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Off The Cliff!


I'm so excited to reconnect with you and pray you are listening to your Heart's cry!

 For months, I stood on the edge of a cliff.  A cliff  I've walked up to and backed down from thousands of time.  I've finally jumped.

 July 31st was the last day of a very amazing and safe job.  I loved the people I was able to meet and the professional learning.  However, it had also become death by a thousand paper cuts to my dreams,  I lost my computer, office, identity and routine.  

 For a month and a half, I wondered through limbo.   I hid.  I felt disconnected and afraid.  I read and wrote in my journal.  Blown about by winds of change.  Like the brown leaves seeking a place to land.

 Fear drove me and I wanted to take new job opportunities and jump on board new causes.   

 Grief gripped me and surprised me.  In counting the cost, this loss of relationships was not factored in.  I thought the friends from work would be friends out of work.  I miss them.

 Money is scarce and winter is coming. Insecurity tries to hold me.

 I'm devouring books.  "The Grapes of Wrath," "To Kill a Mockingbird," and other books both classical and contemporary.  Reading through my pile of "To Read."  Slowly.

 In the end, I want to do what God wants me to do.  I want to be my husband's wife and my sons' mom.  I want to be a Pastor's wife and a Pastor.  I want to serve our parents and find a way to reconnect with my sisters.  I want to train and I want to coach.  

 I want to live my life on purpose and with focused thinking and God's leading.  I want to hide in my refuge and prepare.  
"Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.

He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
who subdues peoples under me.

O Lord, what is man that you care for him,
the son of man that you think of him?
Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.

Part your heavens, O Lord, and come down;
touch the mountains, so that they smoke.
Send forth lightning and scatter the enemies:
Shoot your arrows and rout them.

Reach down your hand from on high;
deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters,
from the hands of foreigners
whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful." Psalms 144:1-8


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