!

Graham crackers rolls are a family tradition started by my Great Grandpa.  As young girls we would have to sit around the table with everyone participating and make them.  Everyone's hands have to be in!  The recipe can't be written down and has to be passed down generation to generation.  Tonight we made it at home with a young lady joining us.  What fun it is to hear my husband telling them, "Everyone's hands have to be in!"  I remember like it was yesterday bringing him home for the first time to meet my family.  My Mom's cassette tape playing with old country music.  Bringing my poor- only child rock head to my family of six girls was quite the shock.  He loved every minute of it!   Together we have braided traditions, background, personalities and memories and our lives into a strand all of our own.  Watching my husband, two youngest sons and an awesome young lady making graham cracker roll reminded me of the un-...

Reading 4 Points Coaching Blog this  morning and was intrigued by this question:   What's trying to chase you down?  What have you been running from?  What desire sneaks up on you in the quiet moments of your life?   I woke up this morning at 3 with my Heart's Cry on my mind.  So many young families are struggling.  When Dads and Moms struggle then kids struggle.  When Pastors struggle...then churches do. For me it is the desire to have a small piece of land to provide a retreat for those young families in the ministry in small churches who are worn out and struggling with the calling on their life.  To provide support, coaching and counsel to the entire family.  Pastors, spouses and children.  To provide a respite for their bodies, minds, hearts and their souls.  To encourage and fan the flame of their desires and their strengths. Not just a quiet place to get a way but a place to BE in.  A hospita...

I admit.  I'm a news junkie.  I listen to the depressing news and end up having to debrief!!  With all of the bad experiences with banks across the nation... I've just considered how thankful I am for my bank! When I grew up, the banker came to our house along with the bookkeeper to go over the ranch's needs for the following year.  It was just what Dad did and when we had to go in for something, we knew them and it was a comfortable place to be.  But we made money once a year when we sold a calf and then spent it all.  Neither my husband nor I had a clue. My bank here opened their doors to us when we moved in.  And no....I'm not one of those individuals like my Uncle that find banks vying for my business!!  My bank has people who have the heart of a teacher.  They have met with each of my boys and we go through the ritual at 14 or 15 years old or opening up their first checking and they get a debit card.  At this time, the banker...

Driving today through God's Country and enjoying the cows, the wildlife and the scenery through a back trail and over cattle guards when I caught myself......using my blinkers!!!    I quickly turned them off hoping that no one saw...except the cows! I used to laugh at people like this and now it's me.   Serves me right.   However, if you could have seen the look on the cow's face...it would make you wonder!

During football season this year, I watched my middle son take on the role of helping the younger guys...his brother specifically.  I heard them talking one evening about tackles and the recent practice.  He said, "When you learn to use what you have-then you'll be good."  Wise. Wise. Wise. Using what we have at hand.   Our strengths, personalities, resources and relationships are the most important professional development tool we have.  We have unique skill sets, passions and goals that God can use to serve the area we are in. For example-I have gypsy blood or maybe its that pioneer homesteader in me but I get anxious to go.  To travel.  To drive.  To see.  To learn new things!  I'm always curious about what is over the next hill or around the next corner.  Don't tell me...let me find it!  I utilize this in my church and in my job by having the passion and desire to learn, meet new people and reach out in differen...

Serving.  Serving and Blessing others.   That's what I want this Thanksgiving and Christmas to be about.  I've been thinking of some simple things to do.  I would love to hear your ideas!  Let's start a serving revolution! S ome ways to serve while you are OUT... Be a blessing to our servers during the holidays if we go out to eat.  Tip 20%.  Smile, be polite and clean up our mess.   A friend of mine models this during travel with the kids...Be a Blessing To Someone.  Look people in the eye.  They are valuable and important! Smile at the checkout person. Take our carts back inside. Take other carts back. Open and hold the doors. Let others go first...in line...to the parking space... Take time to greet people and visit in the store.  This can be a very lonely and stressful time for many. Pick up some cans of food to share with others. Drive slow (Oh man-this is what my goal is!)  Some ways to serve...

What's the relationship between selfishness and a heart full of hatred, loneliness, despair, bitterness, anger, apathy and hopelessness?  It's all about who we serve.  Who is the Master of my heart.  Whom do I serve? In our self-indulgent, self-focused and self-entitled culture-can we tear away from selfishness?  The Bible says that we can't serve two masters. We either hate one or love the other. It can't be both ways.   Gary Thomas stated in an article in Discipleship Journal that, "Selfishness is a form of slow suffocation, choking us on the limited air of our self-interest.  It reduces our world, our focus, and our concerns to an almost unbearable degree." Selfishness is choking the life out of our marriages, children, churches and communities.   Leaving a generation of children in relationship poverty and churches without laborers.   Communities struggle to fill the roles of volunteers.  A black ...

