Broken Surrender Cry

I wonder if I will ever learn?  Learn to surrender before being broken.  

Broken surrender seems to be the only way to reach the cry of my heart.  The cry of, "I'm done.  I quit.  You take over." 

It's more feeling deep within my heart then a prayer from my mouth.  Words fall short.  

Working harder or running away isn't working.  

Anxious activity is like boxing the air.

Distraction, avoidance and procrastination certainly doesn't help.

Fighting?  For a while, until the adrenalin wears out.

Pumping up faith like we used to do with my Grandma's well pump leaves me exhausted.

Nope.

A cry of surrender.

I need the great physician to place his healing hand on my brokenness as I've been trying to heal and fix it on my own.

This time the symptoms revolve around money and my lack of handling it well.  The point of the pain I don't want to face.

However, the symptoms radiate out from a heart that needs Him.  

1. All to Jesus I surrender;
   All to Him I freely give;
   I will ever love and trust Him,
   In His presence daily live.
   • Refrain:
     I surrender all,
     I surrender all;
     All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
     I surrender all.
2. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Humbly at His feet I bow,
   Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
   Take me, Jesus, take me now.
3. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
   Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
   Truly know that Thou art mine.
4. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Lord, I give myself to Thee;
   Fill me with Thy love and power;
   Let Thy blessing fall on me.
5. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Now I feel the sacred flame.
   Oh, the joy of full salvation!
   Glory, glory, to His Name!