Saturday focus on this blog during the holidays is tradition.  Traditions that transmit values, beliefs history.  I tend to lose phone service as I drive around the sandhills; transmission dropped in the low spots.  An inconvenience but also a reminder to me of how much I depend on it. We tend to lose the transmission in the low spots and the busy times of our lives.  It takes intentional action to keep the transmission of tradition. It is critical this holiday season not to drop those critical opportunities to transmit values, beliefs and history to our children and families. Thanksgiving Eve is rich with these in our family.  A tradition that I continue in my family is having Mustard Sardines and Crackers the night before.  My Mom began this tradition to share an experience and appreciate all that we have in our lives. My mother and her sister were alone on one Thanksgiving while they were in high school.  Their Mom was in the hospital and D...

Five Minute Friday:  Trust Begin. Trust. Build over time and experiences. Based on truth, openness, honesty and forthrightness. Foundational. Secure. Functional. Relevant. Trust. Trusting God in the good times. Trusting God in the bad times. Trusting God with strengths and with challenges. Trust. Trusting God for my children. Trusting His Hand upon their lives. Trusting His provision. Trusting His Will. Trusting His Desire for their lives. Trusting God. Today. Tomorrow. Always. Intentional choice based on truth and experience. Choosing to stand on God's mercy and grace. Trusting God with those I hold near and dear is tough for me.  Releasing them to God to care for and protect.  Releasing is Trust Trust is in Releasing.

It is cold.  It has snowed.  My seed magazines have come in and I've ordered "just a few things."  So on this big picture Thursday I'm dreaming of raised beds and all things green and growing. Setting It Up! Securing The Base! Filled With Dirt & Ready To Go!   Hoping For Lots of Growth!

A friend had given me copies of old magazines and I'm Loving them.  An article by Gary Thomas in the Discipleship Journal Jan/Feb 2003 where he says,  "Spiritual health is marked by vibrant, others-centered compassion and concern."   "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible."   1 Corinthians 9:19 Augustine said, God fashions us, that is, forms and creates us anew, not as men--for He has done that already--but as good men, which His grace is now doing.  Being unselfish sets us free!  C.S. Lewis says, "Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.  Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead.  Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay.  But look for Christ, and you will find Him and with Him everything else thrown in." I see myself as a pretty giving person...

As I'm working through my goals and budget for next year, I'm trying to find every little way to save money in order to put toward debt.  So I was curious about taxes and did a google search.  This sight on Modern Survival had very interest graphs on state's total tax burden.  I'm not a tax specialist so check this out for yourself but it does have interesting facts to consider.  My state is unfortunately one of worst but hopefully we will see that change! http://modernsurvivalblog.com/retreat-living/state-tax-burden/ State Tax Burden (sales, income, property) The same weight is applied to each category lowest to highest (best to worst, most favorable to least favorable) 1 Wyoming 2 Florida 3 South Dakota 4 Delaware 5 West Virginia 6 Nevada 7 Kentucky 8 New Hampshire 9 Arkansas 10 Michigan 11 New Mexico 12 North Dakota 13 Colorado 14 Alaska 15 Tennessee 16 Indiana 17 Pennsylvania 18 Ohio 19 Hawaii 20 Texas 21 Montana 22 Oklahoma 23 Mis...

We woke up this morning to snow!  One of the most beautiful kinds...large flakes falling slowly.  In fact, when I stand at the window I can see their fringed edges and intricate details.   One snow flake isn't that exciting but when they all fall together it is an awesome sight.  One can almost feel the quiet and the peacefulness.  Like a down blanket pulled around my shoulders.  As if God's Grace is laying gently across my mind. I needed this moment of peace as a simple reminder that All Is Well With My Soul!  Struggling with my health and keeping my mind on all that is good and noble and pure and staying positive.  This moment at my window has settled my mind. Let it snow!  Let it Snow!!! Word Wisdom:  "To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." Col.1:29 "Only his indwelling and our continual intimate communion with him can dispel any doubt about obtaining heaven.  To have him...

Preparations for Thanksgiving are in full swing.  I walk by cans of pumpkin pie, brown sugar and all the fixins' when I buy milk.  (Speaking of...this is the time of year I stock up on baking supplies.  Sugar and everything else is going up so now is a good time to get them!) Orange, yellow and brown decorations are now on clearance with the Halloween decorations as Christmas crowds them all out. But thanksgiving isn't a food or a decoration or something to buy at the store.   In our easy come and easy go culture...do we really get thankfulness?   When I ate canned beans growing up,  I couldn't help but think about the hard work of planting and harvesting.   As I sit in my living room, I'm thankful for the hard work that it took to do the walls and the floors.  The time and the sacrifice the men in my life gave to make this room. I'm thankful and humbled when I get my paycheck and it drives me to work harder to make sure that...

Sustainability is a word that comes up over and over.  Sustainable practice. Sustainable projects.  Sustainable funding.  Sustainable living.  Sustainable thinking.   If I'm looking at funding-this is one of the first questions asked.  If I'm reading about gardening or farming...this word is weaved throughout. Sustainable: Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level.  Able to be upheld or defended. The word has a feeling of confidence and a sense of control to it.  I CAN SUSTAIN "it" and can ensure it's continuation.  Today I was struck by the arrogance of this word and the way we use it as a culture.   True sustainability is all about total reliance on the ONE who can sustain.  The only one that can maintain, uphold and defend us and our world.  It is not our ability to live sustainable lives but rather our dependence on the ONE who sustains all life. Our focus needs to be on our relationship with God a...

New Beginning.  A new school week.  A new work week.  We have the opportunity to reset and begin again! Focusing on our calling which includes our work and how we do it!  Making sure we are on the right path to the where we want to go.  Goals and Vision.  Having the energy and stamina to make changes happen and build momentum. Small STEPS to the destination that I want to end up at! This week I continue with habits I've built, I'm building and I'm beginning.  This is my experiment of taking the steps I want to take toward more energy and meeting my career, professional development and financial goals in small manageable steps so I can succeed.   My Baby Steps To Building Energy and Stamina... Still Pop Free!! 2 Bottles of Water a Day (2 liters) Oatmeal/whole grain for breakfast. 8 hours of sleep! Awake and UP at 5a. Adding 20 minutes of walking daily this week!  Wish me Luck! Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds li...

Day 1: It Begins My husband came with few traditions and I came with countless so coming together to start our own family...we pulled traditions from each extended family and then built our own.  Some things we tweaked to make them our own and some we invented! Whether it is your family, church family, school, civic group or friends...traditions tie generations together.  Traditions serve as a fastener that connects past, present and future.  A holding place where memories and values meet and solidly stand the test of time. Tradition Defined:   "The transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation."  I think the Latin root is cool. From tradere which is deliver and trans-"across" + dare "give." Heather's Definition of Tradition:  To deliver, give, transmit across generations... one's values, customs and beliefs through intentionally created moments and memories that is rooted in the past and reaching to the future! Thanksgi...

Five Minute Friday on Saturday:  Birthday My youngest son's birthday lock in was last night.  Has been tradition for several years.   Makes me remember other lock ins with my boys throughout the years and oh the memories. Every time I do this, the day before I am shaking in my shoes and wondering..."What am I thinking?"  And yet these early morning hours watching the sun come up and the sounds of snoring in my church, thinking about the memories created....it was so worth it. This year, I took all of the candy and treats and put them in old coffee cans or boxes and hid them around...inside and out.  I created hints for them and the kids had to go find their treats. Some were about dirt clods and they knew just the right place.  Another was about the sledding hill and it took seconds for them to figure it out-then of course we had the tunnel.. and Boot Hill. They knew where to find them as they drew on their memories. My Mom was a good example of pu...

I believe I was born a dreamer.  What I wanted to be when I grew up?  I wanted to do it all! Horse Trainer, Rancher, Missionary, Pastor, Counselor, Social Worker, Cop, Teacher, Veterinarian, Attorney and Race Car Driver to name a few. My world revolved around horses and building by instinct for behavior led me have giant plans for my barns and pastures for troubled horses that no one else wanted.  I drew for hours my sketches and lay out for training facilities down to the tack room and office. Seeing the children on a Mission for Mercy commercial changed my life and as an 8th grader I made the call and adopted a little girl whom I wrote back and forth with.  I decided then I was going over sees to help children on the trash piles or bring them all home. This catalyst changed my dreams and drawings to include a giant house that would be a refuge for troubled children where they could have the freedom to learn and grow that I did.  They would work with the h...

Building Stamina: Old School.  (Monday morning focus on energy and work.) I set goals, desire change but seem to not have the energy to escape the gravitational pull of average.   I've heard about all of the energy and fuel it takes to get the space shuttle off the ground.  And.......it might take just about that much for me to break the barriers of self-sabotage, lack of focus and lack of discipline. Two weeks ago I quit drinking Diet Pepsi and have to stay far from it.  I have gone back to lemon in my water or even tea now and then. 5am Club is established and I love being back to these early morning hours when the house is quiet.    David bought me a fancy water bottle with a spout so I can't use the excuse of my lack of depth perception, sensory issues... (amazing how many excuses I can find.) By next Monday I'll be at two a day. This week I'm going old school!  Adding back what we used to live on! Oatmeal.  Good old fashioned whole...